#was hungover like 8 am but then it was better

[girlblocker]

2 pm hangover nausea let’s goooo 👎

[devilsskettle]

every november 1st is terrible i should really learn by now that i can’t plan to do anything on november 1st because i’m going to feel like shit. even if i don’t drink on halloween i feel like shit so being hungover makes everything fucking impossible

[whyse7vn]

BREAK -

[ot7 x reader]

PEACE AND LOVE 😁💗

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

jk: guys i’m lost ☹️

jimin: like emotionally??

tae: or sexually?

jk: woah um

idk anymore

jin: probably psychologically

yoongi: what’s new?

namjoon: jungkook you are in your kitchen

y/n: can confirm he is in the kitchen.

yoongi: loser

jin: what’s with the punctuation lmao

jk: woah i am in our kitchen

how did i get here

good morning guys ^0^

jin: it’s 7pm?

y/n: he’s hungover.

jk: yeah T-T

jimin: not surprised drank jin’s body weight in alcohol yesterday

jk: there was a lot going on :((

yoongi: so you result to alcoholism?

namjoon: it’s better than resulting to violence!!!

y/n: hoseok can’t relate.

hobi: i said i’m sorry 😓

jin: jimin i’ve thought about it and i really think you’re projecting when it comes to this weight thing

jimin: project a vegetable

jin: project a cure for the body issues you CEARLY have

namjoon: guys

jk: ants playing ddr in my head rn

i’m so upset

also how do i take about a loan?

i want a loan

namjoon: jungkook you do not need a loan

jk: ok

i’m sorry

namjoon: jungkook you better not be crying right now

jk: i’m not crying

y/n: he is crying

but that is not important rn.

can we talk about yesterday because what the fuck?

tae: YESSS i’ve been waiting for this

whoever wants the video of hobi punching the shit out of jaehyun you have to me pay at least 4k

namjoon: what is wrong with you

tae: if you want it with sound i have to charge extra

tae changed the gc name to “HOBI GOT HANDS”

y/n: not funny.

namjoon: taehyung please

jin: can’t believe hobi fr punched him

yoongi: i can

hobi: y/n you still mad??

jin: she’s using punctuation

she’s furious ☠️

jimin: sHe’S fUrIoUs 🤓☝🏼

who tf says that

jin: OHMYGOD GET OF MY DICK FOR ONE SECOND I’M BEGGING

jimin: sHe’S fUrIoUs 🤓☝🏼

tae: is she fast too lmao

y/n: shut the fuck up taehyung

tae: okay!

y/n: my boyfriend is fine btw

if any of you actually care

yoongi: don’t

hobi: i’m sorry

y/n: you laughed after you made him bleed

yoongi: didn’t you laugh too lol??

y/n: OKAY I DID A LITTLE

but that’s before i realised hoseok hit him for real

jin: you can hit someone for fake?

tae: you can watch her smile fall after the second punch in the video it’s really funny actually!!!!!!!

y/n: didnt i tell you to shut the fuck up?

tae: you did

i’m sorry

shutting up

like rn ong 🙏🏼

🤐

jin: ?

jimin: it means on god

jin: stop talking to me

jimin: sorry just making sure you got it

slang sure has changed since 1781!!!

jin: 1781????????

jk: omg that’s that one hamilton song

hobi: there is no hamilton song called 1781

jimin: are we talking about the 1975

tae: the what

hobi: aren’t they white?

tae: they????

jimin: HAMILTONS WHITE????

yoongi: the real one is

jimin: there’s a fake hamilton??

tae: hamilton a they/them?

namjoon: you can’t say that

y/n: why are we talking about hamilton?

tae: why can’t i say that?

am i pissing off the feminists? ☠️☠️☠️

namjoon: this has nothing to do with feminism

jin: i’m a feminist

tae: did my they/them hamilton question offend you??

jin: tf does that even mean

jimin: born in 1066 doesn’t even know what pronouns are

jin: fuck you and ur proverbs

y/n: he literally said pronouns

tae: i’m a prosexhaver

yoongi: you have stds

hobi: personally i would like to shoot taehyung

jk: sex haver????

jin: virgin

y/n: he makes me sick

jimin: oh i HATE him

namjoon: deep breaths

tae: ???

wtf

why did you all just turn on me like that?

guys are you jealous of my sex having abilities?

everyone be honest now

y/n: you clearly don’t know what shutting the fuck up includes

tae: ok i’m sorry

never speaking again starting in like

an hour

i promise

y/n: how about now

tae: 30 mins?

y/n: kys

tae: stop flirting omg 🤭

yoongi: idiot

jk: WAIT OMG?

HOBI FR PUNCHED JAEHYUN??/! ö

jin: you were literally there??

jk: I THOUGHT THAT WAS A DREAM

OHMYGOD

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

HEHEHE

OMG HOBI THATS CRAZY

UR CRAZY

hobi: i’m not crazy

jimin: like crazy

y/n: you think it’s funny??

jk: NO

no

absolutely not wtf

????????

hoseok why would you do that?

that’s so messed up

shame on you really

shame on you

jimin: ur pathetic actually

namjoon: anyways hobi it was wrong of you to result to violence just because you were jealous

please apologise

y/n please accept his apology you know hobi wouldn’t never want to upset you on purpose he loves and cares for you deeply

kiss and make up guys

you don’t want to fuck up our group dynamic do you???

no?

didn’t think so!!

wow would you look at that we are all friends again

smooth like butter 🧈 💛

dynamite 🧨

borahae in this bangtan shit for life 💜💜

y/n: kys

jk: KISS???????????

jin: hobi was jealous?

hobi: NO?????????

yoongi: interesting

jimin: yeah that’s crazy

hobi: I WASN’T I SWEAR

namjoon: you weren’t???

oh

my fault

hobi: yeah your fault

maybe ur just projecting lol

jimin: yeah calling bullshit

if you didn’t punch him out of jealously

what did you punch him for???

tae: it’s cuz he was like feeling her up right in front of our faces right??

have he no respect?

jk: respect no he have?

tae: stop

jk: sorry

tae: actually nvm you were agreeing with me

agree some more

jk: i agree some more

tae: see?

jk: see??

tae: what a nasty pervert freak of a man

namjoon: look in a mirror

jimin: that’s crazy because i wasn’t talking you

tae: right joon shut the hell up

jk: zip it

jimin: you as in YOU taehyung and jungkook

i was talking to hobi not you guys

jk: oh

tae: we talk for hobi

hobi: no you don’t

tae: we ARE hobi

jk: i’m not hobi

or am i?????

ohmgod am i???

yoongi: ur all so annoying

y/n: ok hoseok wasn’t jealous are you stupid??

why would he be jealous?????

hobi: right!

i was drunk

jin: i swear you didn’t drink last night??

hobi: ur not helping?

jimin: i’m telling you it’s bullshit

tae: ok now let’s talk about how that was coolest thing hobi’s ever done in his life should of tagged me in fr fr

i would of gone crazy no joke 💯💯

we would of got him so bad hobi

#dreamteam 😍

namjoon: taehyung

tae: what?

i’m just saying

y/n: say one more thing

tae: i’m sorry

sorry

SORRY 😢

jimin: so the plot thickens!!

hobi: there is not plot

there is no jealousy

jin: ok why did you punch him then

hobi: i was drunk i said that already

jin: you DIDN’T drink

guys why is he lying to us

do you not trust us???

come on step into my office hoseok

open up to daddy jin

y/n: ew???

jin: ew?

y/n: that’s what i said

jin: but in spainnnnnn

y/n: stop

jin: 🫰🏻

yoongi: hobi do you want to fuck y/n?

hobi: what

yoongi: answer the question

y/n: yoongi wtf???

namjoon: yoongi please

jk: DO NOT ANSWER DO NOT ANSWER DO NOT ANSWER

hobi: i’m not answering that wtf

jimin: i think we all know his answer anyways

yoongi: yeah

but i want him to say it

tae: waitttt kinky

say it hoseok 😋😋😋

namjoon: can we not rn…

jimin: tae you definitely need to add him to ur stupid little group chat

tae: ummmm

it’s not stupid it’s real actually

jk: real men only!!!

tae: hobi are you a real man?

hobi: what

tae: are you real??

hobi: yeah

jk: say it

hobi: say what?

tae: i’m real

hobi: i’m real?

tae: REAL UGLY

HAHAHA

jk: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

hobi: u guys are so unfunny it hurts

tae: got you lolz

namjoon: taehyung stop talking

tae: forgive me? 🥺

hobi tried to come for what we stand for

hobi: i literally didn’t???

it was jimin

jin: hey wait what group chat??

let me in what the hell

yoongi: no

jin: ur in the gc too??

yoongi: am i?

jk: he is

tae me joon and yoongi 💓

namjoon: can you stfu.

jin: EVEN JOON??????

let me in or ur all going to hell

y/n: yeah me too wtf??

tae: jin

between me and you

your invite may arrive soon

i’ve seen your eyes wondering as of late

jin: ????

what

yeah ok nvm!

i think i’ll live not being in ur gc

and if this is about what i think it’s about

count me out

jk: aw man :/

tae: wow so many haters in this life

you’ll regret this

you’ll be begging on ur knees to join real soon

y/n: WHAT ABOUT ME HELLO????

jk: hiiiiiii ^_^

y/n: ykw nvm idc

yoongi: you do

y/n: not

yoongi: yeah ok :3

namjoon: there is no group chat

jk: ??? yes there is don’t be silly joon 😂😂

namjoon: OHMYGOD LEARN HOW TO TAKE A FUCKING HINT

can we move on

wtf why am i asking you guys

i’m the leader

we are moving on.

y/n: THIS IS SEGREGATION

jk: ohmygod is this a race thing???

namjoon not again

jimin: LMFAOOOSJDJJK

y/n: i mean i was talking about gender

but this could be a race thing

is this a race thing????

jk: OHMYGOD NAMJOON UR A SEXIST TOO????

i thought that was just jimin

jin: no ur right

jk: oh ok!

jimin: can you stop

i’m NOT a sexist ok

but hobi DID punch jaehyun

hobi: wtf is ur problem

jimin: sorry i needed to put everyone back on track xx

hobi: there is no track

jimin: no there is a track and i put everyone back on it

jk: train track

yoongi: lay on one?

tae: LAYOVER YES

i know that album

it’s really good

indigo flopped

namjoon: shut up shut up shut up shut up

tae: so like gf wyd rn? *kicks feet giggles*

yoongi kicked tae out of “HOBI GOT HANDS!!”

yoongi: not sorry

jk: it’s ok i forgive you

yoongi: shut up

jk: ok

y/n: he told me we should go on a break…

jk: i had a break on my bike once

then it broke

so i had a breakless bike

and i couldn’t brake

so to stop i would just pedal into walls

my bike to this day has no breaks it makes me sad

namjoon: jungkook please just get a new bike

and y/n i’m sorry to hear about your break

jk: ok >.<

y/n: thanks ig

namjoon: wait

??????

break

ur on break

with jaehyun?

y/n: no i’m on a break with fucking usher

jin: A BREAK?????????????

jimin: WOAH WAIT HOLD ON

yoongi: is he fucking stupid???

jk: USHER???

hobi: no jungkook she’s talking about jaehyun

jk: oh

hobi: jaehyun

nct jaehyun your friend jaehyun.

jk: OHMYGOD WAIT WHAT WHATWHENDHDHDJDJD WHAT OHMYGOF OHMSYSH DKEJEJDJG SISHDJXMISSHENDODJDIDUSJEJFJDKDKFNDBDNDMDNDFNFNFNFMMF

jk added tae to “HOBI GOT HANDS!!”

jk: LOOK

tae: hey guys u missed me 😁?

jk: LOOK

tae: looking

jk: LOOKSKKSKSKDKDKDDKK

tae: holy shit

y/n are you ok??

jimin: THIS IS INSANE

y/n: yeah fuck him and fuck his break

yoongi: i’ll break his neck

jin: jungkook get ur friend

jk: JSNDNDNNDJJDJDFJNDJDJDJDJD ahshshxhdnxndnxnd JAJSHDBSBDBXBXNXNXJXJXJZHHXHXBSHSHSHXHZJZJXJXJXJJXJXJJDD SHSNDNDNDNDNXNDJJDXJXJXJX DHXJDJDNDNDNXXNZN

tae: woah

hobi: but are you like actually ok???

y/n: never been better

namjoon: no fr it’s ok if you’re upset

y/n: i’m not upset

jimin: wow

so like

wow

idk how to comfort people namjoon say something

namjoon: there there?

jin: chin up!!!!!

jk: I AM ALSO SINGLE THIS IS SUCH A COINCIDENCE LIKE WE ARE BOTH SINGLE AT THE SAME TIME WOW LIKE YEAH UR ON A HREAK BUT UR BASICALLY SINGLE THATS REALLY CRAZY LIKE HAHA LOL WE ARE SINGLE LOOK AT US TWO SINGLE PEOPLE WHO HAPPEN TO LIVE TOGETHER MAYBE WE SHOULD IDK LIKE HEHEH JSJSJJSJDJ

yoongi: when are we jumping him??

i can leave now

y/n: shut up

yoongi: you coming over?

y/n: no?

yoongi: boo

y/n: i’m going to hobi’s

hobi: you are??

jimin: to fight or fuck??

y/n: shut up

jin: that’s crazy

hobi broke up a happy home

hobi: i’m genuinely so sorry

i didn’t mean to

y/n: wasn’t even ur fault don’t apologise

he was a acting weird for a while

wanted to live in denial but it’s whatever idc!!!!!!!

tae: you clearly do care and that’s ok

y/n: i DON’T

tae: y/n

y/n: taehyung

jimin: ew like why is taehyung being all serious i hate it

tae: cuz this is serious

y/n: it’s not

tae: it’s ok to be upset

y/n: i know and i’m NOT

tae: y/n

y/n: i’m not upset omg????

stop being weird i’m like so ok it’s crazy

jimin: like crazy lolz

jin: that is the second time you’ve made that joke and it was just as unfunny as it was the first time you said it

jimin: why are you keeping tabs on me and what i say get a LIFE

jin: you make me want to kms

jimin: do it

jin: namjoon get him before i get violent

namjoon: guys can you see we have bigger issues going on rn

be serious for once

y/n: i’m fine

there is no serious issue

i’m ok

no tears

no noting

i’m fine ok? ok

tae: y/n

y/n: tae stop

ykw ur pissing me off

ur all pissing me off

y/n left “HOBI GOT HANDS!!”

hobi: oh wow

jin: i didn’t even do anything fr

jimin: i blame tae

yoongi: jaehyun is a bitch

jk: do you think she’ll let me kiss her now?

namjoon: jungkook shut up

tae do NOT message her

and yoongi do not even THINK about leaving your house rn

i think we need to have a group meeting or something

—

sorry this sucks i just needed a reason to get rid of jaehyun so we could move forward LMAO i’m sorry better things coming soon 😁🙏🏽

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @sopebubbles-replies @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin

[x-bluefire-heart-x]

So...Now?

Alright Chapter 9 of Dating up is here. I split it in half, this is set directly after Chapter 8. I hope you guys like this and the next chapter is almost done and will be up soon.

Let me know if you guys want to be added to the tag list! Also if you have any ideas you want to see, like any episodes that you would like to see Chica in.

Warnings: Sexual contact, fingering, sucking dick, a hint at anal play, marking, dirty talk

Master List

Prompt List

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10

Tag List: @pear-1206

“Oh god,” you muttered shoving your head deeper under the pillow. “I hate life.”

Your mouth was dry and felt like cotton but also a little minty as you tried to work out what happened last night. It all got a little fuzzy around the time Rafael and his friends showed up. But you were sure there was something in there that was embarrassing, something…

“Oh jesus, please tell me that was just a weird ass dream?” you pleaded.

“If you’re talking about last night, then I’m afraid not Chica,” Rafael’s amused voice drifted over you. You groaned in response, burrowing further into the nest you had made in his bed. The events of last night became a little clearer the longer you were awake, you felt your body turn to ice, your stomach dropping as you remembered in detail what you did and said.

“I am so sorry,” you whispered sitting up, turning to look at Rafael, you felt so bad about last night. You couldn’t believe what you had done.

“Why?” Rafael asked moving forwards, sitting down and taking your hand, bringing it to his lips.

“Cause I was meeting your friends for the first time and I was so drunk that I talked about your dick and sex,” you whined eyes watering a little. “And everything else, I must have been so embarrassing.”

“Carino, they thought you were adorable,” he assured you cupping your cheek and stroking under your eye to catch the stray tears. “And believe me they were happy for the material for teasing me.”

“Are you sure?” you asked. Rafael tugged on your hands urging you to move so you were sitting in his lap, legs straddling him and arms fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. His hands ran up and down your sides soothingly.

“Sweetheart, I am so sure,” he nodded, kissing your nose. “You could never do anything that would embarrass me. You were showing affection and being yourself around my friends. That is all I could ask, plus you made such a good snarky remark against Carisi, so there’s that.”

“Rafi,” you smiled feeling a little better about last night. “Promise me you’ll tell me if I made them uncomfortable?”

“Of course,” he agreed. “Do you feel better?”

“About that yes, but I still feel like death warmed up,” you rubbed your head. “Thank you for drinking my margherita.”

“Ah, see I made a good choice,” he tweaked your nose just to hear you giggle. “Alright, do you want to have a shower or some food?”

“Hm, shower, definitely,” you were about to get up but suddenly sat back down your eyes staring at Rafael, studying him.

“Chica?” he asked, brow furrowed unsure what you were doing.

“You said no to sex last night,” you stated

“Of course, you were drunk,”

“Huh,”

“Why?”

“It’s like a low bar, don’t get me wrong but thank you,” you shrugged. “But just for future reference, I would be okay with us fooling around when I’m a little drunk.”

“Noted, let’s have this conversation when you are a little more awake and alive,” he grinned.

“Alright,” you agreed. “But…wanna join me in the shower? I’m not drunk anymore.”

“If I ever say no to that question, it isn’t me and you should call Liv,” Rafael’s grip tightened on your hips holding you to him to stop you from getting up. “First, though I want you to drink some more water.”

“Rafi,”

“No, water and I’ll join you in the shower but that is it,” he tapped you on the nose. “You are hungover and as much as I would like to fuck you in the shower, I don’t think you’re really up to that are you?”

“No,” you pouted. “Though speaking of, did you clean my teeth last night? Whilst my mouth is dry it is minty.”

“Ah, no, you woke up, threw up and then cleaned your teeth while complaining about the light,” Rafael answered. “And then you preceded to do your whole night skin care. Which was not something I thought I would ever see done after a night of drinking.”

“….yeah that sounds like me, sorry should have warned you I tend to do that,” you scratched the back of your neck. “Sorry about throwing up.”

“Chica, it’s fine, you made it to the bathroom,” Rafael kissed your neck nibbling on the skin there.

“Woah buddy, if you don’t want to fuck me you better stop,” you wiggled away from his mouth before groaning a little. “Yeah, I think I need water. My head is trying to kill me.”

Rafael laughed wrapping his arm firmly around your waist as he leaned to grab the water bottle from the side table. Opening it behind your back before bringing it up to your lips, raising an eyebrow when you pursed your lips, face confused.

“Oh, so I can help you drink water when you’re drunk and don’t want to let go of my friend’s hand but now that it is the two of us suddenly it’s weird?” he asked. “Nice Chica.”

“Oh my god, I did that?” you asked.

“You did, and you owe me for that,” he nodded. “It completely ruined my hard arse reputation.”

“I’m sure you can make that back the next time you make a witness cry, or refuse to get a warrant cause they don’t have enough evidence and their “maternal instincts” aren’t enough,”

“Okay I told you I did that in confidence for it to never be mentioned again,”

“You never said off the record,”

“You suck,”

“You like my sucking,”

Rafael rolled his eyes as he brought the water bottle back up to your lips. You eyed it for a second longer before opening your mouth and letting him pour some in before swallowing, repeating the action until you pushed the bottle away.

“Alright, let’s get you in the shower, so you can eat something and take some pain meds,” Rafael said, recapping the bottle and sitting it on the bed beside the two of you. His arm still holding you close on his lap. “Now hold on tight.”

“What?” you were confused until Rafael stood up holding you against him. “Aw, you’re spoiling me.”

“Don’t get use to it,” Rafael warned you walking towards the bathroom.  “How’s the light?”

“Hm, hurts a little,” you admitted, eyes squinting against the harshness of the light. Rafael hummed as he sat you on the counter before reaching for the light switch and dimming them.

“Now?”

You merely hummed in response, smiling a little dopily at him. Rafael chuckled in response, pressing a kiss to your temple as he walked past you to the shower, fiddling with taps until it was the temperature you preferred. He made quick work of removing his own clothes before helping you out of yours, pressing kisses to your cheeks, temple and forehead as he did so.

“Want to wash your hair?” he asked carefully running a brush through it to get rid of the knots that appeared overnight. He hummed when you didn’t answer right away, leaning to press a kiss to you should blade. “Carino?”

“Don’t know but that feels nice,” your voice was getting drowsy from the gentle way Rafael brushed your hair, you were always a sucker for anyone who played with your hair and this, surprisingly, was the first time Rafael had brushed your hair.

“It doesn’t feel like it needs a wash, so maybe that can wait for when you’re more human,” Rafael joked reaching for a hair-tie that seemed to live on the bathroom counter. His fingers were gentle as he carefully gathered your hair and tied it into the bun he had seen you wear when you didn’t want your hair to get wet when you showered. “Is that too tight?”

“Not at all, I may have to demand that you play with my hair more often now,” you told him turning around to press a soft kiss to his lips. “I think it may be my favourite thing for you to do.”

“We’ll see,” he said, but he knew that he would never be able to deny you that request. Turns out he rather liked being able to play with your hair and brush it for you.

“We both know that means ‘Yes of course, Chica, whenever you want,’” you attempted to mimic his voice, arms wrapping around his shoulders as you pressed your naked bodies together.

“Chica,” Rafael warned, as he grabbed your hands and pulled them away before leading you into the shower. “Behave.”

“Sir, yes sir,” you mocked, attempting to hold a serious look before you broke and giggled at him.

“When you’re feeling better you are going to get it,” Rafael stated, gently turning you around so your whole body was wet before he grabbed the soap and a wash cloth. He switched places with you as he started to lather you, being so gentle with his movements.

“That feels nice, Rafi,” you whispered leaning to kiss him as he turned you around to wash your front. His eyes were soft with an emotion in them that you had never seen before, it caused your stomach to flutter and not in the way it normally does after a night of drinking.

“Good, let’s get you rinsed off,” he smiled. “Do you want to spend the day in bed?”

“Only if you are with me,” you prompted, taking the wash cloth and soap from him. “Can I wash you?”

“Maybe next time,” Rafael promised you switching places with you again to rinse off the soap. “Let’s get you dried and in bed, which yes I will join you, after I have made you some food.”

“Ooh, some greasy?” you asked.

“Bacon and egg sandwich with hashbrowns?”

“Perfect, with a cup of tea?”

“Of course, Chica, this is technically your breakfast, I know you need tea with breakfast,”

“You know me so well,” you grinned following him out of the shower.

Later in the day

“So, how are you feeling now?” Rafael asked running his hand through your hair. You smiled happily up at him, relaxing more against his lap. The two of you stayed in bed all day after your shower together, Rafael cuddling you at first and then he switched to sitting up with you laying on his lap while he read over some case notes.

“Much, thank you for looking after me,” you nodded.

“Of course, my darling,” he bent down to press a kiss to your forehead, gently stroking your cheek, before tweaking your nose.

“Normally, on our girls nights out we don’t get quite as drunk as we did,” you moaned.

“Oh?” Rafael sat his case file on the bed side table. “You young girls don’t go wild every other night?”

“Rafi, you read my dating profile, I’m a nerdy little librarian, all four of us are nerdy,” you rolled your eyes. “I prefer a night in. Last night was special it had been over four months since we were all able to meet up.”

“I know but you are still young,” he shrugged. Your eyes narrowed as you studied the way his face was twitching a little. “If you need to spend more time with your friends so you can meet up more-”

“Wait, wait, wait,” you interrupted him sitting up so you could look at him properly. “The only reason we weren’t able to meet up for nearly four months was because Shannon was out of the country visiting some of her family and Courtney had been out of state for work. And that is the second time you have said I’m young in a short time span. Rafi, does our difference in age bother you?”

“No,” Rafael denied, but he refused to look at you as he shifted sitting on the edge of the bed rubbing his face. He had hoped this might never come up between the two of you but he forgot that you were annoying observant, well, annoyingly only when you turned it on him. Adorable when it was any other time.

“Really, cause it seems a little like maybe it does,” you insisted. “Rafi, why haven’t you said anything before?”

“Because I guess I never realised until last night when I meet your friends,” he said. “And a part of me worried that I was keeping you from being with your friends and that maybe I was a little old for you.”

“Absolutely not,” you assured him, climbing onto his lap grabbing his face between your hands to ensure he couldn’t look away from you. “You listen to me right now Rafael Barba. You are not too old for me, me and my friends rarely get drunk like that, we all actually prefer hanging out at one of our places, checking out a museum or just getting a nice dinner. We occasionally get drunk like that but it is rare. You are not keeping me from my friends, now that Courtney and Shannon are back in town, we will be meeting up like we normally do. Understand?”

“Chica,” Rafael whispered his hands reaching up to cover yours, the light in his eyes coming back.

“Do you understand?” you repeated forcibly. “I need an answer bub, I need to be sure that you understand that the gap in our ages is not an issue, my friends adore you.”

“Yes, Carino I understand,” he nodded leaning forward to kiss you. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

“Anytime, babe,” you nuzzled your nose against his. “Please tell me if you start thinking like that again. Because I can tell you how you blow all other men out the water, my girls said their first times never ended with them having orgasms, well cept for Courtney but she had her first time with a woman so.”

“Really?” he asked, hands moving down to grab your hips.

“Yep,” you hummed popping the ‘p’. “So, I’m never letting you go, for the sex alone. God only knows if I could find another man who can make me orgasm from finger fucking me.”

“Good to know you aren’t superficial at all Chica,” Rafael squeezed your hips teasingly.

“I mean obviously I’m not letting you go because you’re-”

“Gorgeous, charming, sarcastic and incredibly intelligent?” he asked.

“Did…I say that last night?”

“Correct,” he nodded. “You also said I was really good in bed so.”

“God,” you groaned resting your head against his shoulder. “I’m never gonna be able to see your friends ever again.”

“Well, I mean at least you whispered your attempt at bribing me to give you your drink back,” Rafael pointed out dryly, causing you to lift your head to stare at him blankly.

“That’s something I suppose,” you agreed, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, running your fingers through his hair.

He hummed contently at your actions, letting his head fall to rest on your chest. You pressed a kiss to the top of his head, settling more firmly in his lap. The memory of what you whispered to him coming back, you couldn’t believe you said that even if no-one else was able to hear it. Though, the thought of doing that did make you excited, it turns out not even being hungover was enough to keep your desire for him down. You wiggled a little on his lap, feeling his dick underneath you didn’t help. You whimpered as you grew a little wet. Rafael’s arms tightened around you as you continued to wiggle in his lap.

“Want another shower?” Rafael asked.

“A shower?” now you were just confused…well, confused and horny but mostly confused.

“You’re feeling better,” he started, his hands holding you firmly in his lap. “And if you still want to, I would like to join you in that shower.”

“Hmm, I suppose I could be persuaded to have another shower,” you sighed, moving to get up from his lap.

“Oh, no, stay right there,” Rafael clicked his tongue, his hands holding your hips tightly to keep you firmly in his lap. Smirking when you looked at him confused. In one smooth motion he stood up holding you to him.

“Rafi!” you squeaked grabbing hold of his shoulders, legs wrapping around his waist as one of his hands moved to hold your ass, squeezing it teasingly as he walked to the bathroom. “Thought you said not to get use to this.”

“Hm, I thought this was an excellent way to get you to the bathroom so I can have my way with you,” he shrugged. “Now, what was it you said to me last night? Come on bub, let’s go.”

“Rafi,” you giggled, before grinning at him, words bubbling up inside but you held them in. Instead, you nuzzled into his neck, kissing and nibbling at the skin.

“Shit, Chica stop it,” he groused. “I could drop you.”    

“Oh, now why would you ever do that?” you asked licking up along his neck.

“Oh, now you’re going to get it woman,” he growled, a dark promise in his voice that caused you to shiver in delight. Both of his hands grabbing your arse and squeezing.

 “Maybe after this shower, we could do what I suggested last night?” you proposed.

“I have a question about that, what was with the vest?” Rafael asked sitting you on the counter, hands trailing along your thighs.

“I saw how you got one time I tried it on,” you raised an eyebrow. “It’s the same look you get in your eyes when I wear lingerie.”

“Hm, wear my blue and silver one,”

“Yes sir,” you reached out to start undoing his shirt. “But…how about I suck you off in the shower first?”

“Twist my arm, Chica,” he grinned, hands tugging your panties down as you finished with his shirt, pushing it off his shoulder and dragging your fingers back up his torso scratching over his nipples to get that little noise out of him.

His fingers trailed back up your thighs and under the shirt you were wearing as he started sucking kisses along your neck, he thought it was a little bare and that just had to change. You gasped, wrapping your legs around his waist to pull him closer, you could feel the outline of his cock against you as he rolled his hips.

“Rafi,” you moaned. “I thought I was meant to-”

“We’re not in the shower yet, Chica,” he whispered into your ear before he bit your lope gently. “I think I want you to cum on my fingers first.” Leaning back, he smirked down at you, the fingers that were gripping your thighs squeezed once before one hand inched up closer to your pussy. “So, be good and spread those legs a little more for me.”

“Aw, don’t you have enough room?” you teased before gasping as Rafael’s thumb pressed down on your clit without warning. “Rafi!”

“I suppose I could make you cum just from this but I really want to fuck you with my fingers,” he growled lowly. “Don’t you want to feel my fingers inside you?” He moved his thumb in a circular motion alternating between pressing down and barely any pressure, his other hand slipped up under your shirt to tease along the underside of your breast. “Come one, Carino, don’t you want my fingers inside you?”

“Yes, fuck yes,” you nodded.

“Then spread your legs,” he ordered. You unwrapped your legs from around his waist, opening them wide biting your lip at the look in Rafael’s eyes. It didn’t matter how many times you saw it; it still took your breath away to see him look so hungrily at you. “Good. Girl.”

Rafael kissed you as he slowly teased you by pressing the tips of two of his fingers into you before taking them out and then inserting them again just a little further each time. Each time he pulled them out he stroked them upwards and rubbed at your clit with his thumb drawing out whines and gasps from you in between kisses. He knew exactly how to work you; he could bring you to the edge but never let you tip over.  He left his fingers inside, stroking them against your walls drawing out your pleasure as he removed his thumb from your clit.

“Rafi,” you moaned leaning back from him your hips rolling as much as they could.

“You know, I have heard that orgasms are great for hangovers,” Rafael grunted nibbling on your bottom lip.

“That is true,” you whimpered a little, one of your legs moving to curl around his waist as your hands scratched at his back when his thumb pressed down on your clit rubbing it in circular movements again. “Ah, fuck!” tears started to form in your eyes as the pleasure built.

“That’s it, Chica,” Rafael encouraged. “Cum for me baby. You can do it, be a good girl and cum on my fingers.” Your walls clenched as your orgasm hit you, clamping down on his fingers. Your hips twitched as you clutched at Rafael tightly as you let your high run through you.

“Rafi,” you whined as his fingers continued to stroke you. He pressed a kiss to your lips, his tongue swiping into your mouth.

“Hm, fuck I love feeling you cum on my fingers,” Rafael whispered against your lips, slowly pulling his fingers out. He made sure your eyes were focused and on him when he put them in his mouth and sucked the wetness that clung to them. “Fuck you taste so good.”

“Come here,” you dragged him back to your lips, tongue licking into his mouth tasting yourself on his tongue as they twined together. “Fuck Rafi. You’re a menace.”

“Pay back,” he murmured before tugging your bottom lip between his, letting it go so he could kiss along your jaw and down your neck to make another mark.  “And I’ve been holding back since last night.”

You tilted your neck to the side allowing him more access to your neck as your other leg wrapped around his waist joining the other squeezing him tight. Your hands lightly running over the marks you left on his back, grinning a little at the shiver that ran through him.

“Rafi, I need you,” you whispered, running one of your hands up into his hair and tugging humming at the groan it pulled from him.

“Hmm, but I’m not done yet,” he pulled back lips pouting a little.

“You keep going at my neck like that and it’ll look like I was mauled,” you laughed, tapping his lips. “Plus, I need to get your cock in my mouth like now so…”

“Only if afterwards, I can take my time eating you out,” Rafael countered.

“You drive a hard bargain Mr Lawyer,” you rolled your eyes. “But I guess I can live with that.”

Rafael helped you down off the counter, using that as an opportunity to squeeze your arse and thighs again, sighing a little happily. His hands moved upwards, pulling the shirt up as he went, making a slight detour to lightly squeeze your breasts before throwing the shirt into the laundry basket. His hands trailed down your body again before you stepped away from him, backing towards the shower, reaching out blindly to turn it on.

“Boxers off mister,” you pointed. “Then you can get back to copping a feel.”

“A little hard to cop a feel while you’re on your knees,” he complained. “Why don’t you help me take my boxers off and I can cop a feel.”

“Always a lawyer,” you chuckled stepping towards him, before grinning cheekily and backing towards the shower again and crooking a finger at him. “Come on bub, boxers off or you won’t get to take your time eating me out.”

“I should hire you as my second chair,” he muttered as he pushed down his boxers before joining you under you under the warm spray of the shower. “Let you turn those amazingly, annoying negotiation skills on the defence. I’ll never have to go to trial again.”

“I don’t think that’ll happen,” you warned him.

“Oh, I don’t know, you got Liv to drink a shot by looking at her,” he shrugged. “I think you could get Buchan to agree to a deal.”

“Buchan…oh that big fella who is an absolute piece of shit?” you asked turning Rafael around so he was under the spray.

“That’s the one,” he nodded, hands pushing your hair away from your face, before they started stroking down your back. “Chica!” he whined as you dropped to your knees taking away his ability to touch you anywhere other than your head.

“I’m about to suck your cock and you’re whining?” you raised an eyebrow at him. “Got to say, I don’t think there are many men out there that would complain about getting their dick sucked.”

“That’s because those men are idiots and don’t know how to appreciate a gorgeous woman in-front of them,” he defended himself. “And dios do I appreciate you, with your-.”

You ignored his statements as you leaned closer to press a kiss to the head of his dick, causing him to cut off his statement with a curse. You looked up at him, grinning as you pressed kisses along the length of his cock, before licking up along the vein before you took it into your mouth. Swallowing around it as you took it down all the way to the root. Rafael wasn’t the only one who learnt how to play your body. Your hands held onto his thighs for balance as you moved up and down, swirling your tongue around the head, dipping into the slit before you swallowed it back down. This time only taking a small part each time you went down.

“Fuck,” Rafael moaned. “You’re so good with your mouth Chica.” Tangling one of his hands into your hair he tugged on it as you moved, his hips lightly thrusting to match your movements. “That’s it, you’re taking me so well.” Pulling all the way off, you smirked up at him as you trailed kisses along his length again.

“Bet you’re glad I talked you into this, huh?” you asked him as you pressed a kiss to his balls, quickly licking them before moving suck on his tip again, tasting some of the precum that was dripping from it.

“Hm, I think I would prefer this if I could be eating you out at the same time,” he mused.

“You’re impossible,” you sighed, before going back to sucking his dick.

One of your hands reaching to gently squeeze his balls, before you gently reached behind to stroke at the skin there. Rafael slumped against the wall the water hitting his chest and falling down to you, his eyes watching you burned with a hunger that he knew would never been fully satisfied.  His hand continued to tug on your wet hair, encouraging you to take him all the way down again and hold him in your throat, swallowing around his thick length.

“Carino, look at you,” his whispered in awe, his other hand stroking along your cheek before rubbing along your bottom lip, his thumb pushing in a little beside his cock before retreating. “Fuck you look gorgeous with your mouth so full.”

Your body warmed at the words coming from his mouth. You hadn’t really heard him dirty talk before, it was doing things to you. Your pussy was throbbing in need, suddenly you wished this was happening in a bed so you could feel his tongue inside you. Although, if that was happening you wouldn’t be seeing this side of him. You swallowed once more around him before pulling off so just his tip was inside your mouth.

“Fuck, gorgeous I am close,” he told you, pulling your hair a little rougher. “You going to swallow for me?”

You whimpered in response, focusing on his slit as you moved your hand back more, lightly rubbing it over his hole. The first time you did it was a slight accident but when you noticed how Rafael reacted you made sure to do it more often. You even thought about brining up an idea you had been having for a while but you weren’t really sure how to go about it. But for now, it was a good way to get him even more turned on as he got closer to finishing.

“Ah shit, close,” he whimpered, hips thrusting a little more as he got close. You hummed around his cock before you felt his orgasm fill your mouth, you moaned at the taste as you swallowed it down. Licking at the head as you pulled off to catch any stray drops.

“Not to copy you, babe but, fuck you taste good,” you stated pressing one last kiss on the head of his cock before an idea hit you. You ignored the way he tugged on your hair to try and get you to stand up instead you started kissing along the top of his right thigh. Biting at the skin, sucking on it to leave a mark, as you moved along it to his hip bone.

“And you’re a menace,” he moaned. “Come on stand up, please.”

“Aw, you’re begging?” you asked teasingly as you marked up his hip bone and then left a path of kisses along his stomach to his other hip bone to leave more markings. “And at least these can be hidden.”

“You like my markings,” he pointed out finally managing to get you to stand up as he pressed lightly against one of the markings on your neck.

“Not as much as you do,” you said stroking your hands up his stomach to wrap around his shoulders. Rafael grumbled a little as his hands found their way to your arse again, the grumbles turning to happy little hums. “You’re an easy man to please, you know that?”

“Hm, maybe,” he shrugged. “But it’s not like it could be used against me.”

“Really?” you asked as you attempted to step out of the shower but his hands tightened their grip on you tugging you against him under the stream. “Well, that’s rude.”

“Aw, don’t you like that I can hold you against me?”

“You know I enjoy how strong you are,” you leaned up to kiss him. “Just like I know how much you enjoy my arse, my thighs and my pussy.”

[writting-stuff-sometimes]

Fake it till you make it - Charles x fem reader

AN: After all the posts about Charles and A from this weekend, I got this idea. Honestly, I just care about that situation because I'm nosey but don't have any real interest in it, just wanted to write this idea that popped into my head. I have no idea how tennis and sponsorships work, clearly. I lost the first draft which I liked better so I might edit this one if I remember details I missed.

Warnings: Mean social media, a bad word here and there.

Synopsis: Y/n is a talented tennis player, but has a reputation of being a party animal and that scares sponsors away, so if she wants to attend Wimbledon she's going to have to fake a relationship with a recently single golden boy.

____________________________________

"You guys need to stop the bullshit and make this shit work" You always thought of this situation as a stupid game, but seeing Loraine's forehead vein about to burst reminded you that there was a lot on the line.

"But..." Charles was about to say something, from the redness on his face you knew he was as mad as the PR agent scolding you.

"No buts Charles, this is something to help you both, you knew what you were signing in to and you agreed to do this, we have 8 more months and we need this to work, so after today all I'm asking is for you to do what you're requested and stop being childish, agreed?"

You wanted to say no, maybe Charles had agreed to do this damn PR game but you were forced into it and found it stupid and insulting from your team to think that you needed to fake a relationship with some posh "athlete" to improve your image.

"I'm sorry Lor, but this is useless, we have nothing in common, ok? He drives in circles, how am I supposed to show interest in something I don't give two shits about?"

"Well, you're going to have to find a way if you want Puma to sponsor you, they're very concerned about the number of pictures of you partying and fooling around with guys all over the internet"

"They're my friends and I'm 25, they should care about what I do inside the court and not in my free time"

"And I wish I could spend the rest of my days enjoying the sun on a Spanish beach drinking margaritas but we can't all have what we want, can we?"

You were about to speak again when your "boyfriend" stood up swearing under his breath.

"Fine, whatever" he said before slamming the conference room door behind him.

Loraine let herself fall on the chair in front of you holding the bridge of her nose, it had been a long day and she was sick of it.

"Please, y/n, I wish I didn't have to do this either, but if you want to attend Wimbledon next year you're going to have to do this" She had been your pr agent for a little over a year now, and you had become friends, but this situation was idiotic.

"I just don't get it, why we couldn't do it with one of my friends? It would've been easier, at least they care about me, this guy couldn't care less, yesterday when we rode together to the track he said two words to me, "the seatbelt" and then complete silence the whole fucking ride"

"Yeah, well, the day he tried to invite you to train together you rejected him saying you were a real athlete and you didn't need him to get in the way of actual training"

You bit your cheek at the memory, in your defense, you were pretty hungover that morning and couldn't be bothered with this pr shit.

"Please?" Loraine looked at you with pleading eyes.

"Ugh, I'll try but I'm still not ok with this"

"I know, it's just until Wimbledon, you win that and this is all done"

"I don't like you right now" You stood up and walked to Charle's driver's room.

"Why should I be suffering when I'm not the one behaving like a toddler in a sugar rush?" Charles's voice made you stop as you were about to knock on his door.

"They want you to focus on your performance after the breakup"

"And me dating some brat is going to help? We need better strategies and upgrades"

"I know, and that's the team's job, but right now we just need you to focus on driving and try to convince the media that you're happily in love"

"It's going to be easier to win a fucking race in a tractor than look in love with her"

You weren't attracted to him and had no interest in having an actual relationship with the driver but his words felt like a cold punch to your chest, you couldn't be that bad, could you? You didn't want to hear any more of his rant and knocked on his door taking a deep breath trying to pretend you hadn't heard a thing.

"Come in" his dry voice made your skin crawl.

"Hi, can we talk?" His features softened, he feared you had heard him.

"I'll meet you in the garage" Andrea stood up and gave you a smile when he walked past you.

"Please" Charles stood up signaling for you to take a seat on the small sofa he had been sitting on.

"I think there's no way out of this"

"Seems like it" He leaned against the door in front of you.

"Look, I can't promise I won't say mean things, that's kind of my thing, but I will try to be nicer so we can make this work, ok?"

"I know I haven't been the best either and I'm so sorry about my behavior yesterday, I will try to do my best too"

"Sounds like a plan" You tried to give him an honest smile that probably looked more creepy than friendly but you were trying.

From that day on you two kept your word, you started easy and training seemed to be the one thing you had in common. But your gym selfies with Charles "accidentally" in the back didn't seem to convince the media your relationship was real, so you took it up a notch and started having date nights, he took you to his favorite restaurants in Monaco and the different cities during the GP's, and you tried to teach him how to cook, always uploading "candid" pics where your stuff and his were visible in the back this new plan seemed to be working little by little.

It was "date night" at your place and you were sitting on your couch scrolling through TikTok waiting on Charles when another "Charles and Y/n" edit popped up, you would usually scroll past them since you had no interest in what people had to say, if Loraine was happy it meant everything was good, but for some reason you let it play, photos of you and him musicalized with some taylor swift song playing in the back, they were mostly pictures of the beginning of the "relationship", you walking a couple steps away from him, sitting all alone inside the garage or the Ferrari hospitality and some others of you and Charles with a sour face on the way in and out the track, this pictures where surrounded by mean texts, and as if it wasn't enough, you clicked on the comments, they were even worse than the one lines, half of them claiming this was fake, the other half saying how ugly, boring, tacky and unworthy of him you seemed to be and juts a couple of them supporting the relationship.

A knock on the door startled you, you turned to look at the door as a pretty loaded Charles entered the apartment, you had given him a spare key to your place since him having to wait downstairs for you didn't seem very couple-like.

"Hi! Are you ready for the best fake date...what's wrong?" he asked worried when he saw the pained look on your face.

"Um, nothing, hi, you're early" He left the grocery bags on the kitchen counter and walked towards the sofa.

"What happened?" he asked steadily.

"Nothing, I'm fine"

"Let me see" he placed his hand in front of you and you immediately understood what he meant.

"Charles..."

"Please" If you had learned something from him this last couple of months was that he was stubborn as fuck and fighting him was pointless, so you ended up unlocking your phone and passing it to him. He looked at the screen and immediately a disgusted look covered his face.

"Why are you watching this?"

"I don't know, I usually don't but... I don't know"

"You know they're just talking out of anger and jealousy, right?"

"Well, you were on their side a couple of months ago, remember?"

"I've apologized about that, I was a dick"

"I know, and I know it's dumb that stupid comments affect me that much, I might be hormonal or something"

"Y/n, look" He threw the phone to the side and squatted in front of you taking your hands in his "This might be a fake relationship but I do care about you, and I don't want you to ever feel bad about what people say online, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this work, but you need to promise me that you won't let this kind of people get to you, I won't keep with this if what my fans say hurts you, it's not worth it."

You felt your eyes start watering and you swallowed the knot that had formed in your throat before answering him.

"Ok, I promise" you said in a low whisper.

"Good" He let go of your hands, he stood up pulling you up with him to hug you hard against his chest. "Don't let them hurt you" he said against your hair and then kissed your forehead. "Let's go, we have pasta to make"

He pulled you to the kitchen and started arranging all the ingredients.

"Instagram time" he said as he set his phone against a vase and took a picture of you for his social media.

CharlesLeclerc and Y/Naccount You are the best thing that's ever been mine. #datenight #imagreatchef #pastacrocante

LeclercLover I still don't buy his, worst PR stunt ever

16LoverCha I knew he was a Swifty!!!

CharlesandY/nluv Stop being jealous bitches and let them be happy.

ForzafFerrari I'm sorry but she seems dull and boring, what are you doing with her Baby?

You knew this post would let all hell loose for several hours so you turned off your phones and enjoyed the night together,

"It's getting late and we have an early flight tomorrow" he said taking the last sip of wine from his glass and picking up your empty plates.

"You know you can stay, right?"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, plus, I got new sheets for the guest room"

"Ooohh, fancy"

You helped him with the dishes and then went to show him his room, he had never stayed the night, normally he would sneak out of your apartment and you would do the same when you went to his, but after the amazing night you have had, him staying seemed like a good way to finish it off.

"Here, need anything else?" You said leaving a towel on the bed.

"All good"

"Thanks" you hugged him and he hugged you back.

"No problem, don't ever let them make you feel bad"

"I won't" He kissed your head and you went to your room.

The next day you landed in Suzuka and it felt as if you had shifted realities, the fans were being nicer and more respectful, and some of them even brought gifts for you, maybe the plan was finally working.

The remaining months went by easily, and you and Charles developed a nice friendship.

"How do you feel?" Charles asked from the little bench inside your locker room.

"I'm shitting myself" Your statement made him laugh, he had become a big fan of your bluntness.

"You're going to be amazing, I know" he stood up and hugged you.

"Hello, am I interrupting?" Pierre peeked through the door, a white rose in his hand.

"Baby! you made it" You rushed to the door and hugged the French driver.

"Of course love, how could I miss it" He handed you the rose and took your face to kiss your lips softly.

"Hey! She's still my girlfriend!"

"Sorry mate, couldn't help it"

A month or two after the scolding session with Loraine you started hanging out with Charle's friends and he started hanging out with yours, one of those days you met his best friend Pierre, and you hit it off right away, it was crazy how perfect you were for each other. You knew it was going to be madness the moment you broke it off with Charles and announced your relationship with Pierre, but you couldn't care less, by then you would have had win Wimbledon and shown how talented you were, so who cares what the media and the fans thought.

"Y/n, you have one minute" your trainer said from outside the locker room.

"You can do it" Pierre kissed you softly

"Thanks, baby" You kissed his nose and turned to look at Charles

"Go kick some ass" he hugged you and kissed your hair.

"Thanks, boyfriend,. See you on the other side" You took your bag and rushed to the court, ready to be done with all this nonsense.

As always, feedback it's appreciated, and let me know if you want to be added to the tag list :)

Tag List: @wtrmlnsgr94, @ricsaigaslec

[ginnyw-potter-archive]

Fan Fic Humble Brag Tag

Sometimes we love something we wrote so much we want to knock on every door spreading the good word of our little story. But sometimes we fear being seen as rude or too self promoting. Here is your chance to do a bit of self promo and bragging without fear because some asked you too.

Answer the questions and then tag five writers who you think deserve to brag about their work Tagged by @thelighthousestale!!

1.) the funniest bit of dialogue you wrote

I write a lot of banter so I find it difficult to choose, but I wrote this earlier this week and really wanted to show it to someone (I'll leave you to guess what fic this is for)

Ginny walked into their room at night. “We are having sex.” Harry looked down in mock-surprise. “Are we? You should have told me, I would have bothered to undress.”

2.) A story you wrote that made you cry

This is a really low bar because I cry really easily I'd choose This is me trying, I suppose

3.) A story that still makes you laugh every time you reread it or think about it

A hungover Harry in her bed. I like to laugh at Harry's despair meeting Ginny's carpet face-to-fabric.

4.) Best moment of canon compliant characterization

I have taken a lot of different approaches to writing Hinny's post-battle reconciliation and I think the latest attempt comes closest. I think it showed a good mix of their maturity, their grief and their connection.

Snippet (In the arms of the boy she loved):

They walked aimlessly through the aisles for a while. When Ginny let go of his hand, he stopped and looked at her. She leaned against the bookcase and looked up, breathing deeply. He stepped forward and rested his forehead against hers, stroking her cheek. Her hands reached out, nearly trembling and clutched onto the sides of his shirt. He kissed her softly. As soon as he leaned away, her lips followed him. She refused to disconnect from him and kissed him again. He did not object, he needed her as badly as she needed him. His whole body seemed to hum from her touch, revelling in the comfort of her proximity. He held onto her, telling her silently he was staying right there with her. “Breathe,” he told her, locking eyes with her. She shook her head. “I’m trying.” “I know.” He brushed her hair out of her face with his hand. “I’m right here.”

5.) Something you wrote in a fic you secretly (or not so secretly) think as canon

I think they went for a 4th child because the house was quiet without James and ended up with twins, Ruby and Remy.

6.) The most romantic bit you’ve written

There is a part in Not your Captain where Harry disappears. Ginny turns her ship around and sails back out to sea in the hopes of rescuing him from certain death. I think that's pretty romantic.

7.) A fic you wrote that everyone sleeps on, but you know, is excellent

I don't think this was slept on, but That has a ring to it had significantly fewer interactions than Experimentally in Love. I am not sure if it was the trope that spoke less to people, I just felt there was a difference for sure.

8.) Wow us with an excellent excerpt For Spilt Blood

“Up! Up!” Potter’s Aunt Petunia’s voice shrilly roused them from sleep as she barged into the bedroom. Ginny jumped away from her, towards Mr Potter. He pulled on her arm, pulling her out of his aunt’s way. They stood against the wall, breathing heavily from their sudden awakening. Petunia jerked back the sheets with a menacing look and stared at the spot of blood. Ginny’s heart was pounding. Petunia walked up to her, craning her long neck. “Did it hurt, girl?” “I am married,” she said boldly, staring up at the woman. “You will address me as such.” The slap echoed through the room and her cheek stung immediately. Ginny leapt forward at Petunia, who screamed with arms flailing as she tried to escape. Ginny grabbed onto her arm and pulled, trying to get a better hold. Mr Potter’s arm swooped around her and pulled her back against him and away from his aunt. She had half a mind to bite him in the arm to free herself but changed her mind at the last moment. She tried to escape but he held onto her tighter. Petunia’s expression turned vicious, and though the sting of Ginny’s cheek was quickly fading, she remembered her husband's back, and wondered if this woman was responsible. Ginny was suddenly glad to retreat. She ducked out of his hold, and he pushed her behind him, both holding her back and protecting her from his aunt. “No!” he bellowed, his arms stretched out to keep the two women apart. “You got what you want, now get out of my house!”

9.) Five words to describe your writing

Banter, light-hearted, romantic, direct, optimistic

10.) The fic you are most proud of

Wreck My Plans, I don't think this is my best writing, but I think it really helped me find a slightly different approach to writing and pacing and I think that's why it was such a significant fic to me.

Tagging: @sophie-hatter-jenkins, @starlingflight, @four2andnew, @charmsandtealeaves and @takearisk-x

[amberlynnmurdock]

Blind Faith

Chapter 3: Temperance 

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Chapter Summary: You get private self-defense lessons from the Devil of Hell's Kitchen, who you call Mike now.

A/N: The POV switches a bit frequently in this chapter, between Matt and the reader. I tried to make it as clear as possible. Basically, if you see Matt's name when he's with the reader, it's from his POV. But if it's just described as "he" then it's the Reader's POV. Thanks to all for the kudos you've left on this so far <3 this fic is in its beginning stages but I am really excited to see it through. Enjoy! P.S. This entire series takes place after Season 3 of Daredevil, but Matt kept the black suit.

Chapter 2 here

Hell’s Kitchen

8:00 AM

You hated mornings.

You specifically hated mornings when you were hungover. Your phone alarm woke you up obnoxiously. Groaning, you slammed your finger on the button to shut it off, worried it might wake your friends.

The bright 8 AM sky of Hell’s Kitchen shone directly in your face. No amount of blankets covering your eyes could keep the darkness inside, and you forced yourself to wake up knowing your sleep was well over. You stretched in bed and reached for your phone again on your bedside table.

You scrolled through your notifications.

The Daily Bulletin posted a new article about new restaurants coming to Hell’s Kitchen this summer. You scrolled through mindlessly as you tried to stay awake. You had a few emails from professors, wishing you a happy graduation and good luck to prospective law students. You remembered your job searching app and that you had one new message from one of the firms you applied to.

Nelson and Murdock: 1 view, 1 new message.

You clicked open the message:

Hi __,

Thank you so much for applying to be our new legal assistant. Of all the applications we received, your resume stood out the most to us at Nelson & Murdock. We’d love to have you come in for an interview next week. Does Thursday at 4:00 PM work? We look forward to seeing you.

Sincerely,

Karen Page

Office Manager at Nelson & Murdock

You couldn’t help but smile at Ms. Page’s message. Finally! I get to have some experience working in the legal field before applying for Columbia Law.

You quickly typed out your message:

Dear Ms. Page,

Thank you so much for reaching out! Of course, I would love to come in for an interview. Thursday at 4:00 PM is perfect. Thanks so much for your consideration.

Regards,

___

You added the interview to your calendar and immediately texted your friends’ group chat the exciting news.

Hell’s Kitchen

8:30 PM

You wanted to go out with your friends, but you had other plans for tonight.

“I can’t believe __ is skipping out on tonight!” Hannah exclaimed as she was getting ready in the bathroom. You looked up from the LSAT book in your lap from the couch and mustered up the most convincing shrug.

“If I want to be a successful lawyer, I’ve got to get into law school first. Columbia, no less. That means studying for this Godforsaken test,” you held up the textbook in your hand and clumsily dropped it in your lap.

“Oh, you’ve got the whole summer to study,” Emily pried, dabbing her lipstick on.

“Better start now, then,” you retorted. The truth was, you were absolutely not going to get any studying done tonight. But it was unlike you to decline a night out with your friends, so you used the LSAT as your excuse. You had other plans… of course, if your savior decided to actually show. Who knows? Maybe vigilantes also played games like every guy you’ve ever met at NYU.

“Well, we’ll miss you,” Bella said as she walked out of her room. You smiled at her.

“The bright side is if you guys need me to pick you up, I’ll be sober to do so!” You tried to reason with them.

“True, though we may crash at Ben’s place. Depends how the night goes,” Hannah explained. You nodded, thinking that might be preferable, but you didn’t say so.

You waited patiently, hiding behind your textbook for your friends to leave for the night. Luckily, they decided to get dinner before going out. You would’ve been jealous had you actually needed to study, but the thought of seeing your savior was too exciting to be jealous about anything else.

As soon as they locked the door, you hopped up from the couch and changed out of your pajamas and into a relaxing outfit of leggings, a sports bra, and a hoodie.

It was 9:30—only thirty minutes until your secret meeting with the man in the mask on the rooftop of your apartment building.

Office of Nelson & Murdock

Earlier that day

“Okay, who’s ready to hit up Josie’s tonight?! Karen, Matt?” Foggy Nelson cheered as he slammed his hands on the conference table. Karen Page laughed in her seat as she leaned back in her chair. Her strawberry blonde hair was pushed to one side of her neck.

Matt Murdock suppressed a smile and paused the case file he was just listening to on his Orbit reader.

“I might be inclined,” Karen thought, leaning forward on her desk. “It would be nice to have a drink after coming in to work on a Saturday…”

“Oooh, yeah,” Foggy squinted his face, “sorry about that. I mean, it’s a good thing we’re getting a lot of clients but at the same time, we don’t have enough people here to talk to all of them,” Foggy explained. And then, he remembered something. “Hey, did that applicant ever reply to your message?”

“Oh!” Karen pointed a finger, “Let me check. Ahh, okay! Yes, wow, she did. Uhh, so she’ll be coming in for an interview next Thursday. I just calendared it.”

“Yes!” Foggy put his hands into fists. “Karen, I trust your judgment, unless you want Matt or I to sit in on the interview.”

“Either works. Whoever’s available, I guess,” Karen nodded.

“Cool. So, Josie’s tonight? Matt?”

Matt shook his head.

“I’ve got plans,” he simply said, a smirk on his face. Foggy rolled his eyes.

“Come on, man,” Foggy begged, “you can’t take one night off?”

“I—I can’t,” Matt answered, “I promise next time I’ll join you guys. But not tonight.”

Karen sighed. Matt knew neither of them was pleased with his nighttime activities as they called it, but they’d be happy to know that wasn’t entirely what he was up to tonight—then again, he’s not sure they’d be happy to hear what else he had planned. That was a secret he wouldn’t tell.

“Just let us know if you’ll need us, okay?” Karen asked. Matt nodded.

“Of course,” he said.

“Alright well, guess we’ll hit up Marci to join us,” Foggy suggested.

“Matt, we trust you’ll be fine.”

“I’ll be fine,” he reassured them.

“Well then, I’m going to get a head start on Josie’s martinis. Karen, let’s get outta here.”

Hell’s Kitchen

10:00 PM

You stood by the edge of the rooftop, looking down at the people who walked the streets. You never came up here at all. Sometimes, you and your friends would take pictures up here, but that was it. Being up here alone felt different—it felt like a hideaway. There you were, watching as stores began to close, and bars began to open up. You could see the lights from Times Square in the distance. You shivered when a cool breeze passed.

And then you were startled by something—a thud, somewhere around the back of the rooftop access. You turned around in defense mode, waiting to confirm the identity of what the noise was.

Then, he appeared. Out of the black, into the soft light that reflected from midtown. His black shirt hugged him so tightly, you could see the outline of his muscles on his chest, his abs… his arms. His face was of course covered by the mask, but you saw his lips and the light stubble he had. His hands were wrapped in rope, like a boxer's. He wore black pants and boots to match.

“I wasn’t sure if you would come,” you decided to speak first as you walked toward him. You stopped after a few feet. The man in the mask walked toward the edge of the roof and sat on the edge, facing you.

“I keep my promises,” he replied. “It’s the Catholicism.”

You raised your eyebrows in surprise, “you’re Catholic? And you act outside of the law? Seems like a subjective way of justifying things.”

“I don’t think about it too much,” he responded with a shrug. You eyed him suspiciously.

“So, before we begin,” you cleared your throat to keep the mood light, but truthfully he was making you nervous, for some reason. He had a smirk on his face you wanted to wipe off. “Why did you agree to come here and teach me how to defend myself?”

He was quiet for a few moments.

“You had a convincing argument, from what I remember,” he said.

“That can’t be enough to come out of your way and onto the rooftop of my apartment. Surely, you have more important things to do. So, why did you come? And don’t say it’s because of religion, because that’s bullshit.”

“Maybe I wanted to,” he returned. Your heart pounded when he said this. You were thankful it was dark out, or else he might’ve seen your blush. “And you know, it’s important you know how to defend yourself.”

“Hmm,” was all you said. You pressed your lips together. “Do you give all the girls you’ve saved before private self-defense lessons?”

He laughed. You liked how his laugh sounded.

“You’re my first student,” he said in a low voice.

“So, what should I call you? In my head, I’ve been calling you my savior.”

He smiled, then he got a bit serious.

“Call me Mike,” Mike said.

“Well then, Mike,” you walked closer to him so you were no more than a foot away. You crossed your arms and tilted your head. “I’m a quick learner.”

Mike pushed himself off from where he leaned, so the space between you shrunk even more.

“I don’t doubt that.”

~~~

“Show me what you’d do if someone were to approach you in front of you,” Mike ordered, placing his hands on his hips. You squinted your eyes at him, thinking.

“I’d try to do this,” you began as Mike pretended to “attack” you. You took your arms and tried to hit him away, but he grabbed you by your forearms and steadied you from losing your balance.

“That’s how they can get a hold on you, as I do now,” Mike explained, with a sly grin on his face. “Instead, you want to make sure you move both your arms to one side and do a swiping motion, so they can’t grab you. Try again.”

He got back into position as you did. You braced yourself as he came to you, holding up his arms. You did exactly what he said before, and moved your arms in a swiping motion, gently hitting his arms away.

“Don’t be afraid to hurt me when we do this. I want you to fully grasp how you’d handle yourself, God forbid, you ever had to,” Mike stated. “One more time.”

You repeated your stance as before, and this time, you aggressively swiped his arms away, feeling your forearm clash against his.

“Good girl,” he smiled in satisfaction. Your heart was pounding again in your chest. You weren’t sure if it was from his comment, or that self-defense training was like a workout. You huffed as you caught your breath.

“And what if they anticipate that? What next?” You asked, genuinely curious. Mike thought for a moment before answering.

“Then you have to use your legs,” he replied. “Let’s try that. Give me your arms,” he held up his hands. You raised your arms, and like slow motion, he wrapped his fingers around you, pulling you closer to him. You gasped at the contact. The tip of your nose barely touched his.

“Listen carefully,” he said in a low voice. “I’ve got your arms. You’re going to want to slip from under, using your whole weight.”

You nodded your head, understanding him. His grip on your arms tightened. You took a deep breath and then plunged, slipping out of his grasp.

“Now stop!” He halted. “Raise your right leg and try to kick my shoulder.”

“I don’t know if I can stretch that much,” you stressed.

“You can. This is life or death. Just try it,” he urged you.

You raised and kicked your right leg, hitting his shoulder and using the weight to push him away. He nodded and clapped his hands.

“Exactly that,” Mike smiled.

“I need a water,” you uttered, “I don’t know how you do this every night. Do you need a water?”

“I could use a water,” Mike answered.

“Okay, I’ll be right back.”

Trotting down the rooftop access stairs, you hurried for two water bottles from the fridge. You glanced at the clock—11:30 PM. Sheesh. Time flies when you’re learning self-defense.

Upon entering the roof again, you were confused to not find Mike where you left him. You scanned the roof, looking for him. Did he leave?

Suddenly, a dark figure came charging at you. You dropped the water bottles and immediately went into defense mode, realizing it was Mike. You thought fast and swiped his arms immediately, swaying him to the side.

“That was a test,” Mike said out of breath.

“Jesus!” You exclaimed, “You scared me!”

“That’s how fast an attacker will be. Out of nowhere, and just like that,” Mike explained.

You shook your head, picking up the water bottles from where you dropped them. You handed one to Mike.

“Let’s take a break, shall we?”

~~~

Matt contemplated coming tonight.

There was something wrong about why he chose to come to you, to fulfill his promise. When he started his activities, he told himself he’d never get attached to the people he saved—never get emotionally involved. He would strictly leave it to business: stop the criminals, and save the innocent person. But for some reason, with you, he couldn’t let go.

The second time he saved you was a complete accident…fate, as you had said. He was in a completely different part of town, and you so happened to be in the same area. He remembers hearing your voice, dignified, yelling at that punk kid to leave that innocent girl alone. He recognized your voice immediately. Matt’s hearing was so sensitive, even after hearing someone’s voice once, he could pick it out in an entire crowd. He liked that you talked to him; that you weren’t afraid of him in his suit.

And still, he wasn’t sure if coming tonight was a good idea. Because he knows he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from coming again.

And now, here was, on your rooftop, sharing a bottle of water with you. He sat against the wall, knees pulled up. You sat next to him with your legs in front of you.

“Don’t you ever get tired?” You suddenly asked in a soft voice. Matt tilted his head to listen to your body. You were calm now. You weren’t when he first showed up. Your heart was beating steady. She feels safe. She is safe. He could smell a lingering scent of your perfume on your skin. It smelled like black cherry and vanilla.

“Of what?” Matt asked in return.

“You know,” you shrugged, “expecting to be everyone’s savior.”

Matt shook his head, “not really. It’s easy to not get tired when you’ve accepted this as your purpose.”

“It’s your purpose, to bear the burden of other people’s situations?”

Matt laughed, despite himself. “Maybe.”

“Well, if you ever need someone to share that burden with—I’m right here,” you told him. “Even though I don’t actually know who you are.”

He smiled a little. “It’s better that way.”

“Is it?” You questioned. “I mean, you could literally be anyone. You might be one of my professors and I might not even know it. Actually, I’d hate that. I take it back,” you shook your head. Matt laughed again.

“I promise I’m not one of your professors.”

“Phew,” you said. “Well, who are you?”

“A New Yorker, like you.”

“I guess that counts,” you smiled. “How old are you?”

“Oh, come on,” Matt sighed.

“What? These are valid questions. I won’t figure out who you are, but I can know basic information. Can I guess? You’re definitely older than me.”

Another reason why this felt wrong. He wasn’t that much older than you—about seven years.

“I’m not that old,” Matt argued. You laughed.

“I didn’t say you were, Mike.”

“Let’s try another defense technique,” Matt said, changing the subject. He stood up from sitting and held out his hand for you. You grabbed it and he pulled you up. He let his hand linger in your touch before he let go again.

“Okay,” he said, “turn around.”

“What?”

“Turn around,” Matt repeated. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” you answered. Matt listened to you closely. You weren’t lying. You turned around.

“Do you mind if I…get close?”

It was your turn to pause. “No.”

“Okay,” Matt took a deep breath. He listened to you closely again, and using his senses, he took you in. He knew your hair was down. He slowly raised his hand and moved your hair to one side, revealing a part of your neck. He felt your goosebumps rise at his touch. You shivered. Matt pretended not to notice. He placed both his hands on either side of your waist, bringing you snug against him, so your back was against his chest. You felt warm against him, and delicate. He slid his arms underneath yours so he rested at your collarbone. He was completely holding you against him now.

“You okay?” He whispered in your ear. You took a shaky breath.

“Yeah,” you said in a small voice.

“Someone could come up from behind you, and grab you like this,” he held you tighter for emphasis. “Similar to before if they got hold of your arms, you have to slide out from underneath. And kick back, too.”

“Okay,” you said in understanding. “Let me try.”

Matt anticipated your moves. He felt your muscles tense as you braced yourself to slide down. And you did, quickly. You exited his restraint, and he didn’t feel warm anymore.

“Good,” Matt said, “exactly.”

You caught your breath. “Can we do it again?”

Matt nodded, motioning for you to come to him.

You slid easily back against him, like putting on a glove. It was like your body melted against his, the way you sunk back into position. You rested your head in the crook of his neck, taking a deep breath.

Matt could feel every muscle you had relax when you did this. It was then he slipped his arms under you again, holding you tightly—but not in the way he instructed before, a different way. He held you tighter against him and touched his covered nose on your temple. He took a deep breath, and instantly, like inhaling a drug, you filled his senses to the max. Your fragrance was intoxicating. He listened to your heartbeat slowly pick up its pace until it was pounding against your chest. He heard you take your own deep breath, as you sunk even more into his body.

It took everything in him to practice self-restraint. He repeated Bible verses in his head, the longer he held you.

A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. Proverbs 25:28.

“Ready,” Matt whispered.

~~~

You slipped out of his grasp, and you were almost successful, but he held onto your right hand. Mike kept holding on, and suddenly, you were pulled right back into his grasp. This time, facing him, you collided flush against his chest.

He was breathing heavily, and God did you wish you could see his face underneath that mask. His mouth was slightly parted, and you were breathing heavily. You felt Mike’s strong arms snake around your waist, pulling you closer to him. His nose gently touched yours. You felt his hand run up the length of your spine before it rested on the back of your neck. And then, his lips were on yours.

The kiss… you felt his stubble tickle your face, but you didn’t care. His lips crashed into yours, which you accepted gracefully. His lips were soft, but his kiss was rough. Needy. Curious. It was intoxicating, being kissed like that. The closest thing to describing it was like a brand new day. It was like exploring a new universe, where only the two of you existed. Yeah, that’s what it felt like right now. You weren’t in New York City, on your rooftop anymore. It was you and him sharing this kiss, with no one else to see. In secret. His head tilted to the side to take more of you in. You breathed in sharply, desperate for more.

And then, he pulled back and rested his forehead against yours.

“Was that your plan all along?” You asked suspiciously.

“No,” Mike answered. “It wasn’t.”

“Good,” you said, “because that’d be messed up.”

Mike laughed.

“I fear we are way past messed up now, sweetheart.”

Hell’s Kitchen

1:00 AM

Your friends stumbled into the apartment. You were on the couch, LSAT textbook in your hand. You kept reading and re-reading the same paragraph over and over. Your mind kept replaying your moment with Mike, just an hour ago.

“There’s our girl,” Hannah walked in the living room, plopping on the couch next to you. Bella made a beeline for the fridge and Emily sat on the floor, turning the TV on.

“How’d studying go?” Hannah asked drunkenly.

You sighed and closed your textbook.

“Terrible,” you answered with a knowing smile, “I’m in deep trouble for this test.”

[a-hermit-pining]

Feels Like Sun ☀️

Pairing: Nanami x Reader

Genre: Romance college AU

Summary: So that night, in the quite library you and Nanami constructed the most perfect presentation with just your names on it. Revenge that was served in the 8 am tomorrow.

AN: Hit too close to home. Low-key proud of this. Unedited I'm impulsive sure me!

College of Business was a wild place to be. Hungover frat boys, stressed accountants, quirky marketing majors. All the trade came settled into that one building.

Maybe it wasn't that special to others but to you...to you it was special. It was where you met him. Nanami Kento.

It was a stupid group project with half of the team burnt out before the break. So were you but as try hard, you could not give up just yet. Somehow your meeting with him had been inevitable.

You had seen him before, around the campus, walking to classes. Emotionally constipated guy, the one who stood out because he was the only one walking without headphones or talking to someone. He just existed.

"So...we're doing this...just the two of us," you stare at the guy next to you. His eyes already focused on his laptop screen.

"Yes." He replied curtly. " I am not giving those morons any credit." His words made you grin. A petty bastard. You liked him very much.

So that night, in the quite library you and Kento constructed the most perfect presentation with just your names on it. Revenge that was served in the 8 am lecture next day.

So, it wasn't a shocker when your obnoxious ass started waving to him at every spotting. Walking with him to classes. Even joined him for the extra credit studies.

He was perfect block of muscle with highest concentration of etiquette in his every single pore. Better than any finance bro ever.

It was only a matter of time before you dragged your new 'friend' to the bars. And the man was a beast with cheap college beer. Beer pong? He's in. Filthy grinding on dance floor? You're there trying to stop an orgy. Beating off creep? Yeah, you dragged him out of the bars.

So, the next morning waking next to him wasn't unexpected. You just did not expect the stoic guy with passion of eros to switch to a blushing mess. Albeit a hungover blushing mess.

That is how Nanami became your boyfriend. The most unlikely pairing according to your salty girlfriends.

But beyond the noisy college life and never ending god forsaken group projects, he was so gentle. As if a world with just two of you existed in the small studio apartment that you rented together.

Cuddling during movie nights, self manicures every Fridays, meal prepping on weekends after a hungover morning was what life became next to him.

As if smiling became easier. Hugging him felt natural. Your life molded itself around him.

You both got internships together. Spent summers making coffee runs together and then making out in the Manager's office in secret.

You were in bliss. People around you kept their eyes to your fingers. Looking for the confirmation that the world sought for your love for each other. And maybe, you, yourself wanted it. He was the one. You knew it.

Your graduation picture with him hold you both smiling at each other. He smiled with you. He was happy.

Until it struck him. The work beyond college dragged your boyfriend. As if the monotony of the world tugged him to the past you knew very little of.

It became easier to overlook each other. To bottle your frustration, when you could see him struggle. You had to help him, you reasoned with yourself. You could make him happy right?

You tried so hard. You became your old self. Smiled brighter for him. Partied, held him, you tried too damn hard to fight the cold dread seeping in your heart.

But you knew you could not keep him. He was leaving and you no matter how much you wished, could not hold on to him.

With a heart of stone, you kissed him goodbye. Became an amicable ex who understood him. Maybe you were a fool all along. All those people who had once warned you of your differences now seem to be mocking your failure to save your love.

He was gone and so was your heart.

You dated others. Tried to offer your heart but you did not possess it any longer. Nanami Kento took it with him.

Your steps paused. Your keys dropped as you rushed to him. Bloodied and battered. Burnt on his side, he was back on your doorstep.

"Kento!" You pull him to your lap dialing the emergency to the best of your abilities with your trembling fingers.

And just like that he was back. Broken and scarred but next to you. You did not ask of what he endured. You just held him close now that he was back. Your heart was back and beating with him.

[callsignspark]

Mar[r]y Me | part four

pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Mariella “M&M” Vertucci (fem!OC)

summary: A love story told through friendship, laughter, and food.

series warnings: 18+ minors DNI, discussion of insecurities, difficult family relationships, discussions of food and alcohol use, an asshole man from Hinge, discussions of body image, conversations on what it’s like to be a fat woman trying to date in today’s society, suggestive language, warnings to be added as needed

word count: 6.6k

previous part | main masterlist

note: happy Friday! I am extremely excited about this part and I can't wait to hear everyone's thoughts on this chapter!! a big thanks to Jordan for all the yelling in the DMs over this one as I was writing it. and thank you for the love on three and 3.5!

part four - perfect post-beach meal

Ding Dong!

The doorbell echoes through the house, disturbing Mary, but not fully waking her.

Ding Dong!

Her left eye cracks open and immediately shuts, pulling the quilt over her pounding head to block the sunshine streaming through the blinds. I knew I would regret that fourth glass of wine last night.

Ding Dong!

The third ring makes her decide that whoever is at the door can go fuck themselves. Jehovah’s Witness or Girl Scout be damned. If it was important, her phone would be ringing.

Brrrrrring! Brrrrrring! 

The ringer volume alone makes her stomach churn, combined with the brightness of her screen as Danielle’s face flashes at her; it’s an all-out assault on her hungover existence. She questions every decision she’s made since turning eighteen.

Ding Dong!

“Please tell me this is an emergency.”

“Answer the door. Then chug some water and sling back a few Tylenol.”

The line clicks off.

Ding Dong!

“I should have partnered with Brett for chemistry. He was dumb as a box of rocks and couldn’t stop staring at my tits. But I think it would have been a better decision overall.” The doorbell goes off again, somehow sounding more aggressive. “Alright, I’m coming. I’m coming.”

Rolling out of bed and getting her robe on without dry heaving feels like an accomplishment and a half. Her trek to the front door takes an eternity, the previous night’s wreckage strewn through the house.

Her bra lays outside her bedroom door, in the same place she dropped it after her intoxicated brain decided it had to go.

The uncomfortable dress, the one Danielle had spent hours talking her into, is crumbled in the hallway. The zipper is probably broken, she thinks mournfully, remembering how she had struggled to get the restrictive piece of clothing off by herself.

Her heels are unceremoniously dumped next to the front door. What had started as a cute outfit decision had quickly turned into a nightmare accessory and almost resulted in a sprained ankle when the evening took a turn.

She’s glaring at the culprit of her current state - the empty wine bottle and a lone glass - when she catches sight of the time.

“Who the fuck is at my door at 8:30 in the morning.” She exclaims to an empty house.

Ding Dong!

She rips the door open, ready to yell at Reuben for interrupting her much-needed post-cry sleep but loses all of her steam when she comes face to face with Bradley.

“Wha-” She doesn’t even get a chance to finish her one-word question when a tiny body slams into her legs.

“Auntie Mary!” Annabeth disappears into her house before she can process what’s happening.

“Don’t worry! I got her!” Jake - where the fuck did he come from? - hustles past her, following the little girl. “Cute outfit, M&M.”

The exaggerated wink he sends her way reminds her of what she’s currently wearing, the realization washing over her head like a bucket of ice water.

Her bathrobe is covering her favorite silky nightdress.

And nothing else.

She pulls her robe together, tying the knot as tight as possible and clutching the top together with her fist. Her panic causes her to miss the longing look in Bradley’s eyes. His brain focusing on the width of her hips, the dip of her waist before traveling up and locking on the way her nipples press against the pink fabric.

The confusion and stress on her face snaps him out of it. He hands over her favorite drink from Starbucks - something he is very proud of himself for memorizing - and doesn’t say anything until she’s taken a sip.

“We’re babysitting today.” Her mouth opens, but nothing comes out except for a squeak. Bradley’s eyebrows shoot up, “Are you okay?”

Mary’s head drops and she groans, moving her hand from her robe to rub her forehead. He’s not sure what to do, slightly distracted by the cleavage that has appeared, when she turns and waves him into the house. He locks the door and follows her toward her room, slowing down as he takes in the trail of clothing leading down the hall.

He catches up to her in the bedroom, eyeing the messy, unmade bed. “Did we interrupt something?”

“What could you have interrupted?” She questions, taking some pills with a water bottle from her nightstand, following it up with a big gulp of her iced tea. “Why am I babysitting?”

“We’re babysitting. To give Reuben and Danielle a bit of a break. I’m not confident enough to try and watch the baby, but I know I can handle a preschooler.”

“How did I get pulled into this?”

“She knows you better, and frankly, trying to brave the bathroom situation seemed like too much for my first time. So I needed another adult, preferably a woman, preferably you.”

“And Jake is here because?”

“We’re giving Javy a break, too.” She snorts at his joke. “Get ready; we’re going to the beach! They sent us with snacks, sand toys, and enough sunscreen to cover the entire 7th fleet.”

“I need to shower and eat something.”

“Go ahead and shower; we’ve got time. I brought you a ham and cheese croissant.”

“I have some watermelon and baby carrots in the fridge. Can you pack those up and put them in the cooler while I get ready? The cooler is in my office.”

“On it.” He’s already moving toward the kitchen, throwing a thumbs up over his shoulder and forcing himself not to look back where he knows she’s undoing her bathrobe.

She’s brushing her teeth, feeling better after washing away the previous night’s disappointment, when she has the sudden realization that her clothes are still littering the floor. Mary hustles out of the ensuite and can feel her face start to burn when she sees the remnants of her outfit sitting on the dresser. She swallows her pride and walks into the kitchen, which she’s surprised to see has been cleaned. “Where’s Annie?”

“They’re outside, and she’s giving Jake a lesson on… something. He’s gotten smacked with her fairy wand about seven times so far, so she’s either cursing him or fixing him. Only time will tell.” He turns from where he’s washing a knife. “That baggie has your croissant. You ready to go?”

“Did you put my clothes in my room?” She blurts it out and immediately wants to hide in her room.

“Uhh, yeah.” He scratches the back of his neck, red blooming on his cheeks. “Sorry if that’s weird.”

“No! Not- I just-” She stutters over her words. “I wasn’t expecting it! It’s nice, but you didn’t have to do that. You also didn’t have to clean the kitchen. Thank you!”

“No problem; Danielle mentioned you went out with a friend last night, and you might be a bit hungover, so I figured I’d help some; besides, you only had like five things in the sink. It took no time.”

“Well, thank you.” A muffled shout comes from the yard, and Jake storms into the house with Annie tucked under his arm like a football.

“Okay, is it time to go yet? Annie Oakley and I are ready to dig in the sand! Race you to the front door!” He plops her on the floor and pretends to take off, watching as the little girl books it towards the door.

He shoves something at Mary’s chest. “We are leaving that fucking wand here. She keeps smacking me and telling me her spell isn’t working. That I’m still not “cute” like Bob. Fucking, Bob.”

“Jake!”

“Coming, munchkin! Hide that thing now!” As he jogs toward the front door, the hissed instruction breaks the other two.

“We should probably go before our children get into another fight.” Mary giggles at Bradley’s statement, grabbing her beach bag and food, her brain rotating the “our children” over and over in her mind.

“For you!” Annie shoves a seashell into Bradley’s hand.

“Oh, thank you! Look at how pretty this one is, Mary.” He shows off the tiny pink shell before putting it in his pocket.

“You’re growing quite the collection.” Mary mummers, smiling as she’s gifted a tiny lavender shell. The morning had been filled with splashing in the waves and building sandcastles that did not want to stay up, and then Annie wanted to look for seashells.

“So are you.” He puts the shell in his other pocket, the one holding everything Annie has handed Mary. “Jake is going to be so jealous.”

The two adults pause their meandering to look back at their blanket, where Jake volunteered to stay and watch their stuff. Apparently, he’s made a friend while waiting for the other Daggers to arrive.

Mary runs her eyes over the woman flirting with Jake. Her body is encased in a red string bikini that perfectly fits her thin, tanned figure. She suddenly feels very secure in her decision to keep her coverup dress on.

“Hey, how was New York? How’s your family? I feel like I haven’t seen you since the Secret Santa party.” She turns her attention back to Rooster, who has crouched down to assist in the search for more shells. “This one is for mommy? Okay.”

“Christmas was good; family is fine. Everyone was their usual selves, so nothing new there. Although I’m 74% sure my favorite cousin is pregnant again, and no one else has figured it out yet. So, now it’s just a matter of waiting for a Facebook announcement post to see if I’m right.”

She smiles when she hears laughter coming from the blanket; Jake deserves someone who makes him happy. Her good mood disappears in an instant as Annabeth starts splashing in the shallow water, soaking the bottom half of her coverup.

“Oh, Annie!” She stops herself from yelling, knowing the preschooler didn’t do it maliciously. “Okay, how about we have some watermelon and dry off before lunch arrives?”

The little girl sprints up to Bradley, raising her arms to be picked up. “What? You want a piggyback ride?”

She shrieks in joy when he flips her onto his back and starts jogging toward their spot, moving very carefully to avoid hurting her. Mary follows behind them at a slower pace, dreading the visual of what she’ll look like next to the blonde goddess who has joined Jake on his towel.

“There’s my favorite girl!” Jake catches Annabeth as she jumps into his arms the moment Bradley sets her down.

Her tiny hands clasp his face. “Watermelon.” She demands, making the four adults laugh.

“Watermelon, please.” Bradley gently reminds her, already opening the cooler, handing the sunscreen to Mary when she reaches for it.

“Watermelon, please.”

“Come here, baby.” Mary puts her arms out for Annie. “We gotta reapply sunscreen, and then we can have watermelon.”

“Nooo!” She whines, trying to hide in Jake’s neck.

“The sun is hot! We need to make sure we’re protected, kiddo!” Jake assists.

“Jake too?”

“Yes, me too.”

That’s all she needs to allow herself to be sprayed with the sun protectant, insisting on holding Jake’s hand while Mary sprays him down too. She’s happily munching watermelon on Jake’s lap when she asks, “Who are you?”

“I’m Tammy, a friend of Jake’s sister! I just stopped to say hi for a second. What’s your name?”

“Annabeth Fitch! I’m four years old.”

“Annabeth! That’s a pretty name!” She looks down the beach, waving at a group getting ready to leave. “I gotta go, but it was good to see you, Jake. I’ll have to tell Olivia I ran into you when we get back to school! I love your suit, by the way, it’s so cute! Bye, guys!”

Her last statement is directed at Mary, who has pulled her damp coverup off to dry in the sun and is standing there in her black one-piece. Bradley gulps, thankful that his sunglasses block his slow pursual of her figure. She looks incredible. Curves in all his favorite places, and her clipped-up hair shows off the neck he’s dreamt of marking up.

A low whistle interrupts his favorite daydream, the one that includes Mary, the backseat of his Bronco, and the dog tags he never wears but stores in his glove box.

“Damn, Mariella!” Phoenix is leering over her sunglasses, arm in arm with Yale’s very pregnant wife, Kristina, who is pumping her fist and chanting her name. Logan, Bob, and Javy slowly follow behind, carrying beach supplies, while the Lee kids run straight to Annabeth.

“Oh my god, stop it, you two!” Mary laughs, her face red enough that Bradley isn’t sure if it’s from their cat calls or the sun.

“Absolutely not! You look hot!” Kris' attempt at a hug turns into a side squeeze, her belly getting in the way. “We brought pasta salad, but please tell me you have more watermelon. It’s all baby #4 has had me craving.”

“We do! It’s in the cooler behind the pile of children on Jake; help yourself!”

The guys finally arrive with chairs, a cooler, and other supplies. The adults catch up while Kristina lays out ground rules for her kids before handing out sandwiches and bowls of pasta salad to everyone.

The men wolf down their food before starting a two-on-two football game, and the kids beg Bob to help them build a sandcastle, a request he happily completes, leaving the three women relaxing in chairs. They spend the next few hours in relative silence under the umbrellas, reading and occasionally chatting or reapplying sunscreen to the children and Bob. 

It’s when Bradley makes his way back to their spot, carrying the youngest Lee, that things change. He hands the three-year-old off to her mother. “Yale said she was getting cranky, and it might be good to let her chill with you guys.”

“Yeah, it’s almost her N-A-P time. Come here, sweetie, let’s cuddle a little.”

Bradley groans, “An N-A-P sounds good. Is there room for me under the umbrella, honey?”

“Of course, you should put more sunscreen on if you’re going to lay down, though.” She ignores the eyes burning into the side of her face and the jaws that drop when she complies with his ask for help getting his back.

Using her folded coverup as a pillow, he lays on his stomach in the shade and gets comfortable. “Wake me up if you need something.”

She gets exactly ten minutes of peace, just enough time for Andrea and Bradley to fall asleep, before the other two start in on her.

“So, I heard you had a date last night. How did that go?” Kris tees up, casually flipping through her magazine.

“Oh! Where did you meet him?” Natasha’s faux innocence annoys her.

“Well, if Dani told you that I had a date, then I’m sure she also told you how bad it was.” She snaps, staring steadfastly at her book and pretending to read. She isn’t actually reading; she can’t. The words have started to blur together from her tears. “And if she told you how bad it was, then you definitely know we met on an app.”

The sniffle that punctuates her sentence springs the other two into motion.

Nat sits in front of her in the sand, taking the book from her, and Kris holds her hand, her mom voice kicking.

“Hey, woah, okay. What’s wrong? How bad is bad? Did he hurt you?” Mary shakes her head, taking a deep breath to avoid crying. “Want to talk about it?”

“I went home to Brooklyn for Christmas as usual, but with this new job, I get more days off during the holidays, so I stayed longer than normal. Which was a mistake. All it meant was three extra days of my mom complaining about my lack of a love life and how I haven’t given her grandkids - that usual spiel. But she took it a step further this time. She actually tried to set me up with the son of one of her friends from her book club.”

“How did that go?”

“It didn’t. I refused to go. Then there was a lot of screaming - mostly about embarrassing her - and I got the first flight out of JFK that I could. I spent the rest of my holiday week on the couch watching Parks and Rec. And I felt so defeated that I redownloaded Hinge and updated my profile.”

“You met on Hinge?” Nat sounds surprised.

“Yeah, I figured it was better than Tinder.”

“Was it?”

“No, just as many dick pic offers.” The women laugh, Mary wiping her eyes where a few tears had slipped by.

“Anyway, I matched with this cute guy, Jeremy. We chatted for a few days, and he asked me to dinner. We had been clicking, and he seemed nice, plus he hadn’t tried to send me any photos, so I said yes.” She pauses to check on Annie, making a mental note to make an apple pie for Bob as a thank you for keeping the kids occupied.

“So what happened?”

“We met at that steakhouse downtown, Samson’s, and he texted me that he was at the bar. Apparently, there was a wait even though we had a reservation, and I was fine with that. I’ve spent enough time in restaurants to know that shit happens and sometimes you get behind, but it very much was not fine with him. He was incredibly rude to the hostess and the bartender. And then when our table was ready - only like 15 minutes later than planned, by the way, it was nothing - he looked at me and went, “This isn’t going to happen. You don’t look like what I thought you would based on your photos.” and left me with the check for our drinks.”

The small chorus of “what the fuck” makes her start to hysterically laugh.

“I know! It’s so fucking ridiculous that that was his reason! Like, I know what I look like.” She gestures to her body, her voice slightly shrill. “I know better than anyone else what I look like. I know that men don’t like bodies that look like mine. I know that men need to get to know me before they’re interested in me. I know that no one is attracted to me at first glance. I am so fucking aware of what I look like, and I am meticulous about choosing photos that accurately represent what I look like. Yes, they're flattering photos, but they very clearly show that I am fat.”

“Mary! That’s so ridiculous! You’re beautiful!” Kristina scolds her.

“I know I’m pretty, Kris, but I’m also fat. And I’m not saying that to put myself down or fish for compliments. It’s just a fact. I have brown eyes, I have a master's degree in project management, I’m fat.” She sighs. “But guys can’t get past the stomach or the hips or the slight double chin. I could look exactly like Farrah Fawcett, and men still would be stuck on the fact that my thighs are bigger than their heads!”

The group falls silent. Neither of the other women know what to say.

“I know what I just said sounds terrible, but please don’t feel bad. It’s how it’s always been for me; I’m used to it. I know how to work the system, how to figure out if a guy is good for me or not.” She chuckles humorlessly. “Though apparently not electronically; don’t worry, I already deleted my profile for good.”

“I’m sorry we teased you. Danielle didn’t mention this guy was such a dick.” Nat apologizes.

“That’s because she doesn’t know. The bartender was really nice and said she would give me three drinks on the house if I ordered an appetizer to go with it because he was so awful. I took her offer, got severely tipsy, took a Lyft back home, and then polished off the bottle of wine that was taking up space in my fridge. White is always a good accompaniment to crying if you were wondering.”

“Wait, so how does she know the date went badly if you didn’t tell her?”

“After finishing the wine, I realized I wasn’t just tipsy but drunk, and then suddenly, my dress was suffocating me, but I couldn’t get it unzipped. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that when I was getting dressed because Danielle helped me. I remember crying harder and calling Dani when I couldn’t get it. I’m guessing the hysterical breakdown was a clue of how the night went. And she must have talked me through it because the dress wasn’t on my body when I woke up this morning.”

“God, why does everything go extra wrong when you’re sad and drunk?”

“I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure I ripped the zipper of my brand-new dress because I got overstimulated.” She pouts.

“Oh, that’s an easy fix!” Kris waves her hand like she’s waving the problem away. “If you did break the zipper, just give the dress to Logan or bring it by the house sometime, and I’ll fix it for you, no problem!”

“Really? That would be am-”

“What about Jake?”

“What?”

“What about Jake?” Phoenix repeats, “Why don’t you date him? The two of you flirt all the time! And as much as it pains me to say it, he’s a good-looking guy. And - bonus! - he’s way less insufferable than he used to be.”

“Oh! Yes! You two would be so cute together!”

“You know we’re not actually flirting, right? We banter and “flirt,” but it’s all platonic. And Jake is handsome, but he doesn’t do it for me.”

“That man is sex on a stick, and he doesn’t do it for you?” Kristina questions.

“Not in that way? Like objectively, I know Jake is very attractive; there’s no doubt that he’s hot, but I’m not actually attracted to him. It’s the same way with Maverick. He’s a good-looking guy, but I have zero interest in fucking him.”

That sends the group into laughter.

“Okay, okay! I get what you mean!” Nat forces herself to stop laughing, “What about Bradley?”

Mary looks down at the man sleeping soundly on the towel beside her, and her heart twists.

Bradley.

Her good friend who does things to help her without even asking what she needs. Who frequently brings her an afternoon snack because she gets derailed in the repair shop and forgets to grab lunch before the canteen closes.

Bradley.

Who overwhelms her senses every time she sees him. Whose cologne makes her heart skip a beat. Who always wraps her in a warm hug, but never before checking if it’s okay. Whose hands touch her with a level of care that she’s never experienced before.

Bradley.

Who, when she tries hard enough, she can trick herself into thinking that he’s actually flirting with her. That he actually wants her.

Bradley.

“It’s the same thing as with Jake; he’s a good guy, a great friend - good looking, too - and he play flirts with me. But that’s all it is.”

“Mary-”

“Please don’t.” Her whispered plea cuts them off. “Don’t be like Danielle and Reuben and try to tell me how much he likes me. That he has a crush on me. I know he doesn’t, so I can’t let myself think that. I don’t think I could handle the rejection and the disappointment.”

The sound of crying swiftly stops the conversation, Mary running down the beach to where Annabeth is holding her head, cradled in Bob’s arms.

“She tripped and bonked her head on a bucket. It wasn’t too hard, and she’s not bleeding. I think she just scared herself.”

“Thanks, Bobby.” She brushes over his hair affectionately before scooping her niece into her arms. “Come on, baby, let's take a walk.”

She stands and starts making her way down the beach, waving to let the others know everything is okay and trying to soothe her crying goddaughter.

“Hey! Everything okay?” Bradley jogs up to them, rubbing his hand over Annie’s hair, checking to make sure she’s not bleeding. “Sorry it took me a minute, Phoenix slapped me. You okay, Miss Annie?”

Annabeth buries her head in Mary’s shoulder as she explains what happened, big crocodile tears wetting her shoulder. “So we’re gonna walk for a little bit. And then I think it might be time for H-O-M-E. Someone seems a bit T-I-R-E-D.”

“Okay, that sounds good. Just let me know, okay?” He drops a kiss on Annie’s forehead and turns to head back, giving the girls some privacy.

“Rooster!”

“Yeah, sweetheart?” Annie makes grabby hands at him. “Want me to walk with you?”

She easily transfers to Bradley’s arms. With Annie curled up on his chest and Mary tucked into his side, holding on to his arm and resting her head against his shoulder, the three of them walk down a deserted stretch of sand. Completely unaware of the multiple cameras capturing the sweet moment behind them.

“I thought you said the perfect post-beach meal includes your Aunt Lindsey’s potato salad?”

“It does.” Mary grabs the container filled with creamy, dill, red-skin potato salad and smiles at the man working the deli counter. “Thank you, have a good one!”

She drops the clear quart container into their cart and tickles Annie’s neck, making her giggle and try to squirm away.

“Then why are we buying potato salad for dinner?”

After their walk down the beach, Mary called Dani to let her know that she was going to have Annie sleepover at her house while Bradley packed up their stuff. Once she found out she was spending the night with her favorite aunt, Annie immediately asked for beach meal, prompting Bradley to ask what that meant.

“The perfect post-beach meal! It’s something my cousins, and I created when we were younger. It’s a fully-loaded cold-cut sandwich, served with my Aunt Lindsey’s potato salad - a family secret - and a handful of potato chips. Best paired with lemonade.” She explains in the car, inviting him to join them for dinner and a movie in her living room.

He immediately accepts, eager to spend more time with Mary and Annie, the little girl quickly wrapping him around her little finger. “We’ll have to stop by my place so I can shower; I don’t want to drag sand all through your house.”

“Just grab a change of clothes; you can shower at my house. We’re going to have to clean up, too, huh?” She turns around to the backseat, tickling Annie’s tummy, smiling as her shrieks of laughter fill the Bronco. “If we’re going to do post-beach meal, we need to stop at the grocery store for a few things, too.”

She chuckles, “That is the secret. Aunt Lindsey’s secret recipe is that she always bought potato salad from the deli down the road and put it in one of her nice serving bowls.”

Bradley laughs! “That’s cheating!”

“No, that’s being smart and saving yourself a ton of work. If you knew how big my family is, you would realize that making enough potato salad for everyone ends up being an all-day ordeal.”

“How big is your family?” He’s curious. He knows she has a bigger family; every story has a different family member attached to its background, but she’s never given exact details.

“I’m one of four; all my brothers have at least two kids. My mom is one of five, my dad is one of six, and all four of my grandparents had multiple siblings. Thirty-one people on my dad’s side moved from Sicily in 1888 or 1889, I can’t remember right now, and my mom’s side came over before World War II. They set up shop in the city, and everyone has pretty much stayed in the Brooklyn area since then. Last family reunion, there was easily over a hundred and fifty people that showed up.”

“Wow…” Bradley blinks at her unexpected answer. “People still do family reunions?”

“Mine do.” She answers distractedly, searching for an acceptable red onion. “You like red onion, right?”

He’s leaning on the cart when a little hand tugs at the sunglasses hooked into his shirt, his eyes shifting from Mary’s legs to Annie. “I’ll eat anything except for radishes, hard-boiled eggs, and anything Jake grills - I just don’t trust him, despite his self-proclaimed Texas grillmaster skills.”

“Noted. Okay, we just need lettuce and lemonade because I’m not making that from scratch today.” She looks up from the list on her phone. “Oh! You look cute, baby! I think Bradley’s glasses might be a little big for you, though.”

“Ah, she’ll grow into them. Right, peanut?” They both laugh as the shades fall off her face when she nods in agreement. “I think I should hold onto these for you until you get a little bigger.”

“You guys wait here for a minute, I’m gonna grab a head of lettuce, and then we’re basically all set.” She rubs a hand across his back as she walks away, smiling as Bradley realizes he’s losing the argument about what movie they’re going to watch with dinner.

“Ho-le-y shit! Look at that!”

“Oh. my. god. Do you think he’s single?”

“I hope so! That is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

The frantic whispering drags Mary’s attention from the iceberg lettuce display. She watches as a group of pretty, twenty-something girls point and ogle in Bradley’s direction. Her eyes flick towards the shopping cart her goddaughter is sitting in, her pink striped coverup swallowing her tiny frame.

Well, they’re not wrong. He does look sexy.

The muscle shirt he’s wearing shows off the hard work he’s put in recently. The team has been hitting the gym more frequently since the new year, starting to prepare for a short deployment they have coming up in the spring. He’s golden from spending the day in the sun, and his brown hair is fluffy from the salt water. Combined with how he’s entertaining an adorable little girl, who is clearly enamored with him, she completely understands the thirsting happening next to the avocado tower.

“I’m going up to him. How do my boobs look?”

The brazenness of the group leader stuns her.

Absolutely fucking not.

Without looking, she grabs a head of lettuce and hustles back to the cart, grinning at Annie when she points at her. Bradley turns and smiles, pulling her into his chest as he drops the lettuce next to Annie in the cart. “This one has insisted that we need ice cream to round out this perfect meal of ours, and I think I agree with her. What do you think, honey?”

She melts into his hold, savoring the way his arm feels wrapped around her waist. “Well, I do have chocolate sauce and rainbow sprinkles that are dying to be used up. So I think you’re absolutely right; we should get ice cream.”

Bradley and Annie high-five as he starts booking it toward the freezer section, leaving Mary in their dust. She snorts at the ridiculousness she’s brought to the grocery store and starts to follow them.

“Hey!” A voice behind her catches her attention. She turns, vindication spreading through her chest when she sees the disappointed faces of the group of younger women.

“Congrats on him; he’s a beauty.” The leader gives her a thumbs up and a wink like she had just bagged a prize deer.

She laughs in response, giving a small wave over her shoulder as she works to catch up. Knowing that without supervision, Annie will con Bradley into buying five flavors of ice cream.

“Alright, that’s your final number of the night, twinkle toes. Time for bed.” Mary lifts herself off the couch where she’s spent the last forty-five minutes leaning against Bradley.

After dinner and mini ice cream sundaes were eaten and Cars had finished, Annie shoved the adults together on the couch and demanded they watch her dance around the living room to Top 40 hits.

“Time to brush my teeth?”

“Yes, time to brush your teeth.” She swings Annie onto her hip. “Wanna watch that James Bond movie you were talking about last week?”

“Yeah, if you’re up for it?” Bradley gets up when she nods in response. “Awesome, I’ll finish the dishes and set it up.”

“Thank you, I’ll be back after she’s asleep.”

He watches her walk down the hallway towards her bedroom, talking to the sleepy preschooler in her arms before moving into the kitchen. As he washes the ice cream bowls, he thinks about how much he’s enjoyed the day. He never thought the highlight of his week would be fighting for an hour to secure a car seat into Bronco and then spending 12+ hours caring for a four-year-old. But it has been, and he’s enjoyed every moment.

He pours them each a glass of the Moscato he picked up at the store and sprawls on her pink couch, scrolling through his phone while he waits for her to put Annie to bed. It’s not too long before soft footsteps grab his attention, and he gulps when she rounds the corner.

“My leggings were too uncomfortable, so I changed into my pajamas; I hope you don’t mind.”

How could I mind looking at your ass in those shorts?

“Course not; want you to be comfy.” He watches her bend down to add detergent to the dishwasher, her sweatshirt catching his eye. “Do you have an aviator boyfriend somewhere in Florida that we don’t know about?”

“What?”

“Your sweatshirt. I’ve only seen people who come out of flight school with those.”

“Oh, this! I always talked about how I wanted one of these sweatshirts, so when I announced that I was leaving to come out here, my favorite admiral got me one as a going-away present.” She points to her sleeve as she sits beside him, “He even got my call sign embroidered on it!”

“Cute; how come I’ve never seen this before?”

“I only wear it at bedtime. He ordered it to be oversized for me, which I appreciate, but it was so big that it practically was a dress. Dani and I tried to crop it one night, but we didn’t measure, misjudged it, and well…” She lifts her arms slightly above her head, her tummy and the very bottom curve of her breasts coming into view. “Not exactly public friendly.”

He hums, distracted by how if she had lifted her arms one more inch, she would have completely flashed him.

“You, uhh-” He clears his throat, “You ready to watch the movie? I poured you a glass of wine.”

“Thank you!” She hits play as she takes a sip. “Oh, Bradley, you did such a good job picking this out.”

He grunts in response, his brain fixated on the little moan she let out after her second sip.

Twenty minutes into the movie, he pauses it when she squirms for the tenth time. “Are you uncomfortable?”

“Sorry. My back hurts, and there’s not enough room to lay down.”

“Come lay with me. There’s plenty of room here.”

“Really?” She asks as she’s already moving around the coffee table to his other side. “You don’t mind?”

“Just come lay down, Mary.” She slots herself next to him on the chaise, resting her head on his shoulder and throwing a leg over his thighs. “Better?”

“Yes, thank you.” She pats his chest in thanks, and he starts the movie up again. He wraps an arm around her, slipping his hand under her sweatshirt and rubbing her back when she doesn’t protest.

When the movie ends two hours later, she yawns and shifts on his chest as the credits roll. “I liked that a lot; I think that’s Daniel Craig’s best movie.” She bends her leg, pulling it further up his lap and freezing when she feels him.

“Sorry.” He grunts, trying to scoot away, yelling at himself for making her uncomfortable.

A hand on his chest stops him.

“It’s okay.” She quietly reassures him, her hand sliding up to cradle the side of his face, turning him to look at her. “I don’t mind.”

The look in his eyes takes her breath away. He looks hungry. Like he wants her. The way his breathing gets heavier when she sinks her hand into his hair gives her the confidence boost she needs. Summoning all the grace she possibly can, Mary sits up and swings a leg over his hips. His hands guide her onto his lap, her eyes widening when she sits down.

“You’re so hard.” She says breathlessly, shocked at how aroused he is underneath her.

“You’ve been pressed against me for two hours in these tiny little shorts with no bra on, and you smell good.” He shrugs helplessly like he had no control over the situation.

“Bradley…” She trails off when he moans as her hands tug his hair. She leans into him, heart pounding as their chests and noses touch. Her eyes flutter, a quiet whine escaping as she enjoys the way his hand grabs at her ass, big and warm through the thin material of her shorts. The other hand runs up her thigh and slips under the hem to hold her hip, thumbing over the lacey edge of her panties. Mary moans as he pulls her further into him, tilting her head and letting her lips brush his.

“Aunt Mary!”

She sits up straight, balancing herself on his chest. “Annie?! What’s wrong?” She climbs off Bradley, apologizing as she goes.

“I- I- I had a bad dream! Th-the dinosaurs were there!” She wails, tears pouring down her cheeks as she hiccups.

“Oh, sweetie, it’s okay! It’s okay! Those dinosaurs aren’t real. They were just machines for the movie. They can’t hurt you.” She bounces Annie, trying to soothe her. She’s going to kick Reuben’s ass all the way to Australia for allowing Annabeth to watch Jurassic Park. Knowing it’s his fault that she and Bradley were interrupted.

“Can we watch Frozen?” The sniffles break her heart, and she immediately gives in.

Mary sighs, “Yeah, let's wipe your face off, and we’ll watch Frozen.” After the tears and snot are washed away, she settles on the opposite end of the couch with Annie in her arms, wrapping a blanket around them and turning on the movie.

Once the citizens of Arendelle are singing about ice, she risks a glance over at Bradley to find him already watching her. Her heart skipping a beat at the intensity of his stare. She lets herself openly watch as he adjusts himself through his shorts before dragging a hand across his mouth, his eyes only leaving hers to watch the way her teeth dig into her bottom lip. She can’t remember the last time she was this turned on and mourns the fact that she didn’t even get a chance to taste his lips.

Eventually, she breaks eye contact, looking at the movie when Annie points. Bradley doesn’t look away - can’t look away - her cheeks are flushed, and she's still slightly panting. He’s annoyed they were interrupted and feels bad about being annoyed. But he’s never going to be able to forget the way she felt on his lap. So soft, so warm. How she fit perfectly into his hands, like she was made for him. He can’t think about how her hands pulled his hair and how she wiggled on his lap, or he knows he’s going to get hard again. Those 90 seconds are going to star in his dreams for the rest of his life.

She’s perfect. I’m gonna ask her out next week, and we’ll go to dinner somewhere nice. We’ll go to Samson’s. He decides.

I can’t believe that asshole didn’t want her.

Who wouldn’t want her? 

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fic tag | credit for dividers here

[just-a-girl-who-wrytes]

Part 8 ☺️

Several months went by and the team celebrated Street and Chris’ engagement, as well as Luca finding out he was going to be a dad. They had a celebratory dinner over the weekend, one at which Nikki had drank a little more than she cared to admit. Deacon took her home that night, helped her into one of his t-shirts and a pair of his underwear before helping his girlfriend into bed and climbing in with her. The next morning, Nikki woke up hungover as hell. Everything hurt - her head, her stomach, her joints. She groaned. David walked in and chuckled.

“How do you hang with this old man,” he waved his hands from shoulders to waist with a bottle of gatorade in one hand and Tylenol in the other. “But you can’t hang with some bitch booze?”

Nikki buried her face in the pillow. “Because it’s bitch booze. You never can tell how much is too much until it’s too late.”

Nikki attempted to sit up, but was unsuccessful without the muscular torso of her lover’s body to help steady her. “I have to pee.” She mumbled. 

Deacon laughed again, “All of the things you deal with and handle like the bad ass woman you are on a regular basis and some liquor is what takes you out.” 

“Nice save, Kay.” Nikki mumbled, not bothering to look up at him as he guided her to the bathroom. David helped Nikki to the toilet and steadied her as she pulled his underwear off of her waist and sat down. He stepped away and she heard a cabinet open and close but paid it no mind. 

“Here, baby, you need this.”

Nikki looked up to see David handing her a maxi pad and then looked down to see blood stained boxers. 

“Wha-? Fuck meee.”

“When you won’t vomit all over me,” Deacon chuckled. 

“No, baby. I haven’t had a period in yearssss why the hell am I having one now?!” 

“Honey, I have no idea, but I can make it better with snuggles and a lazy day.” He winked at her. 

Nikki groaned and took a clean pair of her underwear from David. Once she was cleaned up and medicated, she joined Deacon on the couch for a lazy day. Despite taking tylenol and motrin and drinking gatorade, she couldn’t help shake the nausea that she had. She napped on and off in Deacon’s arms but felt substantially worse every time she moved and the cramping in her stomach was the worst she could remember having. By the time bedtime rolled around, she didn’t feel any better and again leaned on David to make it back to the bed. 

Nikki was bed bound for the following few days and even had to call out of work. She was cursing her uterus for making her feel so bad. This was punishment for all of the time she hadn’t had a period. 

Deacon was at work just over a week later, talking to Hondo about his girlfriend and her symptoms. 

“You think she’s pregnant?”

Deacon paused. “Of course that hadn’t crossed my mind. Man, she has been feeling bad and cramping and bleeding. We both have just thought she either had the flu or her period was whooping her ass.”

Hondo smirked, “Ya know pregnancy can mimic periods sometimes. It happened to my sister. It’s worth a thought, brother.”

After work, Deacon stopped to pick up chinese for supper. some dramamine to help with Nikki’s nausea, as well as a box of pregnancy tests. When he arrived home, he found her asleep on the couch. He kissed her forehead and made a pitcher of sweet tea for whenever she was ready to eat. After putting the tea in the fridge, he stopped and leaned on the counter, staring at her as she slept.

What if she really is pregnant… he thought. He thought about Nikki being the one to carry his baby and he started to get turned on. She would make such a wonderful mother. And it was all Deacon could do to stop himself from jumping her right then and there as he dreamed about how pregnancy would change her body - her hips, her boobs - how all of it would be because of him. It would be his little life she carried that they made together. 

He originally planned on just letting her sleep and giving them to her when she woke up, but as he thought about their future and the woman he loved carrying the baby he put in her, he couldn’t stop himself. He walked over and sat down on the edge of the couch next to her and woke her up.

The color was still gone from her face and she still looked like she didn’t feel good. 

“Baby, I brought supper home. I’ve also got some nausea meds for you and something else I need you to take….”

“Something else?” Nikki gave him a puzzled look as he brushed her hair away from her face. 

“I was talking to Hondo at work about how you had been sick and your period was weird,” Nikki chuckled. There was no conversation or detail too personal for 20-David to share. She had never actually asked, but she was positive Hondo at the very least had heard about the first time they had sex together. 

“He said taking one of these might be a good idea.” Deacon handed her the box of pregnancy tests. 

Nikki took the box from him. 

“If you’re not pregnant, we can get you into the doc to see why you’re still sick.”

“And if I am?”

Nikki watched as a smile spread across Deacon’s face, “Even better.”

Deacon stood up and helped Nikki off the couch and followed her to the bathroom. 

He leaned against the counter with his arms folded across his belly, watching as Nikki peed on the stick. 

“Who would have thought a man would sit and watch me pee and still love me…”

Deacon laughed, “What is it you used to tell me when I was helpless and getting bathed like a baby?”

“We’re all human and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” the couple said in unison. 

Nikki stood up, washed her hands and stepped in front of Deacon. She wrapped her arms around his torso and laid her head on his chest. She relaxed in his embrace as he wrapped his arms around her. 

The couple stood there in silence.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Nikki asked, never removing her head from his chest.

“It would be so amazing to know that the woman I love is pregnant with the baby I put in her.” Deacon groaned sensually, “To be able to watch you carry our baby, watch your belly grow, feel our baby move…”

Nikki felt herself falling even more in love with Deacon and she wasn’t sure how that was even possible. 

“You’ve asked me all of these questions,” Deacon said as he pulled her off of him and cradled her neck with a hand on either side under her jaw, “But how will you feel if it’s positive?”

Deacon could see Nikki searching for words. 

“I hadn’t thought about it, David. I mean if so, this is a complete 180 from when I was pregnant with ‘Kota. Hell, you are a complete 180 from my ex-husband. But you don’t seem scared.”

“Why would I be?”

“Well…” Nikki had a hard time figuring out how to piece words together. She never thought about it. If he loved her like he said he did - and she had no doubt about his love for her, there really wasn’t a reason to be scared. She breathed out a laugh, “I don’t know, Deac, I guess just some unresolved subconscious fear I have - the man I’m pregnant by not being supportive… but rationally, I know I have zero reason to be scared now.” 

By now, Deacon had reached over and grabbed the test off of the counter and read it. 

He spoke as he looked up at Nikki from the test, “I’m glad we’re on the same page… Mama.” Deacon smiled, his face full of nothing but love. 

“What?” Nikki said breathlessly as she took the test from him.

Pregnant

She suddenly sobbed, falling into Deacon’s embrace, “Oh, David!”

Deacon wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck.

“We’re having a baby, sweetheart!” He said. 

Nikki could do nothing except cry in David’s arms. She was exudingly happy, but her love life had been so nonexistent before David that she hadn’t given any thought to having children again - ever…. Much less having children with someone who loved her and took care of her. She could do nothing but cry for the sweet baby she lost and cry for the new baby she now had. 

“I know this baby is handpicked for you - for us by Dakota.” Deacon said to her.

[lovebillyhargrove]

Wake me up when July is around

Chapter 8

Chapter 9/?

***

The loud beeping of an alarm clock wakes Billy up at 8.30 am on Saturday, and he wishes he was dead.

Last night they partied hard.

Hangover is a logical but, clearly, an unwelcome payback. It feels like a thousand of tiny evil blacksmiths are forging iron on their anvils right inside his head. Fucking christ. Billy opens his eyelids with much difficulty and immediately closes them again. He has to get up, damn it, he has to be at work at 12.

He has to rise from the ashes.

That Halloween Friday sure was freaky.

Billy is instantly filled with regret.

Why didn't he reset his alarm clock yesterday for later.

Before the party, he didn't think about it. He was only shaking his ass in front of the mirror admiring how good he looked in that leather jacket, bitches be thirsty.

After the party it was too late to think about the fucking alarm clock.

Okay, slowly .. slowly, he needs to sit up.

Just don't throw up. On the fucking carpet.

Billy is sitting upright on the bed. That's an achievement. It feels like he's still alive. He can move.

His throat is dry like the Sahara desert, he's in desperate need of water. He has to get to the kitchen.

Billy registers that he's still wearing the dark blue jeans and the gloves from his party costume. The black leather jacket is lying on the floor, near the boots.

Billy slowly takes off the gloves, finds a t-shirt lying nearby and puts it on.

Did he come home at 3? He doesn't really remember. Something like that. He only knows that he was trying to be as quiet as possible, not to wake anyone up, because that skill is ingrained in his brain and body, deep.

Billy forces himself to get on his feet, and sits back down right away, dizzy and miserable.

Okay. Let's try again, buddy.

He so overdid it yesterday.

After dragging himself off the bed, Billy makes it to the door

But the moment he opens it, he understands that it was a mistake. He can hear voices coming from the kitchen, it's Neil and Susan having breakfast. The evil leprechaun must be still sleeping.

Fuck his life, he's gonna die if he doesn't drink water but his dad's wrath is also scary. At least Neil's not gonna kill him right now, in front of his wife, as an extra good morning.

Billy summons all his strength to look as normal as possible and shuffles to the bathroom. He drinks straight from the tap, washes his face and looks at the toilet bowl as if making sure that throwing up is not on today's agenda.

It's still to be seen, but not right this moment, at least.

If he's gonna go back to his room, dad's gonna get on his ass about "being disrespectful" and "not saying good morning". Looks like Billy has no choice but to show his face to them in all its hungover glory.

He checks the face in the mirror. It's fine. Looks human.

Just don't puke on the breakfast table, and everything will be A-okay.

Billy goes to the kitchen, all humble and trying to look like a shadow.

"Good morning, dad. Good morning, Susan."

"Will you look at yourself?"

Neil's voice is full of disgust.

"What time did you get home yesterday?"

"I uh .. a little after midnight, probably. I apologize if I woke you up."

"You didn't wake us up, Billy." Susan is cutting in. "Would you like some breakfast?"

He actually needs to eat something but

He can't even drink coffee right now.

Water. Water. It'll get better in an hour, he just needs a lot of water, and to lie down.

"No, thank you, Susan. I'll get myself something later."

Billy pours a full glass of water. Time to retreat while it's still peaceful.

"I'll be in my room if you need anything."

"Mark my words, son, as soon as you finish school, I'm not paying for another single day of your life! Senior year, the most important time, and he's wasting it on .. what, on debauchery??" Neil is addressing Susan now, all indignant and angry, oh he is angry but Billy hopes it won't get bigger than that.

At nine o'clock Neil and Susan are supposed to go grocery shopping, like they always do on Saturdays. Neil likes it when they stick to a plan. He's already getting up and looking for his car keys. Susan takes the last sip of her tea and starts flopping her good housewife wings around the kitchen.

"Let's go, Susan. Billy will clean up after breakfast, right?"

"Of course, I will."

"Thank you, Billy. Good bye! Wake Maxine up at 10 if she doesn't get up, please!" Susan is taking her purse and the list of groceries.

"Sure. Have a nice time shopping!"

Billy hears his dad telling Susan on their way out

"Seems a bit late to sleep for a girl her age?"

"I know, honey, but she gets so tired during the week, let her have her Saturday .."

The door closes, and they're gone.

It went very well, actually, all things considered.

Probably Neil just didn't want to deal with a hungover teenager cause the said teenager might throw up all over the place, so it's better not to touch him.

Such an unfortunate episode did happen once, when Billy was still in his very green years. He came home drunk, and Neil got in his face. He grabbed the boy by his collar and was telling him what a piece of crap and a fucking burden he was, which only led to Billy feeling even worse. Neil had to run to the shower to wash the vomit off, leaving his son to clean up the mess he'd made.

He got slapped around for that later, but it taught Neil a lesson as well.

Billy goes back to his room clutching the glass of water like a lifeline.

He sits down on the bed again and after finishing the whole glass, lies down. He doesn't want to close his eyes though, cause the dizziness is gonna be back so he's just lying there staring at the ceiling.

Vile gray light is seeping through the window. Outside the rain is drizzling.

Fuck Indiana and its nasty weather right in its Midwestern ass.

Fucking hell.

Billy usually knows when to stop, but yesterday he clearly didn't.

What even happened yesterday? .. He did the keg stand, and there was more beer and vodka .. and he definitely mixed it all, hence the hangover. Smoking non-stop, dancing, Tommy following him around like a faithful bulldog, Vicky hanging on his arm and touching his abs while they were dancing. There was another girl, persistently asking for his attention, Jennifer or .. was it ..

Oh shit.

Oh no no no no

Fucking stupid piece of shit.

Fffffuuuuuucckkkkk.

Billy shuts his eyes but it is a bad idea, because he's getting the dizzies and everything's spinning, so he presses his palms to his closed eyes, wishing to erase the memory of what happened between him and .. fuck. The dumb bitch, Harrington.

He and Harrington fucking .. smooched ??

No no no no nooooo

Billy is groaning hoarsely, and the sound of it reflects the depth of his desperation at his own stupidity

Why is he such an idiot. Why did he do it. He should've instead broken Harrington 's pretty nose ..

fuck JUST nose! Without the pretty, forget that he said .. or thought that.

What was it even, Billy didn't want to start any shit in the first place, as god is his witness.

His clouded consciousness doesn't provide him with much, but some flashes do come to his mind.

Bathroom. Harrington.

He fucking started it!

His face. His lips. His hand on the back of Billy's head, almost hurting, the fingers sharp and digging into his skin

The silky softness.

The wetness of their tongues touching

Fuck fuck FUCK.

Mission: erasing the memories.

Billy is an idiot. A certified one.

***

He crawls out of his bedroom half an hour later for more water, and to go to the bathroom. The hangover is gradually stepping away, but the more it does, the more unsettled Billy is.

His dad is right.

He's an imbecile.

At around ten he bangs on Max's door,

"Wakie, wakie, Maxine!" he bellows and then bangs some more until he hears

"Stop it, you jerk!"

"Rise and shine, birdbrain!"

Then goes to the kitchen to finally find some food.

He's slowly getting back to his senses. At 12 he needs to be at work, and he will be. Old Joe won't even notice that Billy partied last night.

Partied so hard, that he ended up kissing that annoying motherfucker.

Erase, erase, erase.

No panic. It was only once, and it was a mistake but Billy could always say nothing happened.

He was so wasted, he wasn't himself. Hell, he didn't even remember it when he woke up.

Harrington is not gonna run his mouth about it, what is he, a kamikaze?

It's nothing, it's just a drunken slip up.

Happens to the best of us, amirite?

***

***

Steve stays at home all Saturday. They only go grocery shopping with mom, he drives her to the store and back in the afternoon. Or course, Dad chooses this very day to ask him fucking questions. Steve mumbles something about his captainship ot the basketball team and finally finishing his college application essay. He's also retaking his SATs at the beginning of November cause the results of the tests he took last year were not very high. Not high enough.

They were pretty low. After he gets the new results back, he'll still have time to apply to some places. Mom asks him if he has thought of a backup plan, and Steve honestly says

"No, mom. I haven't."

"You probably should."

"Yes, I will, after I'm done with applications. Can I go study now?"

Parents do not seem very happy with the outcome of their conversation, but Steve can't offer more. To him, his future plan looks okay for now.

Honestly, Steve doesn't even know what specific sphere he'd like to study. He's still at home and at school, and the future seems vague and a little bit scary. Nancy is definitely aiming at a university, and Steve's not sure what will happen to their relationship.

Especially after yesterday.

He spends the whole evening revising for his SATs. A lot of confusing stuff. He probably should've started sooner, and not a week before.

Well.

Steve studies more on Sunday, but then Tommy calls and they decide to go to a pizza place.

They order pepperoni and cola, and Steve can finally take a breath with his whole chest

"Ugh man, I've been studying for two days straight, my brain's on fire."

"Dad wants you to get into Yale or something?"

"Well no .. but .. they want me to have a clear plan, and I don't have it, and it's just .. they fucking nag."

Tommy nods in understanding

"Yeah man."

"Must retake SATs soon, and it just .."

"It sucks."

They chew some more pizza

"You remember, Hargrove took your keg king title? The dude got 52 seconds, fucking crazy."

At the mention of Hargrove's name Steve's cheeks start feeling hotter

"Yeah, whatever. I got bigger problems to worry about now."

"The princess?"

"We had a huge fight at the party. She was so drunk. I dunno, Tommy."

"You haven't talked to her since the party?"

"No. Why?"

Hagan is looking at Harrington in a weird way

"Hey, man .. I've actually been meaning to tell you. I think you should know."

"Know what?"

"Your Wheeler girl .. remember you asked me and Carol where she was and we told you she'd left home?"

"Yeah?"

"Well she didn't go home alone."

"That's good? She was drunk."

"Do you know who she left with?"

"How am I supposed to know that? I didn't see her leaving. You and Carol told me she was fine, and I .. I kinda left it at that?"

"So you still don't know?"

"Tommy, what the fuck?"

Hagan's still looking at Steve like he pities him but he also wants to gloat so bad because he told his friend a lot of times to "dump that prissy bitch", and they even fought over it, more than once, and voilà, in the end Tommy is actually right

"I thought that maybe she left with this .. Samantha or something? .. Tommy??"

"You girlfriend left with the Byers freak."

WHAT

"She what?"

"Just thought you should know."

"She left with Byers?"

"Yup."

"Jonathan Byers?"

"Yes, Steve."

Fucking what?

"Are you sure?"

"Dude, I was drunk but not blind. Carol saw that too. Nancy went downstairs in her wet dress, and it was like .. well, he was just standing there near the stairs. They talked for a minute and then went away together."

Well, that's uh .. Steve didn't expect that.

Is that what people feel when their heart breaks? Is that the burning acid of being betrayed?

Tommy eats what's left of the pizza.

Steve doesn't pick Nancy up on Monday to drive her to school as he usually does.

***

***

On Monday before practice coach Nelson informs the team that

"We're having visitors this week, boys! Let's show them all you've got!"

Two sports recruiters are coming to see if they have any hidden talents here in Hawkins.

Billy thinks someone should warn them not to waste their time. There's nothing to look for here. Nada. Fucking zero.

He knows that the odds of being chosen are extremely slim. And even if a recruiter spots you, it guarantees nothing.

Billy has seen his share of sports scouts back in San Diego. He's aware that they are not interested in him.

There are so many good things recruiters told Billy. He's a great player, he scores points, he makes flashy moves, his techniques of shooting, dribbling, rebounding and defense are excellent as well as such attributes as strength, endurance, speed and agility, blah blah blah. His physical characteristics - weight and wingspan - meet the requirements. Add to it Billy's intelligence on the court and the unbeaten desire to win.

He basically has it all.

There's just one problem - Hargrove's too short to be a professional basketball player. He's too fucking short, and that's why a career in basketball is not even an option.

He's 5'10. It's fine. Just not for the NBA.

At some point in his life Billy used to be bitter about his height. That was when the first recruiter came looking and he was like

"Kid, if only you were taller."

The second one said the same. And the third. Little by little, Billy accepted it as it is, and that's why

He doesn't care about the visitors. Unlike him, the whole team is buzzing. Are they stupid? Recruiters will never choose any of them. The only player who has a tiny microscopic chance of getting noticed is probably Andy. He's tall, he's got the physique. His game's not great but it can be worked with.

Harrington, on the other hand? Billy's has seen his serious and focused face, eyebrows knitted together, when the coach mentioned the recruiters.

Please, it's ridiculous.

Billy's not even gonna elaborate. It's simply ludicrous.

Harrington can drool all over his pillow having dreams of a sports scholarship or a prominent career in the NBA, and the sucker can keep on dreaming because that's as close as he's gonna get to playing this sport professionally.

Anyhoo.

It's skins and shirts as always, and Billy's playing rough as usual. He's seen Harrington in the school hallway earlier and they shared a class. Billy just straight up ignored the loser. Steve also didn't seem to look his way much, maybe he doesn't even remember about the kiss.

He also looks as if he's brooding about something, like something weighs heavy on his preppy-ass soul.

Either way, it's not Billy's business and he doesn't give a shit.

And yeah,

Mission: erasing the memories of the most idiotic kiss

Status: incomplete.

In his defense, Billy was so wasted, he could've kissed anyone.

***

***

During the match Hargrove behaves like nothing happened, there's just something about his game that's extra precise and extra ruthless. Like he wants to show with all his obnoxious persona that he's above all that and doesn't give a fuck. It's likely he doesn't recall what happened on Friday night because he was drunk as a fish.

Or it's a bluff.

He remembers.

Steve knows he does. Why is he so sure? Cause Hargrove hasn't touched him once since the beginning of the game, hasn't said anything mean to him. He's trying to send a message that he doesn't care, but he's trying too hard, and it shows.

Billy knows what they've done, and he's .. what, ashamed?

Heheehe.

Nice.

Harrington would've gotten much more pleasure out of it if his heart wasn't hurting.

Are they broken up with Nancy, did she cheat on him? What the hell is this whole fucking situation?

Steve's lost in his thoughts when suddenly he hears Nancy's loud irritated voice

"Steve?"

There she is, standing at the gym doors, clearly expecting Harrington to come have a conversation with her outside.

He doesn't want to bail on his team in the middle of the game but he's been avoiding Nancy all morning, and soon he won't be able to tolerate the level of acidity that has swallowed his whole being.

They do need to talk.

Steve needs it.

They go outside to the little passage between the gym and the school building where they usually hide smoking with the guys.

Maybe it's the first time since they got together, when Steve's absolutely not happy to see his girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend? Guess we'll find out now.

"What are you doing here?"

"What do you think?"

Nancy sounds pissed. She talks to him in that tone like .. like a strict mother to a naughty child, when she's angry at him.

"You didn't call all weekend.. and where were you this morning? I missed first period!"

"I figured Jonathan would take you."

"Wha .. what are you talking about?" Maybe she's a good actress but there's genuine surprise in her voice. She looks confused.

Harrington scoffs

"Jesus, you really can't handle your alcohol."

"Uh ..?"

"You remember going to Tina's party on Friday night?"

"Yes?"

"And then what?"

"I remember dancing .. and spilling some punch."

Nancy's thinking for a second.

"You got mad at me because I was drunk. And then you took me home."

Does she really remember nothing or that's all acting?

"No, see, this is where your mind gets a little bit fuzzy."

Steve's making a pause.

"That was your other boyfriend. That was .. that was Jonathan."

There's a perplexed expression on Nancy's face

"I don't understand."

"It's pretty simple, Nance."

"What?"

"You were just telling it like it is."

Maybe she really doesn't remember. That doesn't make it okay though.

"Uh .. apparently, we killed Barb and I don't care cause I'm bullshit and our whole .. our whole relationship is bullshit and .. I mean, pretty much everything is just bullshit bullshit bullshit."

Nancy raises her well-defined eyebrows and wrinkles her forehead

That doesn't make the stuff she told Steve okay!!

"Oh yeah also you don't love me."

"I was drunk, Steve. I don't remember any of that."

Really? So you can get hammered and tell your boyfriend you don't love him, and then everything should just get back to normal cause you don't recall doing that?

"So that makes everything you said .. it's what? Just bullshit too?"

"Yes?"

"Then tell me. Tell me that you love me and there's nothing going on between you and Jonathan."

"Really, Steve?"

"Harrington !!"

Roy is out of his breath, appearing between the buildings.

"Dude we need you, man! That douchebag is killing us! Let's go !!"

"I'm coming!"

"There is nothing going on between me and Jonathan, Steve."

It's nice to hear, really. Steve needs a longer explanation though.

"We're not done talking, Nance."

Their team loses anyways, with or without the captain. There's something about Billy's game today, it's .. like he's holding that distance, with a hint of "nothing personal, guys".. Is he getting ready to show off in front of the sports scouts? The new behaviour infuriates the hell out of Steve, even though the asshole hasn't pushed him one single time.

You're wrong about nothing personal, Hargrove. Locking mouths seems pretty personal to me.

However, Billy's not number one problem on the list of Steve's troubles right now. Let him believe Harrington has suffered a case of amnesia, and there was no kiss.

***

Steve picks Nancy up after school. On the way to her house she tells him

"Nothing happened that night, I swear."

"Are you sure, Nance? You didn't even understand who took you home! You thought it was me!"

"Steve, I would know if someone tried sleeping with me in my own bed, okay?"

She also admits that they sometimes talk with Jonathan between classes or during library study. They talk mostly about Barb, because his little brother Will was also missing last summer. They found him in the woods. Three weeks later, yet they found him. Maybe Barb also disappeared in the woods. Too much time has passed and there's no hope of finding her alive, but bringing some certainty would help her parents obtain peace.

Nancy assures Steve there's nothing romantic going on between her and Jonathan.

Steve's at a loss. Like .. he feels that he can't give Nancy the consolation she's looking for. He has no idea what happened to Barb and he thinks they should let the police deal with the whole thing. He can listen to Nancy, but what else can he offer? He's not .. experienced at things like that.

Steve should probably make a scene anyway and get really pissed and show her how hurt his feelings are, but he's also kinda glad everything 's cleared up, and she didn't cheat on him, and they are still together.

They are still together, right?

Nevertheless, he definitely must keep an eye on Jonathan Byers. The guy took creepy pictures of them in the middle of the night, Nancy seems to have forgotten about that. Steve should have a talk with Byers, tell him to stay away from his girl.

They kiss each other good bye.

It feels .. mechanic.

***

Late at night when Steve's again tossing and turning in bed, he suddenly realises that Nancy told him a lot of words but forgot to mention the most important thing - she didn't tell him she loved him.

Should he ask her again?

Tell me you love me

He's always thought if you're in love and in a relationship, you shouldn't be asking the person you're together with for confirmation.

Steve again feels that he wants to give so much, but no-one needs it, and no-one is willing to give back the same amount.

Of love.

Or even close to it.

Maybe relationships aren't that easy, and he's idealising them.

However, if there's no love, what's there to fight for?

[threadandlace]

In the Auditorium- Seamstress for the Band series, part ten (12.0k)

Masterlist- to start at the beginning

Your head was pounding and your stomach was doing flips when you woke up. Sake doesn’t sit well with ice cream. You barely made it to the toilet before everything from the night before came back up.

Leaning back against the cool porcelain of the tub, you took a few deep breaths to steady yourself before flushing the toilet and moving to the sink. The idea of toothpaste made you sick to your stomach again, so you used the bottle of mouthwash on the counter to quickly rinse out your mouth.

The clock on the bedside table read 8:15 am and you groaned before flopping back into bed. There’s no way I’m going back to sleep now. The thought of breakfast nearly made you sick again, but you knew that by the time you were truly awake, you’d need something bland on your stomach. Or greasy. You decided to chance it and texted the group.

You: anyone up? I need something greasy, stat.

You waited for a reply, figuring everyone else was likely still asleep. A minute later your phone pinged.

Danny: I’m up! There’s a café down the street, who’s down?

Jake: I’ll get Josh up. Give me a few.

Danny: Meet in the lobby?

Jake: perfect

You picked out a shirt and jeans and slipped on a pair of Birkenstocks before throwing your hair into a bun. Checking the mirror on your way out, you realized you looked rough. They’ve seen me look worse.

Danny was the first one you saw when you got down to the lobby. “Good morning,” he greeted with a warm smile. He always looked impeccable, not a single curl out of place. “I guess you slept well?” you asked as you took a seat at the bench beside where he was standing. He chuckled. “No, actually, Sam was mumbling in his sleep the entire night. I think having sugar late at night really just wreaks havoc on him.” 

You nodded in response. “Is he up?” you asked. “Oh, no, he won’t be up for another hour probably. Maybe more. I’ll just bring him something back,” Danny replied as he turned to face you. “You feeling okay?” he asked, his eyes closing slightly as he searched your face. “Oh, just had a little too much to drink last night. Do I look that rough?” you asked as your hands raised to your hair, which you tried to smooth out. “Oh, no, you look great! As always! You just, um, seemed a little off is all. Wanted to make sure you’re doing okay. Touring is… a lot” he added, giving you a slight grin. “Nope, I’m great. Tired, hungover, but still good!” you said, standing when you saw Josh and Jake exit the elevator.

Josh looked like he felt about the same way you did. “Morning,” he said quietly to you and Danny. “You okay, brother?” Danny asked him as he wrapped his arm around Josh’s shoulders. “Don’t jostle him too much or he may get sick,” Jake said with a laugh. “That bad?” Danny asked and Josh nodded as he pulled a pair of dark sunglasses out of his pocket and slid them on. You pulled your own pair out of your purse as you all walked outside, the bright sunlight burning your eyes. “You too?” Jake asked as you walked down the stretch of sidewalk. “Oh yeah, I was pretty sick this morning. I’m better now,” you replied as you watched Danny hit the button for the cross walk. “Ice cream and sake doesn’t mix,” Josh added, repeating your own sentiments. Jake laughed as he followed Danny across the street, you and Josh following behind.

“Ah, Josh, they have bloody Mary’s! Your favorite!” Jake teased after you all had been seated at the breakfast place, menus opened. Josh looked up over his sunglasses at Jake, “I don’t even want to think about vodka right now.” Jake and Danny laughed and you shot Josh a sympathetic look from across the table. You took a sip of your black coffee, something you only craved when you were hungover. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink coffee black. Last night really killed you, didn’t it?” Danny asked from his spot across from you. You nodded your answer before turning back to the menu. 

“Huevos rancheros, thank god,” Jake muttered from beside you. “That’s definitely what I’m getting,” you said, closing your menu decisively. Jake shot you a smile, “good choice. Great minds think alike.” Jake pointed to Josh and whispered to you. “He’s going to get eggs benedict, and I will bet money on that.” You chuckled before shaking your head. “I know better than to bet against a twin.”

Sure enough, Jake was right- Josh ordered eggs benedict with a side of potatoes. Danny got a BLT and you and Jake ordered huevos rancheros. “A BLT? At,” you checked your phone, “9 am?” He nodded, “I don’t usually love breakfast food. And I’m always down for a BLT.” Josh pointed at him. “Daniel, bacon IS a breakfast food. As is the toast that it comes on.” Danny rolled his eyes. “The lettuce makes it a lunch or dinner food. Or brunch. I’ll give you brunch-adjacent at best,” Danny replied, and Josh chuckled.

The four of you discussed plans for the day and the three musicians discussed the setlist. “Look, I’d like to never do Highway Tune ever again,” Josh said, pausing to take a bite of his food before continuing. “Shit is overplayed, overrated and just… I’m ready to cut it from the setlist. Forever.” 

Jake shook his head, “it’s what got us here, Josh. It stays.” Josh raised his hand, about to continue when Danny spoke up. “Why don’t we do some sort of combination? Add something to Safari? Give them both, but mashed up? You know how much they love it when we give them something different. And, this way you don’t have to sing the whole thing, but we still pay homage to the original stuff,” Danny added, giving a compromise. Josh sat back, giving his suggestion some thought. “What do you think?” Josh asked, turning to lock eyes with you as he waited for an answer. “Oh, I am not the person to be asking. I’m not even completely sure what songs you’re talking about” you said, raising both hands up.

Danny pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned it to show you a music video playing on the screen. “This one is Highway Tune,” he said and you turned the volume up just enough to hear the song. You gasped as soon as you saw the band come into view. “How long ago was this?” you asked. 

“Has to be about… seven? Eight years?” Jake replied, taking another sip of his coffee. “And that’s you?” you asked Josh as you turned the screen to show him. He nodded slightly, giving you a reserved smile. “God, you guys were so young. It’s crazy to see how far you’ve come,” you mused as you watched the video, taking everything in. 

“I will say, I think our style has evolved. Thank goodness,” Danny pondered with a chuckle. “I don’t know… I think the completely ripped shirt was a good look for Josh,” you replied with a laugh. Josh rolled his eyes, “let’s not talk about it.” 

“No, let’s!” Jake shot back, pointing at him. “You were such a hotshot back then. Would you believe that he pulled the most girls out of all of us? Looking like a guy straight out of a frat. Do you remember that one girl that produced the video for us? At the bar? Such a classy guy,” Jake reminisced, Josh clearly uncomfortable as he fidgeted with the napkin on the table in front of him. “Or,” Danny continued, “the one girl Texas? Where we had to wait outside of her apartment in the van because her roommate was home? God, that was hilarious. Luckily it only took about five minutes, but I remember Sam was so high that…” “Okay. That’s enough.” Josh snapped, giving Jake and Danny a look before looking over to you. Clearly they’d hit a nerve.

“Well,” you started, wanting to change the conversation, “if Safari Song is the other one similar in sound to this one, I think it’ll be a good mix. Maybe worth a try? Don’t listen to me though, I don’t know anything about music,” you finished. Luckily your food came out, providing another distraction. Josh nodded after taking a bite of his food, “I’m down to try it at sound check.” You all turned to face Jake who rolled his eyes but nodded in agreement.

“What will Sam think?” you asked, breaking the silence. “I don’t think he will care. He likes Highway okay, but he’s always down to do some creative mixing. He was the one that suggested adding snippets of new songs into stuff on the last few tours,” Danny added as he took another bite of his sandwich. Danny pulled the waiter to the side and gave him the to-go order for Sam. The rest of breakfast was spent discussing how the mashup would work, Josh adamant that he would not be singing more than a few lines from the one song.

“You really don’t like that song, do you?” you asked Josh as you all headed back towards the hotel. “No, I don’t. Least favorite one out of all our discography. It’s just…” he paused, picking the right word. “Stale.” You laughed at his choice. “Stale?” you questioned, and he nodded. “I don’t know how else to describe it. It’s just… old. It’s not us anymore. Neither is Safari, but I’d rather do that one.” 

You nodded as you walked side by side. “Like, is there just something you never want to make another one of? Like a specific piece?” he asked, trying to help relate his feelings to yours. You thought for a minute before replying. “I’d be happy to never make another jumpsuit.” He looked at you, his eyes wide before you started laughing. “Josh, I’m kidding. I love the jumpsuits! To be honest, there’s not really anything I don’t like to make. I can get pretty tired of doing beadwork and repetitive motions, but everything I do is different. Kind of like how each time you perform, there’s something different. The crowd, the venue, the specific way you sing each part.” He thought for a minute, taking in what you’d said. “You know, you’re kind of right,” he replied, clearly thinking more deeply.

Everyone returned to their rooms for a bit and you chose to take a quick shower. You slicked your hair back into a ponytail before putting a more professional outfit back on and doing a light application of makeup. You were packed up and back on your bus within an hour, ready to head to the venue. Albert boarded the bus a few minutes after you, walking back to visit before everyone was ready to get on the way.

“How are you doing Albert?” you asked as he shuffled past you, peeking into the closet to view the outfits you’d been working on. “Oh, I’m just dandy, sweet girl,” you said, turning to give you a smile. “Can I touch them?” he asked, pointing to the suits hanging on the left side of the closet. “Of course!” you replied, turning your desk chair so you could face him. 

You watched as his weathered hands moved carefully over the floral embellishments on the side of Jake’s suit for Georgia. “You are truly talented,” Albert whispered, giving you a wide smile as he pointed to Josh’s Georgia jumpsuit. “I love the yellow. What show is yellow?” Albert asked. “They’re for Georgia. I don’t know why, but I just felt like Atlanta needed some yellow,” you replied, and Albert nodded. “I like that. You’d think Florida would be yellow for being the sunshine state,” Albert said. “I thought about that. But I am doing red for Florida, switching it up. It was actually Jake’s idea- he wanted to end on red for the first leg of this tour, and I felt like that was a good idea. Ending at the beginning almost,” you said, watching as Albert ran his hands over Josh’s red jumpsuit. Albert chuckled as he turned back to face you. “He’s almost like Elvis isn’t he? With the jumpsuits?” You nodded and gave Albert a smile. “Elvis, but with a bit more rock. Little more modern too,” you added.

As if on cue, Josh walked back into the workspace, sitting down on the bench with a huff. “We were just talking about how you and Elvis have so many parallels,” you told Josh, his face cracking into a smile. “He may have me beat on the heartthrob level, but I have a better vocal range,” he said with a laugh. Albert chuckled as he headed back up to his seat. 

Josh’s face fell and he turned to you. “Can I ride with you? They’re driving me nuts trying to figure out how to combine the two songs. I don’t know why it must be done by tonight, but Sam liked the idea and now it’s all or nothing,” Josh said as he rubbed his temples with his thumb and pointer finger. “Of course, Josh. You never have to ask- you’re always welcome to ride with me,” you replied, giving him a soft smile. You pointed to your backpack, “do you want some Advil?” 

Josh nodded, “I could use some. My head is killing me.” You fished the bottle out of your bag and handed it to him as you walked over to the mini fridge in the kitchenette. You returned with two bottles of water, exchanging one for the bottle of pills back. You both took two pills and laughed after swallowing them with some water. “I feel like no matter what, we are always in sync,” Josh said with a smile as he leaned back against the pillows on the bench. You nodded in agreement, reflecting on how true the statement was.

Josh relaxed back into the pillows on the bench, watching you as you did a double check of everything you’d need for the night. “I’m sorry about the vulgarity of some of the topics at breakfast,” he said after a moment. He was more relaxed, the medicine starting to work on relieving his headache. 

“It’s fine. I feel like we all were a little crazy in our late teens and early 20’s,” you replied, giving him a smile. “I really wasn’t. They made it seem like I was this jerk, just hooking up all the time. I promise that I really wasn’t,” he added. You turned to give him a shrug. “Even if you did, it wouldn’t matter. Although I don’t think you could have ever been a jerk. Ever.” He chuckled. “You’d be surprised. The ounce of fame we had went to my head a little too fast. Front man syndrome. I’d like to think I’ve settled into things well though,” he said quietly. “Josh, you’re a good person. Solid. A good head on your shoulders. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” He nodded slowly, his eyes trailing up to meet yours. “That means a lot coming from you.”  

You both settled into your own quiet routines- you busying yourself with preparing the clothes for that night’s performance, Josh flipping through his sketchbook. By the time the bus pulled into the backlot of the venue, Josh was fast asleep and snoring lightly, his leg twitching every so often. You texted the group chat

You: Josh is passed out. What time do you guys have sound check?

Danny: Emily said we have about an hour. We are still working on this combo but will come get him when we need him.

You stood and went to lower the curtains on the windows in the workspace and close the curtain dividing the front and back of the bus before laying on the opposite bench. They’ll get me up when Josh gets up. You turned to watch him, the rhythmic rising and falling of his chest lulling you to sleep.

-----------------------------------------------------

The lights flipped on, rudely waking you from your sleep. Sam was staring down at you and jumped back when you opened your eyes. “God, I didn’t think you were breathing there for a moment,” he said, leaning forward to pat your arm. 

“What the fuck are you being so loud for,” Josh mumbled as he sat up. “I am not being loud,” Sam shot back, turning to face his brother. “Sam, I hate to break it to you, but you’re almost always loud,” Jake replied as he leaned against the wall of the bus. “We need our front man,” Sam said, turning and starting to pull Josh up from the bench. “We need an objective third party too,” Sam added, turning to you and reaching his hand out to help you up off the bench. 

“What am I being objective to,” you said as you and Josh followed them off of the bus. “We need you to listen to what we came up with. See if it’s any good,” Sam said excitedly as he skipped down the stairs. “I think it’s going to be really good. Really get people excited,” Sam added as he started towards the venue.

You gave Jake a look as you walked, and he shrugged. “We won’t know until we hear it all together,” he admitted. Danny was walking behind you with Josh, explaining something he’d scribbled out on a piece of paper.

Once you got inside the venue, you all walked in the direction of what you figured was the stage. You popped out a side door and ended up in the general admission area on the floor, security from the venue following behind you. “Well, I guess we are almost in the right place,” Sam said with a grin before taking off across the arena floor, reaching a full sprint as he ran towards the barricade. You all watched him run, laughing as he slid into the barricade, tripping as his feet got caught up in the metal feet of the fence. 

Jake grinned at you before doing a cartwheel and landing on his butt, leaning back and laughing from the floor. Danny and Josh watched the shenanigans from over the paper they’d been studying, both of their heads tilting back as they laughed. Josh handed Danny the paper and started strutting towards the stage, switching the way he was theatrically walking with every few steps. You couldn’t help but laugh as you watched him- something about the almost cartoon way he moved absolutely tickled you.

You and Danny walked to the stage normally, watching as the Kiszka brothers made their way up onto the stage, continuing their antics. “Have they always been like this?” you asked. Danny grinned, “always. Some things never change.” Danny made his way up onto the stage and you leaned against the barricade, watching as they sorted out their gear.

Josh came over to the edge of the stage while his brothers got their instruments tuned and adjusted. He had his in-ear monitors slung around his neck and a microphone in hand as he came and plopped down on the edge of the stage, kicking his feet over the edge. “See, now, if I had this view each night, I don’t think I’d ever get nervous,” he said with a chuckle as he placed a monitor in his left ear. Does he mean me? Or probably the empty space. 

“It’s so quiet without the fans,” you mused, turning to look out across the arena. “To think that every space will be filled is just… surreal,” you said after turning back to face him. “It is. It’s a dream,” he replied. He pointed to Jake, who was bent over, discussing something with one of the sound people. “It’s really his dream but,” Josh pointed to Sam and Danny, “I think we are all happy to be along for the ride.” 

You grinned, “I didn’t think designing for a band would be my dream, but here we are.” He gave you a wide smile as Jake walked up behind him, nudging his leg with his foot. “Come on, let’s give it a shot,” Jake said, leaning forward to offer Josh a hand as he helped him up off the floor.

The creative process behind their music was unlike anything you’d ever seen. It was a true four-way collaboration as they all worked together to create something completely new, yet familiar. The band may have been Jake’s dream, but the talent each member had was undeniable. Watching these men go from doing cartwheels and goofing off to absolute craftsmen, oozing rock n’ roll and talent as they worked out kinks in the song was astounding. These were two completely different sets of people. They were congruent, yes, but the group on stage was not the same as the men you’d sat and had breakfast with earlier in the day.

Once they’d sound checked another, full song, they all came up to the front of the stage. You were still staring in wide-eyed amazement when Danny talked, breaking your trance. “What did you think?” he asked as he handed his drumsticks off to an assistant before sitting down on the edge of the stage.

“Amazing,” you answered quietly, unable to give more than that. “Well, that’s a given,” Sam said as he slid off the stage. Sam tried to vault over the barricade but ended up falling back into Jake, who had also jumped down onto the main floor. Danny pushed the barricade aside and the rest of them filed out onto the main floor. “Give us an actual review, please,” Jake asked as you all headed back the way you came. 

“I can see why people fight for a spot at the barricade,” you answered honestly. “You guys are beyond talented. It’s truly something special seeing you guys together,” you added, hoping you weren’t overdoing it. Josh bumped your shoulder with his, giving you a grin, “I’m glad you liked it.”

Emily appeared above you, leaned against the railing of one of the seated sections. “What the hell are you doing down there?” she barked. “Well, we finished sound check and…” Sam started. Emily pointed towards the doors at the back end of the arena, “they’re about to let GA in! Get the hell off the floor!” Everyone exchanged panicked looks as you took off towards the side of the giant arena, looking for the doors you’d come through.

You had all barely made it through the doors to the backstage area when you heard the crowd enter the arena. Sam opened the door just enough for you all to watch the fans file in, security shouting as they attempted to control the chaos. Everyone watched in silence as they watched the various people and groups coming onto the arena floor. 

“We like to read the signs,” Danny whispered from beside you, pointing out the various signs people were holding. “Oh, that is lewd,” Jake said with a laugh, pointing out a girl holding a not-so-subtle sign about a blowjob. “And look at that, she’s a Danny girl,” Sam laughed as he slapped Danny on the shoulder. Danny shook his head and rolled his eyes. “They are definitely going to confiscate that,” Josh said, pointing to a girl carrying a flag with a giant meme featuring Jake on it. “God, I hope not. That shit is hilarious,” Jake replied as he laughed.

After a few minutes of people watching, you all headed towards backstage. “I need some lunch. Or dinner. Whatever time it is, I’m hungry” Sam grumbled. Sam spotted Emily in Jake’s dressing room and yelled her name.

Emily came over to the group, looking incredibly puny. “Emily, are you okay?” Danny asked. She nodded and went to sit in a chair outside the room. “Great. What’s up?” she asked. You gave her a look. She hasn’t told them she’s pregnant? 

“What’s for lunch? Dinner? Linner?” Sam asked. “Uh, barbeque. And seafood,” Emily said, making a face. “What’s wrong with barbeque? I thought that was something you liked,” Jake said, watching Emily as she shifted in the chair. “No, I do just… not today,” she answered with a weak smile. Sam backed up slowly, “are you sick? I am NOT getting another stomach bug on tour, I will NOT!” Sam exclaimed, raising his hands. 

“I’m not sick,” Emily started, looking at everyone’s concerned faces. “I’m actually pregnant,” she said after a beat, looking from person to person in order to gauge their reactions. Josh was the first one forward, carefully pulling Emily into a hug. “Congratulations,” he whispered, squeezing her shoulders gently as he pulled back from her. Jake was next, giving her a careful hug as he rubbed her back lightly. Sam pointed at her belly as he moved forward. “This was a planned baby? Or?” he asked, and Emily laughed. “Not really planned so much, but we are happy about it!” she answered as Sam hugged her. Danny was last to move forward, pulling her into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. “I’m so excited for you,” he said softly, and she pulled back, tears in her eyes. Sam turned to you, noticing your smile. “You knew?” he asked, and you nodded. “I needed help reading the test,” Emily clarified.

Sam looked at her, suddenly worried. “Does this mean you won’t be with us for the entire tour?” Emily nodded. “I probably won’t be going out of the country. But Jack is very capable and will be taking over more of my job in the next few weeks.” Everyone nodded, clearly saddened, but also excited for what was to come.

Emily headed out to check on “linner” as Sam was calling it, and everyone went their separate ways. You rounded up a couple of venue staff to get the outfits for the night’s show from the bus. You carried Josh’s jumpsuit in and directed where each of the other outfits went before knocking on Josh’s door. He opened it and stepped back to let you in. 

Josh grinned as he watched you hang the jumpsuit up on the rack against the far wall. He came over to inspect it, running his hands over the fabric flowers adorning the black sparkly material. “These need to be in a museum somewhere,” he mused. “Yeah, the rock n roll hall of fame,” you said with a chuckle. He tilted his head as he thought. “Maybe. But I would make sure your name was in bold on the plaque.” 

You laughed and brushed him off. “Yeah, put my name right under yours and ‘one of the greatest vocalists of our generation,’ that’ll be hilarious!” He wasn’t laughing though when he turned to look at you, his face serious, “I really don’t think you realize how talented you are.” You chuckled. “If I’m good enough for you guys, then I must be pretty good. And I’ll take that,” you replied. He nodded, finally at least slightly pleased with your answer.  

Sammy popped his head into the room and looked from you to Josh and back again. “Linner is here!” he said quickly before popping out as quickly as he’d appeared. You and Josh shook your heads but followed behind him.

“Carolina barbecue is unmatched,” Danny murmured as he took another bite of his food. “Whatever,” Sam replied as he rolled his eyes. “Don’t start,” Jake warned, knowing Sam was about two seconds away from a rant about meat eating and sustainability.  “You just don’t want to hear it because it’s true and you know it,” Sam shot back and Josh raised his hand, Sam falling silent. “You get it,” Sam whispered to you and you smiled, appreciating whatever alliance you could get with him. You thought back to the first week of the tour and how different things had been.

Josh finished first and threw his plate in the trash. “I’m going to go get ready,” he said, giving the group a smile. “Josh, we have…” Sam checked his phone, “two hours.” Josh nodded, “I know. Just a little antsy. It’s fine.” He turned and disappeared into his dressing room and you watched as Jake and Danny exchanged looks. 

“I thought he had gotten over that,” Danny whispered. “What?” you asked, concerned over what they were clearly worried about. “Josh used to get really anxious before shows. Back for a few years with some of the bigger venues and stuff. We’d know he was struggling a little bit when he’d get ready super early and just sit, completely ready. He hasn’t gotten ready this early in… a while,” Danny explained as Jake nodded. “I’ll go check in,” Jake said as he rose from his seat. You all watched him go and you couldn’t help wishing you knew how to help.

You, Danny and Sam chatted for a few minutes before Jake returned. “He asked for you,” he said after settling back into the couch. “Me?” you questioned, and Jake nodded. “Is there something wrong with the jumpsuit?” you asked, slightly panicked. “No, no, I think it’s fine. I know he had a question about something, but I don’t think it’s anything bad,” Jake clarified. You nodded and headed towards Josh’s dressing room.

The door was slightly open so you walked in, knocking on the door as you entered. Josh was sitting on the couch in his dressing room, his black jumpsuit a stark and glittery contrast to the beige couch. He smiled when he saw you and patted the couch next to him. “What’s up? Everything fit okay?” you asked as you leaned forward, waiting for his permission to touch the front of the jumpsuit to double-check the fit. He nodded and you gripped the fabric, slightly adjusting it. “Everything is fine,” he said quietly, “I just needed a calm presence.”

You slowly looked up at him. “Me? Calming?” you said with a chuckle, “I don’t feel like I am.” He shook his head, “no, you’re very calming. Soothing. Your aura and everything.” You took a second and nodded. “Well, then I’m here. To be a calming presence,” you said with a smile. He nodded and stood, going to the table in the corner of the room. “Do you want a hot toddy?” he asked, and you nodded. “Sure. Just put like, half the whiskey you put in yours in mine please,” you added with a chuckle, and he gave you a salute in response.  

You and Josh sat in comfortable silence as you both sipped on your warm drinks. Josh looked a little funny fully dressed in his elaborate jumpsuit and you in your normal clothes. He was slightly more relaxed, the whiskey helping take the edge off. Jake came in a little while later, Danny trailing behind him. They showed off their outfits, doing a little spin for you to see the entire thing. 

“Feel good?” you asked, and they both nodded. “I love the boots,” Danny added, turning to show Jake the embellished flowers you’d painstakingly added to the sides. “Those are cool as hell,” Jake said as he bent to examine them closer. “Can I make a request for flower shoes?” he asked, and you nodded. “Your boots for Georgia have flowers. It’s part of the fabric, but still pretty cool,” you replied. He grinned in agreement as Sam flew through the doors. 

“They said we gotta go now,” he said out of breath as he spun quickly to show you the fit of his suit. Sure enough, the stagehands were gathering outside of the dressing room, Emily appearing and calling for the group to hurry. “Good luck!” you said to them as you reached forward to quickly squeeze Josh’s hand. He turned to face you. “You got this. Just another show, just like the others,” you said quietly, and he nodded. He squeezed your hand back before letting go and following his brothers down the hall and towards the stage.

You watched the show from the TV mounted on the wall in Josh’s dressing room, working intermittently on some more sketches for the outfits for the rest of the tour. The show went as it always did- absolutely perfectly. The group was perfectly in sync even though they decided not to play the mashup that night. You watched the encore and waited for them to enter the dressing room after they had exited the stage. It was always surreal to see them on the screen and then, moments later, standing right next to you.

Danny was the first one back, waving to you from the hall as he headed to take his shower. Sam was next, coming to hand you his jacket, which he had taken off while on stage. Josh was next and he walked into the room, clearly preoccupied and deep in thought. He closed the door and started to unzip his jumpsuit, pulling it down and off his arms and chest. The fabric slid down past his waist, slinging dangerously lay on his hips. 

You cleared your throat, reminding him that you were still here. He turned to look at you, wide-eyed, as he pulled the fabric back up slightly. “Shit, sorry!” he exclaimed, and you turned to gather your stuff up, shoving it into your bag as you headed towards the door. “No, my fault! It’s your space, I don’t even know why I am in here,” you mumbled. 

He reached out to gently grab your arm. He was warm and his touch sent a jolt of electricity up your arm. “You don’t have to go. I will just refrain from getting butt naked out here,” he chuckled, and you relaxed. “Unless…” he joked, raising an eyebrow. “Nope, I’m going to get a pretzel” you said quickly as you headed back out the door.

You leaned against the wall after you had closed the door, waiting until you heard the shower start on the other side of the door to breathe. You zipped your backpack and slung it over your shoulder as you left in search of a pretzel.

As you walked and asked for directions, you thought about what had happened. Something about the way the fabric had just draped, barely covering him, made your stomach do flips. The way he didn’t want you to leave, had reached out for you. He was just being nice. You shook your head and turned to watch the groups of people leaving the arena.

You found a stand still selling food and purchased a cup of pretzel bites and stopped by a bar for a margarita. You headed back to the backstage area, the security guard luckily recognizing you. As you headed back through the barricade, you heard a commotion behind you. You turned to see a group of fans waving at you and gesturing for you to come over to them. You obliged, although your previous experiences made you nervous.

“Hey,” one girl greeted, giving you a smile. You nodded and smiled in greeting and waited for the group to speak. “We were wondering… we’ve seen you a lot. On twitter and stuff,” one girl started, talking quickly. “Are you dating Danny?” another girl interrupted, her tone serious. You chuckled and shook your head. “No, I’m just their designer. I am not in a relationship with any of them. Well, beyond friendship,” you answered honestly. The group nodded and you could tell that only some of them believed you. “I promise,” you continued with a smile. The group chattered and you waved to them as you turned to leave. “Have a great night!” you said with another smile before walking back down the hall and taking a long sip of your margarita.

When you got backstage, you noticed that everyone was packing up and getting ready to go. Sam pointed to your cup of pretzels, and you held it out, letting him take one. “Shit, these are good,” he mumbled. You offered Jake one and he shook his head. “I’m just ready to go to sleep,” he said, clearly exhausted as he shifted his weight from one side to the other. 

Josh was the last one out and emerged with his wet curls still clinging to his face. “We ready?” he asked, and the group turned to look at you. They were all carrying their own clothes, something you weren’t used to seeing. “Here, let me take these,” you started, but they turned away. “We can carry it out, it’s fine,” Danny said. You shrugged and took the boot box off the table “I’ll never turn down help.” “Shall we?” Jake asked and Emily, who had appeared at the end of the hall, nodded.

Everyone placed their outfits where you instructed on the wardrobe bus. Jake, Sam and Josh told you they’d see you at the hotel before heading to their own bus. “Can I sleep here?” Danny asked, gesturing to one of the benches. “Of course,” you said as you began your cleaning process. “Sam has continued to talk in his sleep, and I need a break. It's always quiet on your bus,” Danny explained as he laid down on the bench, watching you as you worked.

You looked up and smiled at Albert as he made his way back to you and Danny. “Alright, we are about four and a half hours away and will be stopping for gas and snacks about halfway,” Albert said, giving you a smile. “Perfect. Thanks for keeping us updated,” you replied, Danny agreeing. Albert gave you both a nod before heading back to his seat.

You worked on quietly cleaning the clothes as Danny fell asleep. He mumbled a little in his sleep too, and you chuckled at the irony. Before you knew it, the clothes and shoes were cleaned and neatly put away. You had started your fifth check over the clothing for the South Carolina show when the bus came to a stop. Danny was still fast asleep, and you decided you’d ask the others if you should wake him. You got off the bus and waved to Albert, who was filling the bus’s gas tank. You shivered as you walked towards the other bus, where Jake and Sam were coming down the stairs.

“Danny is asleep, I didn’t know if I should wake him,” you said. Jake shook his head, “nah, let him sleep. We left Josh asleep too. We will get them some snacks for later, but they’ll probably just sleep until we get there.” You nodded and followed them towards the convenience center part of the gas station.

You felt a hand reach for yours and you jumped, twirling quickly to see who had touched you. You swung around and saw Josh, hair a mess and eyes partially closed, reaching out for you. He was clearly still half-asleep. “I thought I heard you out here,” he said with a grin as he threaded his arm through yours and headed in the direction of his brothers. “I thought you were asleep?” you asked, and he chuckled. “Yeah, but I’m up now. I’m not one to miss out on a gas station taquito,” he replied with a grin. You scrunched your nose and shook your head as you both walked into the gas station and headed your separate ways.

“We got Danny’s order,” Sam said when you approached the counter with your picks. “Great, thanks,” you replied with a smile as Jake gestured to the clerk about what items to put in what bags. Josh was the last to the counter, half a taquito sticking out of his mouth. “Josh, you literally have drool on your face,” Sam teased and Josh shot him a deadly look as he placed his items on the counter and wiped at his face with the sleeve of his shirt. Jake paid for the order and handed you the bag containing the items for you and Danny. “See you on the flip,” Sam said with a salute as he headed back onto the bus. Jake nodded to you and Josh squeezed your shoulder before climbing back up the stairs to their bus.

You fished out the Reese’s cups from the bag and handed them to Albert after you had boarded the bus. “How’d you know?” he asked, and you laughed. “Your wife always packs you Reese’s cups, I see them in your lunch! I figured you like them at least a little,” you clarified. “You’re the best,” Albert said with a gracious smile. “Need me to heat this up?” you asked and gestured to his coffee cup. “It’s still warm! Thank you though. You’d better settle in, we have probably another three hours to go,” Albert replied and you gave him a smile before heading back towards the workspace.

Setting the bag on the table, you quickly removed Danny’s items and placed the drink in the fridge. You set the food out on the side of the table closest to where he laid, still fast asleep. Cracking open your Gatorade, you took a few sips as you watched Danny sleep. 

He looked so peaceful, his mouth slightly open as he breathed deeply, his hands resting gently on his chest. You dug in the bag for your nerds gummy clusters and opened the package carefully before shaking a few into your hand. Something about the crunchy, sweet and tangy candy quieted your brain. You ate a few more before setting the package on your desk and getting back to checking the clothes for tomorrow’s performance.

 ___________________________________________

You woke up to Danny gently rubbing his hand along your arm. “Hey, we are here,” he said quietly, seemingly still half-asleep himself. You nodded and pushed yourself up to sit on the bench where you’d been asleep. Danny handed you your suitcase and backpack. “Thanks,” you smiled as you took the luggage and followed him off of the bus. “Good night Albert! Thanks for getting us here,” you said, giving the older man a squeeze as you headed off the bus. “Sleep well!” he replied as he turned to finish his post-drive checklist.

Sam handed Danny his luggage and everyone walked into the lobby together. Emily was sitting in the lobby and rose when she saw everyone. She was clearly tired- probably more tired than all of you combined as she worked to keep everything running smoothly while also growing a human. She handed out the key cards and reminded everyone of the schedule for tomorrow. “Tomorrow’s time is 2:00 pm for sound check, so we need to leave here by 1:00 pm to get there without issues. Breakfast is in the dining room from 7:00 to 10:00, although I doubt you’ll be awake for that, so food is on you. Good night,” she finished before turning and heading down the hall.

The ride up to the third floor was silent, everyone exhausted. You checked your phone, the time glaring at you. 3:15 am. “Well, I’m certainly not setting an alarm,” Jake said with a chuckle as you all filed off of the elevator. “We will see you guys at some point I guess,” Danny agreed, following behind Sam who was making a beeline for their room. “Good night everyone,” Josh said with a wave as he opened the door to his and Jake’s room. 

You slid your key into the door beside the twins and chuckled. “This whole floor and you got stuck next to us, how lucky,” Jake said with a laugh and you shrugged. “Better than with the two sleep-mumblers,” you replied and Jake nodded in agreement. “Night,” Jake said quietly, and you repeated the sentiment before closing the door.

You stripped off your clothes from the day and put on your pajamas, glad to be wearing something warm and comfortable. You went through the motions of brushing your teeth and washing your face before plugging in your phone and crawling under the fluffy duvet. You decided to set an alarm for 11:00 am, knowing you definitely needed to be up by then, before flipping the bedside lamp off.

_______________________________________________

The first thing you noticed was the flashing light, which was strange because the blaring alarm was practically shaking your bed. You shot up, taking in your surroundings for a beat before grabbing your phone off the charger. 4:23 am. The smell was familiar. Fire. You shoved your feet into your shoes and grabbed your purse before swinging open your door, surveying the hall. 

The hall was smoky, and you started to panic. You felt a hand on your arm, and you turned to see Josh grabbing onto you for the second time that night. This time, however, his eyes were wide with panic. “Come on, the stairs are that way,” Jake said, pulling both of you behind him. 

Jake pounded on Sam and Danny’s door, yelling as he did so. People were starting to flood into the hallway, the volume rising as people started panicking. The door flung open and a petrified Sam stood in the doorway, shirtless and in his underwear. “Sam, put on some fucking pants, let’s go!” Jake snapped as he pushed his way into their room. Danny was up and pulling on a sweatshirt, throwing clothes at Sam. “Does everyone have their wallets?” you asked, pulling Josh along with you into their room. Everyone did a quick mental check before you all headed out towards the stairs.

There were tons of people making their way outside, all of them seemingly coming from nowhere. Once you’d made it out to the parking lot, the group headed towards Emily and some of the other roadies who were standing by the buses and vans. You all turned to watch as smoke billowed out of the windows on the far side of the building. 

“What a fucking disaster,” Jake mused as everyone watched. “You can say that again,” Emily said, a hand protectively over her stomach. “Well, at least we have a place to sleep,” Danny sighed, pointing to the buses. “Did Albert and Dean make it out?” you asked, searching the faces for your friend. “I’m here!” Albert said as he walked around the corner of the bus, “can’t get rid of me that easily!” Everyone laughed, exhaustion clearly settling in. “Well, I’m going to sleep,” Sam said before heading onto the bus.

Everyone worked out sleeping arrangements, Emily deciding to take everyone who didn’t usually travel on a bus to the hotel down the street. She called and reserved the rooms, doing a head count as she coordinated. The guys, along with you, decided to just sleep in the bunks. As the rest of the group loaded into the vans, you finally felt like you could relax. Everyone got out, everything is fine. You continued to watch the firefighters working to contain the fire, which you’d found out was on the opposite side of the building on the second floor. The parking lot had started to empty as the hotel relocated people, the sun starting to rise.

It was only when you turned to get onto the bus that you realized Josh was still holding onto you, one arm around your waist. “Josh?” you said and he slowly turned his head to face you, still entranced by the ongoing action. “You okay?” you asked. 

You watched as he returned his consciousness back to himself, letting go of you. “Yeah, sorry,” he stammered as he took a step back, away from you. “It’s fine, Josh. But, are you okay?” you asked again. He nodded slowly. Jake turned to watch his brother, assessing him. “I think it’s time to get some sleep. Come on Josh, let’s go,” Jake said quietly as he reached for his twin. Josh nodded, following behind Jake. “Good night,” they mumbled to you as they headed towards their bus. You decided to do the same thing and unlocked the door to the wardrobe bus, locking it behind you before walking back to your bunk.

You laid there for a moment, letting the stress and worry wash over you. God, all my clothes. My toiletries. But I have my purse. And everyone is okay, that’s the important thing. You fell asleep with your mind swirling with the never-ending anxious thoughts.

­­­________________________________________________

A hand gently rubbing your arm woke you up. You slowly sat up and noticed Jake leaned into your bunk. “Hey, sorry to wake you. We wanted to see if you wanted to go to lunch before we head to the venue. Most of the team is going. The hotel is covering it because of the damage.” 

You nodded and shoved your feet out through the curtains as you sat up. “Is our stuff…” you started and Jake shook his head. “They aren’t letting anyone go back up into the hotel right now because of the smoke and they don’t know if there’s structural damage…” Jake continued on, although you couldn’t hear what he was saying. 

All of a sudden, the night came back into crystal clear focus and the realization hit you, your body going cold. Jake stopped, noticing your eyes widening and your face suddenly going slack. “Jake, my sketchbooks. With all my designs. And I had a panel for your Atlanta suit in my backpack. Oh my god,” you said in a quick, hushed voice. Tears welled in your eyes as you looked up at him, his face reflecting the panic likely etched on your own. “Shit,” was all he was able to utter before you started to sob, the panic and pain surging through your body.

You felt the bunk mattress sink down a moment later and you were pulled into someone’s chest. “All her sketchbooks were in her room, and a part of my suit,” you heard Jake explain to whoever was holding you.

“It’s going to be okay, alright?” you heard Danny whisper in your ear. You nodded into his chest as he held you. “What’s going on?” you heard Sam ask and Jake explained the situation. “Well, shit, can’t we just pay one of those firefighters to go get it? We don’t even know if our rooms were impacted,” Sam replied, his voice bouncing back and forth as he most likely paced. 

“They said it’s going to take at least another day to assess the structural damage before anyone can safely go in to get stuff or see just how bad everything is. It'll probably take longer than that though,” Danny said, shifting to talk to Sam. “Well, fuck,” Sam shot back, now frustrated. “My ukulele was in there. Our clothes!” Sam said, clearly exasperated by the heightened emotions. 

You wiped the tears off your face and turned towards Sam. You noticed Josh was now standing next to Jake, watching you closely. He had deep purple bags under his eyes, his face tired. You noticed how much the twins looked alike when they were both clearly exhausted. “You know what? Everything will work out. I’m an idiot for getting so upset, I’m really sorry. Let’s just go to lunch, and you guys can go do sound check and maybe some of us can go to Walmart or something and get some clothes to last us until the next break,” you said, trying to rally.

“You’re allowed to be upset. This situation sucks,” Danny replied, rubbing your arm. “You know what, you’re right. May as well just take on this adventure, right? We can all get matching shirts, it’ll be great,” Sam added, swinging to the other side of the emotional spectrum. You stood and straightened your clothes. “We all look a little ridiculous, so at least we will be in solidarity,” you said with a chuckle as you assessed everyone’s outfits. You were in a plaid winter pajama set, a stark contrast to Jake’s shorts and sleeveless tank top, Danny’s mismatched sweat suit, Sam in a pair of rainbow shorts and a hoodie, and Josh in one of the casual jumpsuits you’d made for him. Everyone realized how crazy you all looked and laughed along with you.

“How’d you manage to put that on in the middle of an evacuation?” you asked Josh as you headed off the bus. He pointed to his jumpsuit, “this?” You nodded and he shrugged. “It’s pretty easy to get on and off. And I already had it laid out to wear today,” he answered thoughtfully. “I know it’s easy on and off, I did design it,” you said with a laugh, gesturing to the closures. He gave you a smirk but said nothing else as you approached the group gathering between the two buses.

In the daylight, it was easy to see just how crazy everyone looked in either their pajamas, or the first set of clothes they’d been able to put on during the evacuation. “Alright everyone,” Emily shouted above the small crowd of about fifteen people. “We are all going to head down the street to the restaurant that the hotel has set up for lunch. While we eat, I need everyone to fill out a couple of sheets, one is of the belongings that you have left inside, and that’s for insurance purposes for the hotel. Another sheet will be of what kind of clothes, toiletries, et. cetera that you’re now missing that you’ll need for the next few stops. We will be doing a store run during sound check to try to get everything y’all need, so be specific. I have another couple of things to get signed by everyone, but we can discuss that at lunch. If y’all have any questions, some find me. And with that, let’s head to lunch!”

You were already amazed by Emily and her ability to be calm, cool and collected in all situations, but seeing her orchestrate a plan in a set of leopard pajamas and serious bedhead had you realizing she might actually be superhuman. Everyone walked together to the small Italian restaurant down the street, chattering about the events of the day. 

“This is the Dreams in Gold nightmare part two,” Josh said from next to you with a sigh. Sam nodded in agreement, “I think our tours will just forever be cursed.” “Don’t say that, or it’ll manifest,” Jake hissed, and Josh waved him off. “It’s too late- it’s already a shit show,” Sam replied, Josh nodding in agreement.

Everyone sat around a couple of big tables, a waiter passing out menus as Emily passed out the forms and pens. You scanned the lunch menu and made your selections before turning your attention to the forms. 

“Hey, what size pants do I wear?” Sam asked you from across the table, pen suspended in the air as he waited. “Your street size is probably a 30x32 and a large,” you answered. Jake turned to give you a look from his seat next to you. “Do me.” You thought for a moment. “32x30, medium,” you answered easily. “There’s no way you just know that” Jake replied, signaling you got it right. “I think you’re forgetting I have made you all countless outfits and know all of your measurements,” you replied with a laugh. Jake shrugged and went back to assessing the menu.

Josh leaned towards you from his spot on your other side. “Did I do mine right?” he asked in a whisper, pointing to his measurements. “Yes, those look right,” you replied with a smile. “Look right? Or you know they’re right?” he asked. “I’m pretty sure. Your jumpsuits are made a little differently than suit pants and their sizes,” you added, giving him a nudge. He rolled his eyes but nodded in understanding.

A waiter came around to take everyone’s orders. “I’ll do a tuna melt with sweet potato fries,” you told the man, a strikingly handsome guy about your age. He gave you a wink before moving on to take the other orders. Sam tapped his hands on the table in front of you enthusiastically. “A tuna girl too! We will be matching!” Danny made a face at Sam’s comment and Jake laughed. “Matching in smell,” Jake dug, Sam kicking him under the table. “Because your cheese steak with roasted cow is going to smell so much better,” Sam shot back, Jake laughing in response.

Everyone continued to fill out their forms as they ate, struggling to remember everything they had left in their rooms. “Did I take my camera in with us last night?” Sam asked Danny, who shrugged in response. “How much do you guys think toothpaste is worth?” Josh asked in regards to the question about how much your belongings were worth. 

“Yeah, I have no idea how much to value my sketchbooks at. The hours of time and creative energy is just… immeasurable,” you added quietly. “Easily worth a million, maybe even two” Danny replied with a smile, obviously trying to up your spirits. You put down a general guess based on your hourly rate and the hours you’d likely put into the designs. “Jake, how much is my iPad worth?” Josh asked and Jake laughed. “The one from like 2018? With the cracked screen? Maybe $20,” Jake replied. “No use getting a new one when the old one works,” Josh replied with a hint of sass.

After the meal, Emily gathered everyone’s sheets up. She caught you on the way out and pulled you aside. “Can you come help me get the items on everyone’s lists? We will compensate you, I promise,” Emily asked, her eyes tired. “Of course. I need to be back to double check everything with costuming though before they go on,” you replied, giving her a squeeze of reassurance. “We will be, don’t worry. I’m going to probably have to do everything in like, two shifts. At least. Because this,” she gestured to the lists in her hands, “is a lot.”

On the walk back to the hotel parking lot, you helped Emily sort through the paperwork. Danny walked alongside both of you, acting as another set of hands as papers were shuffled. Emily went to give a hotel administrator the paperwork outlining what everyone was missing as you climbed onto the wardrobe bus and prepared to make a master list of all the things you’d need to buy.

Everyone needed at the venue headed to sound check on the other bus while you, Emily and Ava prepared for the supply run. Ava had volunteered to help, ensuring that Olivia could take care of the social media side of things for the afternoon. 

“Okay, so for toothpaste, most people didn’t put a brand or flavor,” Ava said as she read the lists scattered across your workspace. “Well, they’re going to get what they get and not pitch a fit,” Emily replied, rubbing her temples. “Sounds good to me,” Ava said with a nod as she added ‘toothpaste- qty 15’ to the list. Going over everyone’s lists and figuring out how many articles of clothing and of what size was proving to be more difficult.

About an hour later, the three of you loaded into a van and headed to the local Walmart, giant list in-hand. You all worked well together and were able to get the toiletries sorted out within another half-hour, using tote bins and a sharpie to separate the supplies by person. Emily also consulted the rider list from the venues and texts to ensure the right products were being purchased.

Emily sat on a bench in the pharmacy area, stretching her back. “Onto clothes?” she asked, you and Ava nodding. “Do you think it’d be easiest if we each took five people?” Ava suggested and Emily nodded in agreement. “I do not want to do the boys,” Ava added, putting her hands up in defense, Emily agreeing. “I don’t mind doing them,” you replied with a chuckle. “They may not get exactly what they want, but hey, I’m pretty sure I can ensure comfort and fit.”

The three of you split up, Danny, Sam, Jake, Josh and your own totes laid out in your cart. Choosing clothes for yourself was easy, the other four a little harder. You decided to mess with Sam, his personality making it easy, as you picked out more colorful clothes. For Danny, you stuck with mostly tee shirts, grabbing a few pairs of jeans and casual pants. You stayed on track with Jake’s style, picking casual button ups and lighter pairs of pants. For Josh, you grabbed a pack of his signature white, long-sleeved tee shirts and a couple other staples.

Everyone reconvened at the checkout, equally surprised that the entire trip only took three hours. The checkout process took nearly another hour, but you were walking into the venue right at 6:00 pm, having made perfect time.

When you rounded the corner backstage, Sam was the first one you saw. You were surprised that he seemed to be the first one ready, sitting outside the dressing rooms in his suit as he ate a piece of pizza. The gold accents on the right side of his suit were a striking contrast to the pearls aligning the left side of the dark purple suit jacket. 

“If you get sauce on that, I will kill you,” you threatened as you walked over to him. He gestured to the stack of napkins in his lap and the plate he was holding directly under his chin. “I’m being careful!” he mumbled, his mouth full. You rolled your eyes and pointed towards the other rooms. “What’s the status?” you asked and waited for him to swallow. “Jake and Danny are good, Josh is having a zipper issue,” Sam answered, gesturing towards the furthest dressing room. “Shit, okay,” you said as you headed to find Josh.

You knocked gently on the door and heard Josh shout his approval as you entered. Josh had the jumpsuit partially on and was working with the zipper on the front of the jumpsuit. “I can’t get it to unzip,” he grunted, gesturing to the zipper. He released it and the jumpsuit fell loosely around his hips, the front dipping dangerously low. 

“Josh, are you wearing compression shorts?” you asked and his face paled. “I just wanted to make sure it fit before I got fully dressed,” he started, and you took a deep breath. “Okay, do you have a pencil?” you asked and he nodded, gesturing to the sketchbook and pouch of writing utensils he had on the coffee table. You rummaged through the pouch and found a sketch pencil. You held it out to him. “Okay, rub the lead on the zipper and then try to zip it up,” you instructed. He gave you a questioning look, “do what?” You gestured to the zipper and tried to explain again. “Here, you can do it, I’ll just push the fabric outwards,” he said, slipping his hand between his pelvis and the jumpsuit.

You swallowed before bending down to grab the zipper and start to rub the pencil tip along the metal. Josh was breathing slowly and deeply as he watched you work. “So, uh, what is that supposed to do,” he asked. “Graphite is a natural lubricant for metals, so it will hopefully help the slider over the chain,” you answered. He took a deep breath but kept his lower body completely still. You pulled the zipper upwards before trying to unzip the jumpsuit a bit more. Sure enough, your trick worked, and it unzipped easily.

“Oh, shit,” you heard come from the direction of the hall and you spun around to see Danny standing in the doorway, his eyes wide. You quickly stood up, turning to face Danny as you held up the pencil you had in your hand still. “Stuck zipper,” you offered, Danny’s eyes darting from you to Josh and back again. Jake walked in past Danny, clearly unaware of the position you’d just been in. 

“How do I look,” Jake said, doing a spin for you. You heard Josh shuffle into the bathroom and close the door, and you turned to focus on Jake. His suit was slightly more plain for this show, a deep purple base with golden accents on both the jacket and the pants. “Looks great! How do the shoes feel?” you asked, trying to change the subject. “Good!” Jake replied as he moved to take a seat on the couch in the middle of the room.

You turned to Danny and held the pencil out to show him. “The graphite acts as a lubricant for the metal mechanisms on the zipper,” you explained, and he nodded. “Lubricant?” Sam asked as he walked into the room, rattling the ice in his drink as he walked. “Yeah, Josh’s zipper was stuck,” Danny clarified as he moved to sit down next to Jake, pulling a pair of drumsticks and tape out of his back pockets.

Josh emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, fully dressed. “That was uh, a great trick,” Josh said to you, gesturing towards the pencil, which you’d placed on the table next to his sketchbook. “Yeah, you work in fashion for so long and you learn all kinds of weird things,” you replied with a chuckle, hoping the exchange was less awkward than you felt it was.

“Well, what do we think?” Josh asked as he posed for the group. The shape of the jumpsuit was fairly plain, but it was covered in iridescent tiles which shone purple, the color of the night, in the light. “Looks great,” Danny said with a tight smile. He looked great in his own outfit- deep purple pants with rhinestones along the sides and a black, sheer top with strategically placed embroidered flowers. “I think you all look really great in purple,” you added, all of them smiling in response. Emily stuck her head through the door. “Let’s go,” she said, gesturing for everyone to follow her.

You waved the group off as they headed towards the stage, Sam already barefoot. You looked around for his shoes, but realized it wasn’t worth it. “They’ll show up,” you whispered to yourself as you turned and headed in search of the pizza you’d seen Sam eating.

After walking back and forth along the entirety of backstage, you realized there was likely no pizza left. You texted Ava, whose number you had gotten during the shopping trip.

You: Did you see pizza anywhere?

Ava: Dave said it’s all gone. Want to go hit up one of the concession stands?

You: Yeah! Do you not have to film?

Ava: Nah, Tim the sound guy is covering for me. I’ll meet you by the bus exit?

You: Perfect!

You waited for Ava, who showed up within a few minutes. “I should’ve figured you’d already be back here,” she said with a smile. “What does that mean?” you asked with a laugh as you both headed in the direction of the main part of the venue. “You’re always back here, working on stuff! I don’t think I’ve ever seen you out on the floor,” she clarified. 

“Yeah, no, too many people. It’s nice and quiet back here- I’m able to get some work done which is good,” you replied. “Well, in Georgia you need to come out with me, see them in action. It’s a surreal experience,” Ava countered. You agreed to try it, knowing you’d probably come up with an excuse when it came time to deliver.

Ava ordered chicken fingers and fries and you got a baked potato from the first vendor you saw. You topped your baked potato with sour cream and cheese before heading back towards the backstage area. 

“I can’t believe you have to remake an entire part of a suit,” Ava said, shaking her head as you chatted on your way back. “It’s a bummer for sure. The beading was almost complete too. I can probably finish it tonight though, on the drive to Atlanta,” you replied, contemplating the amount of work you’d need to complete. 

“It’s only gonna be like, four hours. If that,” Ava added, balancing her food as she dunked a fry in ketchup. “I think I’ll simplify my original design, and it should be doable. I know we have the day off tomorrow, but I won’t be able to relax until it is done,” you continued, mentally piecing together the design as you walked. 

A worker from the venue recognized both of you and let you both backstage. “I think we are going to the zoo tomorrow too, I don’t think you’d want to miss that,” Ava added as she scooted past the worker, nodding her thanks as she slid past. “I definitely do not,” you said decidedly, knowing that Sam at the zoo would certainly be a sight to see.

Once you and Ava made your way backstage, you both sat and worked for a bit as you finished your dinners. Ava was editing a TikTok video she had been working on while also editing a marketing plan for new merch. You had begun redoing the sketches you could remember from the sketchbook you had been forced to leave behind at the hotel. 

“It’s crazy how different our jobs are,” you mused as you sat back in your seat, watching Ava as she hunched over her laptop. She paused and stretched, closing her eyes as she took a deep breath. “You got that right. Incredibly different, but essential.” You nodded in agreement before returning to the sketch you were working on. Ava leaned over to examine your work and you turned the book so she could see. “I know who that’s for,” she said with a smile.

You looked down at the design you’d been working on. It was clearly a costume for Josh, the outline of a jumpsuit giving it away. You’d been sketching the outline of his face, something you had recently started to do more often. You looked up when you heard the tell-tale commotion signaling the end of the show as the group headed back to their dressing rooms.

Sam was the first one you saw, jacket in hand and pants already unbuttoned. He was still barefoot, and you grimaced. “What?” he asked, noticing your face. “Your feet!” you replied, pointing. He lifted his foot to show you the bottom, which was completely black. “Disgusting,” you stated, rolling your eyes as Sam cackled at your reaction before disappearing into his dressing room.

Jake and Danny were next, completely engulfed in a conversation but pausing to give you and Ava a smile before heading to shower. Josh brought up the rear, Emily at his side. “She passed out,” Josh said, helping Emily into a chair. “I did not!” she protested, Josh lifting his brows in response. 

An EMT rounded the corner and Josh waved him over. It was quite a sight- Josh gesturing and explaining things to the medical worker in his fantastical jumpsuit, iridescent panels shining in the bright light.

 “And she’s… Em, how far along are you? In the pregnancy?” Josh asked, placing a protective hand on Emily’s shoulder as the EMT worked to get a blood pressure reading. “I… um… I think I’m about 12 weeks, but I’m not sure” Emily answered, her face pale. “Your blood pressure is pretty low. I’d like to take you in, just to get you and the baby checked out,” the EMT responded, and Emily waved him off. “We need to be on our way to Atlanta, I’m sure I’m just tired,” Emily responded, removing the blood pressure cuff.

Ava set her computer down on the table and went to sit next to Emily. “I’ll go with you Em. It probably won’t take much time and then we can head to Atlanta together,” Ava said quietly, giving Emily a reassuring smile. Emily looked up at Josh, who was standing with his hands on his hips. 

“I agree. And technically I’m your boss, so I feel like I have some pull in this situation,” Josh replied, giving her a soft smile that ensured he was serious, but it was because he cared. Emily nodded, but reached for her clipboard, calling out for Jack. He appeared and sat next to Emily as she handed over her clipboard, explaining all the details about the hotel and reservations for Atlanta.

The EMT finally convinced Emily to give it up when his partner showed up with a gurney. “I will not be getting on that,” Emily contested as she pointed to the apparatus. “It’s procedure,” the new EMT said with a smile that said he truly hoped Emily would go willingly. Josh offered Emily his hand and she took it before standing, shimmying onto the stretcher. Josh gave her a quick hug and you gave her a wave before the EMT’s took her down the hall, Ava trailing behind.

Josh turned to face you. He had unzipped his jumpsuit slightly and his hair was sweaty and clinging to his forehead. “You think she will be okay?” Josh asked, concern bubbling in his voice. “I’m sure she will be fine,” you ensured, giving him a small smile. Josh nodded and looked in the direction Emily had gone. “I guess I’ll go shower then,” he replied, and you nodded. You watched him go, his way of moving utterly effortless.  

What a day.

taglist: @eyelinerjake @radmads-gvf @gretavansara @everyglowinthetwilightknows @joshs-jonch

[tomatoluvr69]

yayyyyy @sonic-fizz tagged me to answer these 15 questions this is so old web core slayyyyyyyyyyyyyy love it thx <3

1. are you named after anyone

eh i was named after a grandparent in a slapdash way. like they just chopped off half the name and called it a day...

2. when was the last time you cried?

literally probably like 24-48 hours ago in the car thinking about how doomed i am (this is not true.). or maybe it was reading a sad article...i don't know. I tear up a lot but full on sobbing bawling was in mid-Dec and a more sustained sniffle crying was when i was hungover and miserable about my tortured loneliness and doom for the future on new year's day lol

3. do you have kids?

omg...no...the microplastics in my womb and doom in my genome and also i'm broke and single and american

4. what sports do you play/have played?

i swim but it's like in the way that other ppl take walks around the neighborhood a few times a week. sports were so fucking abysmal for me growing up that i feel i am unlikely to ever return

5. do you use sarcasm?

occasionally...i've grown out of it for the most part though. there are better ways to be funny in a lot of situations...i am silly goofy mostly, or use observational humor and wacky metaphors etc

6. what is the first thing you notice about people?

i'd love to be like 'a warm smile :-)' but if i'm being totally honest i'm scanning their clothing/hairstyle/grooming etc to scan for anyone likely to judge me based on my failure to conform to gender and modern consumerism...which isn't fair to others, i know......but sometimes you just see someone in like salon highlights barrel curls full makeup suburban drip and you're like hmmm eeeeeek scary! I think this is a vestigial defense mechanism from my relentless failure to dress right and be liked growing up. need 2 keep an eye out for the freaks and geeks and allies you know (but i'm so lucky to be in circles where everyone is dressing androgynously, having full on body hair everywhere, no makeup is the norm rather than the exception, funky used clothes and practical work/outdoors gear is the norm, etc. ok i'm getting off track...). i also notice people's height relative to my own bc i'm a bit insecure about towering over some people even though i'm not that tall.... :-( this stuff says way more about me than about anyone else... :-( i will say though that i'm pretty good about ignoring these first readings and giving people a chance once i get to know them. this is just the knee jerk first impression stuff

7. what’s your eye colour?

pale blue/grey. sorry :-/

8. scary movies or happy endings?

i like SAD ENDINGS of LOVERS' DEATHS and UNREQUITED PASSIONS and FAILED DREAMS and SCARRED MEMORIES....

9. any talents?

nothing like above and beyond. but there's a number of things i'm pretty sufficient at without trying too hard which is nice i guess. gardening, cooking from scratch w/o recipes, stringing together a sentence or a laugh...

10. where were you born?

my beautiful steel city...kisses 2 her majesty.......

11. what are your hobbies?

swimming gardening fermenting cooking writing reading going to indie films with friends of discerning tastes attending potlucks oh and LAYING FACE DOWN IN MY BED.....

12. do you have any pets?

i wish :-( renter problems......

13. how tall are you?

5’11" or so i have not been to the doctor in so many years LOL....

14. favourite subject in school?

hated school but hated the humanities the least...i loved my filmmaking class in college the most probably

15. dream job?

MOVIE DIRECTOR...FAMOUS AUTEUR NOVELIST...HOMEMAKER...

I tag @fieryphrazes, @iwrotemrtambourineman, @chriselliottfanblog, and @chekovsphaser from my notes recently...and literally anyone who wants to and is bored you can say i tagged you. in fact i would love to read it i think tag games are so fun and i love to read them ok yay byeeee

[meg2md]

My life, in two pictures:

Exhibit A, trying to get swole but only succeeding when the lighting is on point, and still failing at pull-ups by trying my damndest

Exhibit B, my re-ignited love of Naruto, as well as a new obsession with non-alcoholic beers

That being said, I did drink... way too much last night. I went to trivia and truly would have been okay with 1-2 beers, but then a friend came late and wanted a drink, and my other friend is going through a rough time and wanted to go back to my place and keep drinking... and truthfully at ANY POINT I would have been okay with an NA beer, and I know for next time that I shouldn't give in to peer pressure and keep drinking. I'm confident I wouldn't have kept drinking on my own (which used to be a problem in college and medical school - binge drinking!!) and that I can do better next time. So even though I was hungover today and felt a little bit ashamed, I was able to be there for my friend when she needed it, I still went to my tennis clinic, and I know next time I'll be able to intersperse more NA beers and overall drink less.

And honestly, overall the past few months I have been drinking DRASTICALLY less and it's been very good for my mental, physical, and emotional health. Go me. I'm very proud.

Despite it all I'm actually somewhat on top of things, even though I spent most of the morning sleeping in bc I stayed up until 2 AM with my friend drunkenly singing MCR and Evanescence, and then it took awhile after tennis for my hangover to go away and for me to feel awake enough after extreme physical exertion while slightly hungover to get anything done. But I mayyyyy have this abstract I've been working on ready to submit for SGS if all goes well, and I'm also hoping on to be a middle author on a project with one of my co-residents which will also get submitted to SGS! And I actually have two ORs I can go to next week to film this video idea I have - submissions for the conference I want are due 8/8 so it's pretty tight and stressful but doable. I'm just gonna be SUPER busy next week with video stuff, in the same way i was SUPER busy this week with the lit review/IRB prep for my other project.

I'm gonna go crash into oblivion. It's already been a week of my research block and me not needing to be at the hospital barely at all but I feel like it's gone by so fast since I've been relatively busy working on all the things above. I'm definitely not efficient - a more competent research-oriented resident could probably have done it in a fraction of the time. But hey, I'm at least being academically productive, AND I played tennis, AND I'm going to two concerts this month, AND I've been allotting video game time to the start of every morning I don't have to be at the hospital.

All in all I think it's actually worked out nicely that I didn't rush to get an away rotation together last minute. I have 3 projects to work on at home AND I get to do things I like around the the neighborhood like watch Naruto, play tennis, read, and go to the gym. And I saw a pic of my ex earlier and while I was a little sad and nostalgic, it didn't rip me up like it used to (yes it's been 1.5-2 years w/e I love swiftly and deeply lol), and it just further motivated me to kick ass and be super swole and hot and buff up my CV >:)

I'm gonna be p sad going back to real work when this block is over bc ngl it's p cush

[69bitterbeingz]

IF YOU'RE GONNA BE DUMB || CH. 8

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DISCLAIMER: This is a reupload from my prev account! best to follow the fic through ao3 [linked below] to avoid any future issues PAIRINGS - johnny knoxville, bam margera, steve-o, chris pontius, ryan dunn x female reader WARNINGS - swearing, drinking

ao3 version

Waking up to the sounds of sheep bleating and birdsong was much gentler on a hangover headache than police sirens and general city bustle. Granted, you couldn’t speak for everyone, but right now you were content to stare at your ceiling in serenity compared to shoving your face in the pillow at home. You reached for your phone to check the time and groaned when you saw 8:47 am - you knew if you didn’t get up yourself, somebody would wake you against your will, and frankly that wasn’t something you wanted to face. So, with creaking bones and a head too heavy for your neck, you clambered out of bed and shuffled to the door to hopefully score the bathroom first. Though, you froze when you stepped through the door, sucking the air sharply through your teeth and gripping the frame with a white knuckled grip. You glanced down, and despaired when you saw shiny, sharp fragments with flat tops. Tacks . You scowled at your feet, then scowled at whoever had emerged from down the hall.

“Ah, mornin’.” 

You pointed down, then at the man trying not to snigger at your obvious irritation.

“I’m getting you back for this, Knoxville.” He couldn’t hold back his laughter any longer as you started picking the tacks out of the soles of your feet one by one, wincing as you plucked each one. “Do you know how hungover I am right now? Too much for this shit.”

“It wakes you up though.” Johnny teased, patting your back when you were done. Your face very pointedly said ‘ that’s not funny’ , but he wasn’t too bothered. He leaned down and scooped the tacks up in his large hand. “I know what’ll cheer you up, let’s booby trap Jeff.” You hated to admit it, but he was right, it would make you feel better. You didn’t hem and haw much longer, just ushered him over to the other end of the hall.

Despite the not-so-ideal start, a couple painkillers [courtesy of Steve-O] later and you were ready for whatever stupid shit the guys had planned for the day. Though they directed you to drive through to Sunbury-on-Thames, they neglected to tell you what exactly was planned - and in their defence, you didn’t ask - but you had an inkling when you pulled into the car park of a rugby club. You sucked the air through your teeth, then tentatively glanced back at the guys in the backseat as Johnny and Chris started the camera.

“So we’re here in merry old England, and Mr. Pontius and I overdid it a little last night, and we’re about to practise rugby with the London Irish, a professional rugby team.”

Chris winced; “I do not feel good…”

“You’re about to feel a lot worse.” You mumbled under your breath, and they both failed to hold back giggles. They looked like utter shit honestly, shaking like dogs in an alleyway as they watched the team train out on the pitch. You probably looked just as bad but at least you weren’t about to get tackled to the cold hard dirt. 

“You know how much this is gonna hurt, yeah?” You asked, leaning over the metal rail while Johnny swung his leg back and forth, a weird way to stretch but if it works it works. Chris shivered, clutching his arms close to his chest.

“They’re pretty big boys…” It was probably the most apprehensive you’ve ever heard Chris be about grappling large men; Johnny laughed bitterly.

“I’m sure we can take ‘em.” He didn’t sound sure at all. Chris turned to you with puppy dog eyes.

“You gonna patch me up if I get killed out there?” You got it was a joke, but you were positive that at least half of him was serious. You rolled your eyes, smacking a hand on his shoulder and giving it a sympathetic squeeze.

“How am I gonna patch you up if you’re dead?”

“Do I get a patch up too, doc?” Johnny scooched up closer to you and hung his arm around your shoulders; he had such a habit of that now, and it always made your cheeks red. Nonetheless, you ignored it and nudged his ribs.

“Nah, you’re a goner too.”

“Thanks for having confidence in us.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

Then they were called up to start the stunt, so you bade them farewell and watched from the sidelines as Johnny was given a mouth guard and he started his intro.

“Hi I’m Johnny Knoxville, and this is rugby.”

Putting it bluntly, it was a bloodbath. To their credit, they really gave it their best shot, but they were no match for trained professionals double their size. It was kind of like watching a nature documentary, like when a pack of predators chase down the two prey animals that were unlucky enough to be separated from the herd. Not to say it wasn’t entertaining, because it was really entertaining, but you couldn’t imagine letting an entire rugby team tackle you to the grass, let alone doing it hungover . As you watched on in slightly concerned amusement, you couldn’t help but respect their dedication to the bit. They’d do damn near anything for good footage, huh? Could you officially label them as martyrs yet?

The players seemed disappointed when the camera crew called the end of the shoot - no doubt they had a good time throwing around such willing participants, but Johnny and Chris probably wouldn’t last much longer like that. It was all in good fun, the team lifting the guys up in the air at the end, but that didn’t mean Johnny wasn’t bloodied by it all. They nodded at the players, then limped off the pitch towards the awaiting crew. You winced when you took note of Johnny’s bloody nose, maybe you had a pack of tissues somewhere…?

“Hey, lookit us, not dead.” Johnny managed to smile through his aches and pains, making you grin with knitted brows. 

“Yeah, congrats on defeating all odds.” You rummaged around in your pockets to find what you were looking for, and once you had it in hand, you reached up to Johnny’s face and gently dabbed at the drying blood. He seemed taken aback, raised eyebrows and pursed lips, but he didn’t stop you from cleaning him up. His eye twitched when you nudged the side of his nose, and you frowned. “Does it hurt?"

“Uh, yeah, kinda.”

“It’s… probably not broken, at least.” 

Johnny didn’t seem to be listening, just stared at you and unknowingly leaned towards your light touch. He was about as clean as you could manage, without getting in there with a damp cloth to scrub away whatever dried on, but he looked better than he did before.

“You should get it checked out though. I mean, looks fine, but just in case, right?” You suggested, shoving the bloodied tissue back in your pocket and leaving your hand there to shield it from the frigid cold of the pitch. Johnny blinked, seemingly pulling himself out of the trance he was in. He smiled, a serene smile you weren’t quite sure you’d seen before, as if he just figured something out.

“...You’re real sweet, y’know that?” He asked, and it was your turn to be surprised. You didn’t need to respond, he just grinned wider and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, leading you to where the rest of the crew were stood. “You’re sweeter than you let on, don’t think you even realise. Just thought I’d tell ya.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to look him in the eye, feeling like a bashful teenager - man, what’s your deal? Thankfully, you didn’t have to dwell on it much longer.

“ Hey! ” Chris called from the distance, seemingly forgetting he was still in nothing but a jockstrap. “C’mon, we’re going for drinks!”

⋅───⊱༺ ♰ ༻⊰───⋅

It was twilight by the time the taxi reached your place, twinkly stars starting to light up the expansive sky. The hours following the shoot were a bit of a blur, pints upon pints washing away your brains into a slurry, just the way you liked it. Most of the crew hung back at the bar, but the Jackasses - namely Chris and Steve-O - had some bright ideas involving the sheep that populated the surrounding fields. So, you hopped out of the black cab and ran over to the fences separating the poor sheep from the real animals. 

“What if it bites my dick?” Chris giggled dopily, discarding his last beer bottle near the wood fencing. You were all standing a few feet from some grazing sheep, completely ignoring the presence of the four drunk idiots encroaching on their space. Johnny shoved Chris, giggling along with him.

“Bet you’d like that, huh?”

“ No way, man!”

“They’re not gonna fuckin’ do anything, they’re just sheep.” You added, unsteady on your feet as you pushed Chris as well. “Not like they got horns.”

“You’re not scared of sheep, are you?” Steve-O taunted, jabbing Chris’ arm, and he finally relented.

“Alright, alright!”

He ran up to the sheep, arms out wide as he prepared to scoop one up, but of course they all fled in different directions, baa- ing in defiance. It seemed to set off a chain reaction, sheep calling out across the fields to each other as if an alarm had been triggered. Maybe it had, maybe they were all warning each other of the weirdo charging at them like a wayward border collie. Johnny cackled with his whole body, throwing himself back before taking off after Chris, intending to do god knows what . You were starting not to care anymore as the world spun around you, the pin prick stars in the inky black sky swirling in long streaks over your head. The dizziness rattled your skull, your eyes feeling like they might pop out from the pressure, so you opted for sitting on the soft dewy grass instead. Your head soon steadied, though you still swayed ever so slightly from side to side. Without realising, you slumped backwards and hit the ground, but you didn’t mind. The sky was more inviting to look at than your shoes.

“Hey.”

A man was standing over you, buzzed head and enlarged pupils. 

“Heya.”

“You good?”

“Watchin’ the stars. ‘M not running after sheep, there’s shit all over the fields...”

Steve-O sat next to you, hugging his knees to his chest and craning his head up to look at the stars too. He took a swig of his beer as you started to ramble.

“It’s nice out here… can finally see the stars. No.. what’s it called? Light pollution, right? Never see the stars anymore.” You pouted at the thought. “You ever lived somewhere with nice stars?”

“Hm?” He hummed, turning his head so he could see your face, your cheeks and nose bitten red by the cold winds.

“Where were you before LA? Doubt you started there.”

Steve-O sniggered low and gravelly. “I was found in some flea market circus in Florida.”

“You say that like you’re a fuckin’... pound dog. ”

“Sure am.” He took another swig.

“Didn’t know you were in a circus.”

“I went to clown college, dude.”

“Well, that I did know…” You trailed off, watching an aeroplane steadily cross the sky. The lights blinked on and off in a hypnotic rhythm, and you suddenly remembered something from earlier. “Knoxville said I was nice…”

“Yea?”

“Yeah.”

“What about it?”

“Jus’ weird to hear.”

“Why’s that weird?” Steve-O snorted, letting go of his legs to lie down next to you. “You’re nice, not a big deal.”

“Even when I’m getting mouthy with bar security?”

Steve-O shrugged, grinning to himself. “You like to pick fights, who cares? Everyone likes to fuckin’ pick fights. Why are you so resistant to being called nice, anyway ? You’d rather be a total bitch?”

“I don’t.” You tried to think but it was just giving you a headache. “It’s not like that, I don’t… feel it is all. I don’t know.” You reached out in hopes he’d let you have a swig of his beer, but instead he bumped it against your head - fair enough. You let your arm fall to the ground in defeat. “...I don’t think Mila likes me.”

Steve-O pulled a confused face. “Mila…? Is he the blonde guy that lives with you?”

“Yeah, he doesn’t like me. He got pissy at me right before I came.”

“...Ok?” Steve-O shrugged. “Dude, who fucking cares if he doesn’t like you? Not everyone’s gonna like you, not your problem. Do you like him? ”

You paused; surely you must like him a little to agree to move in with him? Surely you like him a little if you formed a band with the guy? At the end of the day, you consider him a friend…

“Who gives a shit anyway, you got other friends.” Steve-O concluded, finishing his beer and tossing it away. In a drunken moment of vulnerability, you turned to Steve-O.

“Do you like me?”

He looked at you like you were being a total weirdo. “...Yeah, I wouldn’t hang out with you if I didn’t like you. Stop getting fucked up over nothing.”

With that, Steve-O got up and chased after Johnny and Chris, leaving you lying there in the grass. You weren’t quite lucid enough to dwell on your conversation in any meaningful way, so you simply let it wash over you as a thing that happened. Blindly, you patted down your pockets to find your phone, then flipped it open to check the time. However, you got sidetracked by a voicemail that was left for you from Bam. When did he call you? You didn’t even notice your phone ring…

“ [Y/n], hope you’re getting some decent shit out there. Me ‘n Dunn were talking, you should come down to West Chester when you get back, my brother’s band is playing a show and it’s about time you actually saw ‘em. Promise it won’t be lame, we’ll keep you entertained. Bet it’ll be more interesting than fuckin’ England, anyway.”

Beep.

You smiled to yourself, you need to remember to call him back. 

Clumsily, you got up from the ground and brushed the dirt off your ass. In the distance, you could hear whooping and sheep bleating, so you figured they were still occupied with tormenting those innocent sheep. You stretched your arms behind you, cracked your back, and started on your way towards them. When you finally appeared on the horizon, Chris was the first to notice you and ran up to you with a giddy smile.

“I grabbed one! It kicked like hell.” 

Looking down, you could see the red marks on his bare legs.

“I gotta get Knoxville back for the thumbtacks this morning.” 

“What do you wanna do?”

“Let’s drag him through sheep shit.”

[timeoverload]

Today felt like it was never going to end. It didn't start very well. I woke up at 2:30 again this morning because I was having another coughing fit. I drank too much water before bed last night and I didn't prop myself up. I should know better by now but laying flat is a lot more comfortable. It's so hard to get comfortable in this bed as it is. I really need to get my acid reflux under control but that's probably not going to happen until I start eating a more balanced diet. It took me 45 minutes to stop coughing so that was annoying. I was so mad because I was sleeping really well until that happened. I think I fell back asleep around 3:30. I had some weird dreams about being at work in the dark again. I woke up at 5:30 which is later than I like to get up. I only had 20 minutes to lay in bed before I had to start moving so that sucked. I don't like having to move right away so that made me grumpy.

Unfortunately I felt like a zombie all day. I wanted to go home so bad. I felt disoriented and hungover but I haven't had alcohol in a long time. Caffeine didn't help at all. I was trying to avoid having lengthy conversations with people because my brain wasn't working. I am still feeling out of it but I feel better than I did this morning.

I also wanted to go home because my rib is bothering me and my back hurts. I have nothing to relieve my pain and I should be used to it by now. My rib was clicking more today and I think I irritated it when I was coughing this morning. It is feeling more tender in that area. It's hard to tell exactly where the popping sensation is coming from. I know it is most likely somewhere between my 8th and 12th rib. Ribs 8-10 are more susceptible to damage because they aren't connected to the sternum. They are connected to each other by cartilage. I don't think my rib got messed up initially by coughing because I don't remember having this issue after my last asthma attack. I think it's from lifting heavy pans and pushing and pulling carts all day. I also remember I was carrying a pan in decontam one day and accidentally running into the sink with it and jabbing myself in the side of my gut so maybe that has something to with it. I felt like I got the wind knocked out of me when I did that. I also have arthritis and I probably have vitamin deficiencies and that's taking a toll on my body so I'm more prone to injury. I just feel so beat up and sometimes I feel like I am rotting. I am glad I'm not having any other breathing issues so I don't feel like this is an emergency. I know that it's not dislocated completely otherwise I would be in a lot more pain. I don't notice it as much when I am resting. I am still planning on getting it checked out and I hope I can wait until Friday.

I still don't think I should be working but I am afraid to call in for some reason. I might tomorrow if I feel bad still. I always feel so guilty about it and I'm afraid I am going to get in trouble or something. I hate that I have more health issues than everyone else because it's embarrassing. I don't want to use my PTO. I know that I won't have enough left to cover my day off on the 25th if I do that because I would want to take more than 1 sick day. I don't want to use FMLA because it makes me feel trapped there. I don't know what to do. I just want to take care of myself. I don't want to be tough anymore.

It was a really busy day for me as usual. I don't even remember how many cases I had. I haven't been paying attention to that as much because I just expect there to be a lot to do all the time now. The days just blend together. Nothing too crazy happened. I had to stay 20 minutes late so I wasn't thrilled about that.

I ate breakfast but I didn't eat lunch because the cafeteria smelled like cat food since they were serving salmon. I picked up food on my way home but I got way more than I should have and I couldn't finish it. I feel so gross now.

The heat is also unbearable. My car didn't start to cool down until I was almost home. I hate this weather and I don't want to be outside at all.

I don't have much else to talk about. I am so sleepy and I need to relax now. I already got ready for bed so I don't have anything else I need to do so that's good. I'm going to try not to stay up late. I hope I feel more alive tomorrow and that it's a better day.

I hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow. Thanks for listening. 💖💖💖